tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81877138275181350872024-03-13T03:39:07.579-07:00Your Uniquely Crafted PurposeLiving life with clarity and purposeJennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.comBlogger97125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-84817911677791191292021-04-17T11:09:00.001-07:002021-04-17T11:11:28.599-07:00Life under PRESSURE<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6OHn2whTujPFPqJjTJKkgKY8JwbAYtn63aC-o5FKsjFLuuJIUuQ9UZQ-I6EXV2FDo9BkIQQBhjFgerqeUVrMD458464BZzw0_BJ6L8zSDMd7s7QqmnfiY22xYRseYwo2SheSnR4aOVVQG/s2048/IMG_9828.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1714" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6OHn2whTujPFPqJjTJKkgKY8JwbAYtn63aC-o5FKsjFLuuJIUuQ9UZQ-I6EXV2FDo9BkIQQBhjFgerqeUVrMD458464BZzw0_BJ6L8zSDMd7s7QqmnfiY22xYRseYwo2SheSnR4aOVVQG/s320/IMG_9828.jpg" /></a></p><p>I had a Covid-19 test positive on November 23, 2020. Since then so much has changed inside my body, I don't have time to list it all. And no one really wants to know the details.</p><p>The PRESSURE of performing to the standard of what I was before I got sick is constant. Real or imagined (with a side order of mom guilt, of course), I fight all day to do what I once did (without even thinking about it), fight back the anxiety that comes when I realize I can't, fight forward for the positivity I know will get me through the day with the best outlook I can, and fight against the flashes of Covid-19 related PTSD that can (and at times, do) become crippling and shut down the whole day. </p><p>There are two key components in my fight against this PRESSURE. </p><p>Jesus and <a href="https://www.oolalife.com/" target="_blank">Oola</a> (website link). </p><p>Jesus- My faith has given me what I need to navigate treacherous mental and emotional waters in the past, so I lean in like I always have, holding on tight to the One I know Who holds my past, present, and future. </p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/gYKgrRzZPik" target="_blank">Oola</a> (What is it- YouTube video)- is a new word to me in the past few weeks but it has brought fresh hope and freedom that floods me with belief that no matter what I am facing at any moment, there is a stability to be found in the practical pursuit of balance in my unbalanced life. I have often said balance is BS - there is NO way to do it. But, Oola has proven me wrong and continues to challenge that mindset. </p><p>The PRESSURE of things feeling "off" is a constant I experience from the moment of waking to the moment of sleep. This morning, while trying to decompress from yelling at my kid from my exhausted state, a panic attack, and my phone filling with text messages of things to do, I put my <a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/Oola-Find-Balance-in-an-Unbalanced-World-Audiobook/B014M0MLI2?source_code=MSNGBWS0929169043&cvosrc=ppc.bing.&cvo_campaign=367588667&cvo_crid=76622343149833&Matchtype=e&msclkid=cfc1b40eccce1a127b50d475ee799b80&gclid=cfc1b40eccce1a127b50d475ee799b80&gclsrc=3p.ds" target="_blank">Oola</a> (link to audio book on Audible) audio book on to center my focus on what I can do, today, to move forward with being me, today, right where I am, struggles and all</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHsZXk8SMQNs6kZiiBDw3QUvYru-kcPT1mROGV-Gwq3cswDYoaLjLd-haSph9NSKPzE73qEhDCig2DuY04lQJn88RO3BlOc40A-b18tVPg8vfQOH2ncSDbpPXZ-nEmHblJRF9_mVqJ_WUN/s1200/Oola+Faith.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1200" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHsZXk8SMQNs6kZiiBDw3QUvYru-kcPT1mROGV-Gwq3cswDYoaLjLd-haSph9NSKPzE73qEhDCig2DuY04lQJn88RO3BlOc40A-b18tVPg8vfQOH2ncSDbpPXZ-nEmHblJRF9_mVqJ_WUN/w230-h230/Oola+Faith.jpg" width="230" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU7nUw-6-aa1C8-JSK20RNENmuLbPnThiK-LNl1XVKu6l5PcnSmxh3h5COXWmQL1KXkJ-cd8vk_WsY32Kl-Vg4mVQEBjy7TSF4T-Skuk5oMkJd5F14FHJneRMysQNmD0gHPcz_mOE8MXNT/s2048/IMG_6610.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU7nUw-6-aa1C8-JSK20RNENmuLbPnThiK-LNl1XVKu6l5PcnSmxh3h5COXWmQL1KXkJ-cd8vk_WsY32Kl-Vg4mVQEBjy7TSF4T-Skuk5oMkJd5F14FHJneRMysQNmD0gHPcz_mOE8MXNT/w339-h226/IMG_6610.JPG" width="339" /></a></div><br />. <p></p><p>There is PRESSURE all around us about who and what we should do and be. Sometimes, it gets to me, but now, more frequently than before, I let it drive me forward, like catching a wave and riding it to the shore. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEAhOTF1sw5IYLBp3-XtGFel9FPpU5LfE3GCEAKW69i23h8H_DagwIt3OIH4AQBpxb-nI7Hw1-oEHwhSNOM9K68srUiXgQCOocueLxLNxUERMLSxCiColCs0DeAnrvG1rTwFD2FIs3g7r-/s1200/Oola+Life.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEAhOTF1sw5IYLBp3-XtGFel9FPpU5LfE3GCEAKW69i23h8H_DagwIt3OIH4AQBpxb-nI7Hw1-oEHwhSNOM9K68srUiXgQCOocueLxLNxUERMLSxCiColCs0DeAnrvG1rTwFD2FIs3g7r-/w320-h320/Oola+Life.jpg" width="320" /></a></p><p>If you want to know more about Jesus or <a href="https://www.oolalife.com/" target="_blank">Oola</a>, let me know. They are both super rad! One saved my soul and life and the other is saving my mind and body. </p>Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com0Coeur d'Alene, ID, USA47.6734632 -116.781222519.363229363821155 -151.9374725 75.983697036178853 -81.6249725tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-53792919219726890532020-10-12T11:44:00.000-07:002020-10-12T11:44:34.430-07:00Our Anniversary is the Only Holiday We Earn<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUtMAq3fYJmYAn9gWANJQRNsR9aeADqtvbhmlci2koOmogQBhx9xCbFQRaYcIiOFlpaDDG0gN54_3ijQbBZh2dFygMjIH4sZoHvFlIvHKtjprRLiSkUnFTd4YCZGPaE4UJQ1JIQOUBcKLy/s2048/Wedding+Rehersal+1991+crop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUtMAq3fYJmYAn9gWANJQRNsR9aeADqtvbhmlci2koOmogQBhx9xCbFQRaYcIiOFlpaDDG0gN54_3ijQbBZh2dFygMjIH4sZoHvFlIvHKtjprRLiSkUnFTd4YCZGPaE4UJQ1JIQOUBcKLy/w240-h320/Wedding+Rehersal+1991+crop.jpg" title="Our Rehearsal" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm-AB7lyomybWb7Ulj_SLsAQCBYVdBe8S27RiESkpFKwFyl6cEwmaj8pZZm8T5n0CqZMJLZDi_OzONRHCQg5u8F0CBI9R6sYqJ2H6soCfDT_5xZlz8iApzEAK3SSqJF5BhDYE6kRo12_uk/s2048/IMG_7961.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm-AB7lyomybWb7Ulj_SLsAQCBYVdBe8S27RiESkpFKwFyl6cEwmaj8pZZm8T5n0CqZMJLZDi_OzONRHCQg5u8F0CBI9R6sYqJ2H6soCfDT_5xZlz8iApzEAK3SSqJF5BhDYE6kRo12_uk/w400-h300/IMG_7961.jpg" title="Our Wedding Day" width="400" /></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Our first decade we spent growing up, making ridiculous financial decisions, fighting, and transitioning our lives from southern California to north Idaho living. We found a church home, grew in our faith, and wrestled with the discomfort of identity crisis and infertility. We stretched in ways we did not know we could move, and we bent in places that had no joint. And we celebrated 10 years by renewing our vows with our close friends. It was only the beginning of knowing what those vows meant.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij15KmwrCfmYxsZuhJjlQrOiwrOU0UMh1_9dYdxbgYgY29gYg25XocAzcFR3FPL38FtLev5hp_ItbW2J3Yhlh73Ev9ceM4DZP-zzsC6fY2ZZ1gaHK4aqHORrLvUOKic1uLtt1NvWXS9A2Y/s2048/IMG_7958.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij15KmwrCfmYxsZuhJjlQrOiwrOU0UMh1_9dYdxbgYgY29gYg25XocAzcFR3FPL38FtLev5hp_ItbW2J3Yhlh73Ev9ceM4DZP-zzsC6fY2ZZ1gaHK4aqHORrLvUOKic1uLtt1NvWXS9A2Y/w400-h300/IMG_7958.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Our second decade we spent trying to figure out how to grow together despite our differences. How to lean into the friendship we built, connect on a deeper level with the dear ones around us as our prayers were answered and we became parents. Moving from the house we built together to make room for Erik’s mom to move in with us for a season, learning to live together within the challenge of navigating post-partum depression, the loss of a baby, and parenting three under five tested our relationship in ways we could never have imagined. And we celebrated 20 years by renewing our vows with close friends and family. It was another chapter of understanding what those vows meant.</div></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHWYNWjn_CfTfQ83aMXid1-ee_ywoTgmYddFqKlP6i2kSEtYqNaBkqex9fkngrjhh9O1SXsmqJUu_RbDZhyphenhyphenFnMk_RNsLbGWiGGp3AHBlxO9KiszMqcZu2dpeDMLS28-1IrBgVslNc0rRR9/s2048/IMG_7411.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHWYNWjn_CfTfQ83aMXid1-ee_ywoTgmYddFqKlP6i2kSEtYqNaBkqex9fkngrjhh9O1SXsmqJUu_RbDZhyphenhyphenFnMk_RNsLbGWiGGp3AHBlxO9KiszMqcZu2dpeDMLS28-1IrBgVslNc0rRR9/w266-h400/IMG_7411.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOC8LfiqKZ7tJg39DWwp3uHRgl4z2GQf5hDrFCPyXLDk3gSOdHZxblwTVNOHR3hCIzQF2wRAW4khzuuOScHRt_Ode9qdbxufm6jxt4JswAP6SL65GyBn304GV2pdZL_C3Ts4LegVpPn5mj/s2048/IMG_7362.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOC8LfiqKZ7tJg39DWwp3uHRgl4z2GQf5hDrFCPyXLDk3gSOdHZxblwTVNOHR3hCIzQF2wRAW4khzuuOScHRt_Ode9qdbxufm6jxt4JswAP6SL65GyBn304GV2pdZL_C3Ts4LegVpPn5mj/s320/IMG_7362.jpg" /></a></div><br />Our third decade is almost over. We have spent it growing with our kids in developmental stages of parenting as they challenge and change us in new ways. Another identity crisis, more tears and choices, more transitions, overcoming and investing in the ones God’s called us to, outside of our bloodline. There are many who pray and remind us of how far we have come and how God’s amazing Grace provides for our every need, daily. Without them I do not know if we would have made it this far. Our differences remain tangible, our ability to make each other laugh virtually effortless, and our commitment to choose Love, even when it scars our souls and is unimaginably uncomfortable remains. And I imagine we will renew our vows again for our 30<sup>th</sup> anniversary, because it still matters what those vows mean.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM-osV1ZiUXNeadxEhbEd2SLqxjro9CoxWk0KzmTOErQ9QihMgIckc5TJ-J6GFJqHN9mqGXNBubFOgYPVWMNY1abYOFEW4CjaFzwz4ZcNQZMjY_wGCYCa_YqhfiuproOzAWNUw1TOEulpc/s2048/IMG_6781.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1271" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM-osV1ZiUXNeadxEhbEd2SLqxjro9CoxWk0KzmTOErQ9QihMgIckc5TJ-J6GFJqHN9mqGXNBubFOgYPVWMNY1abYOFEW4CjaFzwz4ZcNQZMjY_wGCYCa_YqhfiuproOzAWNUw1TOEulpc/s320/IMG_6781.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoATegYNYhOxzql5Y5Bu_OxWMJP4FZYQQBRtxM-QsEb4QoPRWdy4gsNSwHRKwaH0WExukTxylojyXdzDQExioJC3FcQOapUPY9HFvLb22D3sJ6ANRwhpmt3mpbgdtEl1ugpmcsvap1VLFv/s2048/IMG_7086.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoATegYNYhOxzql5Y5Bu_OxWMJP4FZYQQBRtxM-QsEb4QoPRWdy4gsNSwHRKwaH0WExukTxylojyXdzDQExioJC3FcQOapUPY9HFvLb22D3sJ6ANRwhpmt3mpbgdtEl1ugpmcsvap1VLFv/s320/IMG_7086.jpg" /></a></div>Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com0Coeur d'Alene, ID, USA47.6734632 -116.781222519.363229363821155 -151.9374725 75.983697036178853 -81.6249725tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-73100656433203964472020-01-12T22:19:00.000-08:002020-01-12T23:03:32.129-08:00Just so you know, you're not alone...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWKd5UA-RtQUwpK5V6IOihPtzcfB4W8g6v10ZriKU12bx4-B1J4WC7MI8SemHP05AYqkLo2lAG122n1gwT5I6i_nHldiWmUHsoCfrAbMzDRSNIu3irXgJQYq75QcCXzXA1kHFeF1z2R7RI/s1600/IMG_7352.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWKd5UA-RtQUwpK5V6IOihPtzcfB4W8g6v10ZriKU12bx4-B1J4WC7MI8SemHP05AYqkLo2lAG122n1gwT5I6i_nHldiWmUHsoCfrAbMzDRSNIu3irXgJQYq75QcCXzXA1kHFeF1z2R7RI/s320/IMG_7352.HEIC" width="240" /></a></div>
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Intense seasons produce intense responses in our home. I
wish I could say my Love and I always communicate with patience, kindness and
grace. But we don’t. We feel all the feels and express all the stuff. <o:p></o:p></div>
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ACTUAL cliff notes of Conversations THIS week – I’m not even kidding Monday – Sunday (today):</div>
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<u>Chores and cash</u> – <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some chores are paid, and others are not. If
you want money, earn it. Grab a shovel and hit up the neighbors for work clearing
snow, get your grades up because we’ll pay you for that too. A’s = $10, B’s =
$5, C’s get you $0 and you will pay us $5 for D’s and $10 for F’s. Giving isn’t
optional, it is mandatory. You can do more with 90% than you realize. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<u>Family time</u> – Games and Growth, connecting with each
other is the point, even if it isn’t your favorite game. Cell phones remain a privilege.
Social media is fine. And washing your hands with toothpaste for a Tik Tok
video isn’t amusing to Dad and Mom if you make said video after your phone is
supposed to be put away for the night and you’re supposed to be in bed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<u>The damaging effects of pornography</u> – distorted understanding
of intimacy and sexuality, every guy and girl in those pictures or videos is
someone’s son or daughter, real people who have real purpose and value, and
many are forced into that life under tragic and hideous circumstances. The adverse
effects on their brains - the chemistry and addiction centers<o:p></o:p></div>
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<u>Creating “costumes” that are not as funny as a teen brain
might consider</u> – poking fun at anyone different is NEVER funny. It speaks
to your character – what you consider funny, who you could and will hurt, and how
the ability to decide the appropriateness of a specific costume idea is severely
compromised by age and experience. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<u>The difference between suicidal thoughts and really just
wanting to not do hard things</u> – If you don’t really want to die, but you
feel like you don’t want to deal with one more hard thing, you need to
speak up. This is super important and more urgent than you think. It means you need
help carrying your load and managing your heart and mind. It is only scary if
you hold it in. Once you speak it out, some of the pain actually vanishes and
the rest is shared with Dad or Mom, so you don’t have to deal with it alone. If you or someone you know wants to die - this is an EMERGENCY - Ask for help right away.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<u>What really loving someone you don’t know looks like</u> –
daily choices of kindness, words of encouragement, making eye contact and
smiling, and choosing the path of erring on the side of honoring people because
they matter, not because they’ve earned it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<u>Randomness Category</u> – discussions about sex drive,
not-so-funny memes, and things that make me laugh on the inside, but I dare not
snicker a bit lest they think its okay to repeat to someone outside of our nest.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<u>Focusing on sexual identity</u> – students who are
stating they are LGBTQ as young as 11 are to be loved and focused on as people.
To be clear, none of our guys struggle with caring about these dear ones. The
questions come from their interpretation of how much of life is defined by your
sexual identity. The struggle, wrestling with that aspect of identity doesn’t
change the need for love, support and encouragement. Regardless of how they
identify, that is not how they are defined. All are dear treasures created by God
for powerful purpose and destiny. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, in case that wasn’t enough, I am late getting my paper
due this week because I have chosen many of these conversations over research
and paper writing. I have emailed with school staff regarding learning challenges,
issues relating to the above conversations, and setting up the annual meeting
for Individual Education Plan (IEP) for one of our fellas. The other two 504
behavior plan meetings have been checked off the list for this year but follow
up psych testing is on the calendar as of this week and counseling still to be
booked. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Almost 700 words shared on the intensity of this week and it
barely scratches the surface. These are mere cliff notes and not full conversations
so if you find yourself concerned about the welfare of our children from what
you’ve read, be assured they are not in danger and we regularly pursue
professional assistance, exercise, belly laughs, inside jokes, mostly healthy
eating, occasional swearing, and regular prayers of both gratitude and
desperation. <o:p></o:p></div>
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May you receive this with the purpose for which it was written: You are not alone in things being hard. They are. Relationships are full of messy and painful conversations and opportunities to lean in and connect or disconnect and walk away. We are doing our best and grateful for your prayers. Thank you for your kindness in not judging or analyzing our function or malfunctions. Much Love from the trenches!</div>
<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-24953228836943181152019-06-27T21:48:00.003-07:002019-06-27T21:48:48.005-07:00How do I change the WORLD?!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfzgA5mVj6fO32u2NTk8y1N6_oHByd4zQTrMkgaJ8yd9vM-xPrJmAMMTn2wKU3mpplHlmvEFTYaoBcgy53umnyUloRX8OvGOO3spI8l3dh8JCh0hSSdrFf8Le6J3y1DbUVXcrw6qfsVAEy/s1600/IMG_1821.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfzgA5mVj6fO32u2NTk8y1N6_oHByd4zQTrMkgaJ8yd9vM-xPrJmAMMTn2wKU3mpplHlmvEFTYaoBcgy53umnyUloRX8OvGOO3spI8l3dh8JCh0hSSdrFf8Le6J3y1DbUVXcrw6qfsVAEy/s320/IMG_1821.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div>
I can't believe it's been since the end of May that I've blogged with the <a href="https://fiveminutefriday.com/2019/06/27/fmf-writing-prompt-link-up-world/?fbclid=IwAR1xEX5NjvEu5uzu29aTkwj7mhOe7Bi8PFClVacQAB5Kc3mGJgLh9r6FCNc" target="_blank">Five Minute Friday peeps</a>! We get a one word prompt and cram for five minutes on that word with minimal edits - the point is to write. No pressure. No worries. Just let the words fall out that go with the prompt.<br />
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This week's prompt is WORLD.<br />
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Start<br />
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How do you change the WORLD?!<br />
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One moment at a time. One smile. One breath. One prayer. One song. One laugh. One yes. One thought.at.a.time.<br />
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When I think about it, I know the influence I have as a human in this WORLD is incremental. If I lose sight of those small increments, I will never influence the life, blessing, kindness, love, respect and joy I want to infuse into this hard place we dwell.<br />
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Sweeping tragedies, hardened hearts, acid tongues, self-hating thoughts push and shove to take authority of the WORLD around me.<br />
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But, I can choose.<br />
<br />
One moment at a time. One smile. One breath. One prayer. One song. One laugh. One yes. One thought.at.a.time.<br />
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And change the WORLD.<br />
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Stop.<br />
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This song - Blesses me like crazy! I hope it blesses you too!<br />
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School, work, packing, moving, getting kids out of school, finishing PTO responsibilities, the list goes on... but, today, I'm back!<br />
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I have to write on Thursday night, because I never know what the next day will bring!<br />
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Thanks for reading!Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-29535836118262745872019-05-24T21:39:00.003-07:002019-05-24T21:39:42.813-07:00CULTURE of Pain ____________.Linking up with my Friend Kate on <a href="https://fiveminutefriday.com/linkup/" target="_blank">Five Minute Friday</a> this week. Our word prompt is CULTURE. Now, five minutes of minimal edits and maximum thoughts on CULTURE.<br />
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Do I want to cultivate a CULTURE of Pain <u>Avoidance?</u> or a CULTURE of Pain <u>Endurance?</u><br />
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If I spend my life avoiding pain,<br />
trying to minimize pain,<br />
rationalize self-comfort from pain,<br />
or any other escape from walking forward through life's pain,<br />
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Then how much can I really grow?<br />
Or set an example for ones who are watching me, learning from my responses to pain?<br />
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When I endure the pain, embracing the challenge of walking through it - I get strong, wise, tenacious, committed and focused on growing, healing and changing as I persevere.<br />
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What if that became the CULTURE I cultivated at home, with my family, friends and co-workers?<br />
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Rise up, face pain head on, moving forward, reaching for the other side -<br />
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The resolution of perseverance - becoming peace and freedom.<br />
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My experience has taught me, when I acknowledge and embrace pain I have more energy to learn and grow than I do if I spend all my energy running, coping, denying, or actively covering my pain.<br />
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Now, it's your turn to decide:<br />
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Do you want to cultivate a<br />
<br />
CULTURE of Pain <u>Avoidance?</u><br />
<br />
or a<br />
<br />
CULTURE of Pain <u>Endurance?</u><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtQMNfCY2OHRS0ASIvd3Eqm7FR0YN0uI_bMdeJ1ao5A6afR4i14u7aItHNqtde1Mne-qFwNJSF5cJtcfd4rWEgOrLUfxJ-eKqMxdVDAF9eId9Gsu4g2y0C2SvF-xp2iSlQliQ5Z42jH034/s1600/Trust+the+strength+in+my+core+%2528be+strong+in+my+identity%2529+_+Eyes+up+%2528look+ahead%2529+_+Settle+%2528be%2529_+Soften+%2528relaxed%2529+_+Become+fluid+in+the+situation+%2528flexible+enough+to+see+alternate+solutions%2529+and+_+Move+forward.+%25281%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtQMNfCY2OHRS0ASIvd3Eqm7FR0YN0uI_bMdeJ1ao5A6afR4i14u7aItHNqtde1Mne-qFwNJSF5cJtcfd4rWEgOrLUfxJ-eKqMxdVDAF9eId9Gsu4g2y0C2SvF-xp2iSlQliQ5Z42jH034/s320/Trust+the+strength+in+my+core+%2528be+strong+in+my+identity%2529+_+Eyes+up+%2528look+ahead%2529+_+Settle+%2528be%2529_+Soften+%2528relaxed%2529+_+Become+fluid+in+the+situation+%2528flexible+enough+to+see+alternate+solutions%2529+and+_+Move+forward.+%25281%2529.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My personal recipe for cultivating a CULTURE of Pain Endurance.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-30948886362497863532019-05-10T09:00:00.000-07:002019-05-10T09:11:09.143-07:00PRACTICE the Basics - Five Minute FridayI'm writing with the <a href="https://fiveminutefriday.com/2019/05/09/fmf-writing-prompt-link-up-practice/" target="_blank">Five Minute Friday</a> bunch today.<br />
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The prompt is PRACTICE.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcS4XrHP4un_HlRGCz3uWLBKRJwzyX5mKW8a-3lAkwPf0LKveCtQuOfdRWI9xglZeYEvznBnMUbySPRkbNwbdECrWr070sR4sHX-66Gt-iO2JjeOnyflZgxcn01C3PYOMY1cuBzaqL2WBR/s1600/IMG_1456.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcS4XrHP4un_HlRGCz3uWLBKRJwzyX5mKW8a-3lAkwPf0LKveCtQuOfdRWI9xglZeYEvznBnMUbySPRkbNwbdECrWr070sR4sHX-66Gt-iO2JjeOnyflZgxcn01C3PYOMY1cuBzaqL2WBR/s320/IMG_1456.HEIC" width="240" /></a></div>
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I am having a hard time getting back into shape. I spent the past 11 months recovering from a migraine that almost killed me. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I have changed forever because of it. I am not sure the changes are good or bad. They just are. More on that another time.<br />
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PRACTICE the basics - Walking. Walking is good. It's boring. Unless I watch for beauty. But, it doesn't freak me out. Hopefully swimming will be a blessing soon too. In this place of PRACTICE I have had to give myself permission to slow down.<br />
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I learned in a Mental Health First Aid class something that brought an enormous revelation for me. If panic attacks have been a part of your life (they have) then the feeling of getting your heart rate up to get a good workout going can feel as awful as a panic attack.<br />
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I have to PRACTICE walking, building endurance and reminding myself over and over again that I am doing this by choice, I am okay, and everything is okay.<br />
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I am not a fan of this. I kind of resent it. I used to pound out a crazy hard workout and love it. Now, I have to work my way S-L-O-W-L-Y back into shape.Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-76403540272529115182019-04-08T06:39:00.004-07:002019-04-08T06:39:59.012-07:00Messy Monday: Fear SUCKS!Fear SUCKS<br />
the joy<br />
the peace<br />
the hope<br />
the energy<br />
the vision<br />
the purpose<br />
the focus<br />
out of life.<br />
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I woke up with what felt very much like a nightmare this morning. I've studied dream interpretation for years so I am still sorting out the message in it. I know there is one, but for now, I'm using it to get back to my Messy Monday blogging.<br />
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Things are going pretty great right now.<br />
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And I am scared!<br />
<br />
I have become so used to navigating shocking, painful, and challenging life, that I am struggling deeply with the reprieve.<br />
<br />
I don't trust the rest.<br />
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Living with clinical depression with a side order of obnoxious levels of anxiety forces a hyper-vigilance that when there is a reprieve, I'm left floundering for something to freak out about.<br />
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Ridiculous waste of rest.<br />
<br />
Experience tells me things will be hard again, in one way or another, because the normal ebb and flow of life happens that way. The irony is, just a few weeks ago I was talking with a friend who struggles with similar things and I was encouraging her to just rest and be.<br />
<br />
I can look at this season as a temporary stay of execution fretting over impending doom yet unknown, or I can look at it like recess, an opportunity to take a break from the growing, learning, and stretching, to play hard, laugh more, and make space for resting and being present in this moment.<br />
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I pick recess!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAlg4o1Vp9I4279p1rrISQ7Gia_LSHU9DfEdFt21KKlHu54_2HK8jztSzq8_CXDbNldeAAZXWhyphenhyphenT2G_Hw7Lv0I3x2p_mg7ZXcQAuj3bOVul1tHyml_52E5FevLXMeNSTXE3JstMUU22Z0J/s1600/IMG_1252.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1203" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAlg4o1Vp9I4279p1rrISQ7Gia_LSHU9DfEdFt21KKlHu54_2HK8jztSzq8_CXDbNldeAAZXWhyphenhyphenT2G_Hw7Lv0I3x2p_mg7ZXcQAuj3bOVul1tHyml_52E5FevLXMeNSTXE3JstMUU22Z0J/s320/IMG_1252.HEIC" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I took my big guys on an overnight getaway during their spring break. <br />The sun shined so we put the top down on the convertible <br />and soaked up the rays, even though it was a bit chilly.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-34303283515498061402019-03-15T19:51:00.000-07:002019-03-15T19:51:16.288-07:00Five Minute Friday: Finding My PLACEI'm finally getting a chance to link up with <a href="https://fiveminutefriday.com/2019/03/14/fmf-writing-prompt-link-up-place/" target="_blank">Five Minute Friday</a>! It feels like forever since I wrote something for the sheer pleasure of it. My school work has to take precedence so it takes up my brain space. <br />
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But, <a href="https://fiveminutefriday.com/2019/03/14/fmf-writing-prompt-link-up-place/" target="_blank">today's prompt</a> just made me smile. PLACE<br />
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I have finally found my PLACE. I have a tribe. I have a church. I have a family. But, I have been without a PLACE for so long I didn't realize how much I missed it. <br />
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I never really wanted to work outside the home. I have enjoyed other spaces and employers but not like this one. <br />
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I feel like I really belong here. It is my super-busy-rest-while-I-work hard-serving-PLACE. <br />
<br />
One might wonder why I feel so at home on the psychiatric units of our regions largest hospital. Or, if you've known me a while, maybe you know exactly why. <br />
<br />
I love serving hard working care givers. I am the caregiver for the caregivers - the one who fills in the gaps, gets things done, has fresh eyes, and a responsive heart. I don't do much with or for the patients. Occaisonally I serve the relatives of the patients, but typically, I show up to serve those caring for their patients. <br />
<br />
They pour heart and soul into their patients. Caring for the lost, broken, sad, lonely, angry, afraid, and other displays of trauma and pain is their gift, their skill, their offering to this world. <br />
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I am so thankful to call this my PLACE.<br />
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Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-41106435698865770562019-01-31T10:41:00.000-08:002019-01-31T10:43:10.636-08:00Opposites Attract - An Essay I am in school studying for my Bachelor of Science degree in Healthcare Administration and Management through Colorado State University - Global. My Applied Leadership Principles class has been very interesting and challenging. This essay earned me 100% but more than that, it really caused me to dial in tight to the perspective of how important it is my Love and I work together to raise our sons. (the highlighted parts are apparently where I copied and pasted and it shows up on this background, sorry about that.)<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Opposites Attract
– Management and Leadership at Home<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Jennifer
Bogdanowicz<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">18 WB (ORG300-10)
– Applying Leadership Principles<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Colorado State University – Global Campus</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">January 27, 2019<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">Opposites
Attract – Management and Leadership at Home</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">We
have been married for over 27 years. We are opposite in almost every way. We
have a few things we are passionate about together and that is our middle
ground. We agreed years ago to prioritize our marriage first, raising our sons,
flying hot air balloons, and serving our community. We give generously, fight
hard and laugh even harder. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We combine
our efforts and extremely different skill sets to manage and to lead in our
home. We have agreed we want to create a family culture of empowerment,
encouragement and resilience. The way we approach the creation of that culture
is extremely different.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I
appreciated the plows vs. bulldozers analogy because it paints an accurate
picture of our contrasting management and leadership styles (Rao, 2016). Erik’s
bulldozer-like ability to power through resistance and obstacles is effective
and gets the job done. There is a clarity and intensity to his purpose and focus
that I admire. His hard leadership skills increase pressure, production, and
perseverance to get to the desired result. My soft leadership skills bring a
cultivating perspective, like a plow drawing to the surface great potential for
positive, transformative, and creative results (Rao, 2016).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Management<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Erik<span style="background: white;"> exercises executive, administrative, and supervisory
direction of our family (Bârgau, 2015). </span>When it comes to empowering, encouraging,
and building resilience in our sons, he is very clear about his expectations
and specific about the goals to be achieved. He manages our budget, researches
and shops carefully for necessary equipment for our family, studies for his
commercial pilots license and somehow manages to get our laundry done too. He
finishes every task he starts. He believes “early is on time and on time is
late.” He is methodical about teaching our sons how to work our hot air balloon
burners, fan, and other flight equipment. He is precise when it comes to
repairs and adjustments needed in our home. He expects the boys to do a
thorough job of every task they are assigned. If they don’t meet his standard,
there is a price to be paid. There is no cruelty, only accountability and
follow through. The pressure to produce quality men who will take
responsibility for themselves and their families weighs heavy on him. He is also
an excellent teacher at our local mountain’s free ski school and was awarded
Instructor of the Year two years ago. On the mountain I’ve heard him use soft
and hard leadership techniques that could also be utilized more at home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">He
consistently provides opportunities for our sons to advance in learning, take
calculated risks and keep moving forward even when it’s hard. I particularly
valued the insight about the benefits of high involvement management practices of
information sharing, power sharing, skill development, and recognition that
improve employee commitment because, while our boys aren’t his employees, that
is what it looks like in our home (Doucet, Lapalme, Simard, & Tremblay,
2015). This stretches his soft leadership skills and has continued to be an
opportunity for growth. For example, he took each of our sons on a ski trip in
5<sup>th</sup> grade. They discussed when, where, and what they would need to
do to be at the skill level they would need to be to ski whatever runs they
wanted. Each trip was both a challenge and reward for each son and their dad. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Leadership<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I
lead with the soft leadership skills mentioned by Rao (2016). I see our sons
and their time in our home as precious and factor in their personality, behaviors,
and attitudes in my instructions to them frequently. It is important to me that
they recognize the value of their contribution to our family life. I believe
time needs to be used wisely, but must be flexible to accommodate communication
needs. I collaborate with them, teach creative ways to approach and accomplish
tasks, and focus on the long term results I pray for – wise, kind, respectful
men who will care passionately about their wives, families and community. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I
cultivate empowerment, encouragement and resilience in our sons by being in
their processes with them with my soft leadership skills (Rao, 2016). I remind
them of their capabilities from things they have completed with excellence in
the past, I motivate them to move forward into their goals and dreams by being
persistent and committed. This support looks different for each son. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Our
oldest son swims on the high school swim team. Early in the season he wanted to
give up because it was extremely difficult to practice in the open water. I
reminded him of how often he swam throughout the summer in the same place and
how his capability was not an issue. He needed to be reminded of the courage he
contains and the abilities he already has. He didn’t quit the team, instead he
improved his times consistently throughout the season and his dad and I were
there to cheer him on. Our middle son has always been very charismatic and
gains a lot of attention with his witty sense of humor. Some adjustments were
needed early in the school year to remind him of his academic and personal
goals. We collaborated on solutions involving improvement of focus for his
grades, his classmates needs, he recognized that a funny student with As gets
treated differently than one with Ds and the importance of timing and
self-control in the classroom environment. Our youngest son has struggled with
his new teacher this year who is also new to teaching. She is quite gifted, as
is he, and it took some careful negotiating to come to agreement with him on
how his behavior can affect the students and staff around him. I reminded him
of the many times he has courageously navigated making adjustments to fit in to
a new classroom each year. I encouraged him to consider the benefits of
pursuing his goals in conjunction with his grades. We agreed it would take hard
work and persistence to make the needed changes, but in the end it would be
worth it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Our
Strengths and Weaknesses<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Each
individual scenario took time and energy to work through. I see where my
strengths of leadership shine and also how my weaknesses in management glare
when it comes to how long it takes to make the necessary modifications soft
leadership requires. My leadership style can accommodate conflict and
differences of opinion. Erik’s management style does not have much room for
those things and when they arise, so there is often a significant issue. How we
work together to solve those issues is also a source of challenge since we want
to apply our skill sets to the situation. It often requires us to back out of
the ruts of our comfortable skills and move into the middle ground areas of
shared priorities, combine our skill sets, recognizing they are complimentary
processes and move forward <span style="background: white;">(Bârgau, 2015)</span>.
We choose to have the boys present when we face these challenges so they can
learn about handling differences and conflicts with the skills we both taught
them. I am confident we could not produce our desired results of empowered,
encouraged and resilient sons with only his management and hard leadership
skills or my leadership and soft leadership skills.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Conclusion<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Our
contrasted efforts to raise our sons with shared focus and different skill sets
reminds us regularly that we have to work together to produce optimal results.
Our boys will make their own choices as they grow. We hope our commitment to
manage and lead as a team will give them the courage to embrace their own
skills for management and leadership as well as find friends and a partner with
valuable contrasting abilities. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">References<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Bârgau, M. (2015). LEADERSHIP VERSUS MANAGEMENT.<i> Romanian
Economic and Business Review, 10</i>(2), 197-204. Retrieved from
https://csuglobal.idm.oclc.org/login?url=https://search-proquest-com.csuglobal.idm.oclc.org/docview/1700066847?accountid=38569</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Doucet, O., Lapalme, M., Simard, G., & Tremblay, M.
(2015). High involvement management practices as leadership enhancers.<i> International
Journal of Manpower, 36</i>(7), 1058-1071.
doi:http://dx.doi.org.csuglobal.idm.oclc.org/10.1108/IJM-10-2013-0243</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Rao, M. S. (2016). Hard versus soft leadership? examples and
illustrations.<i> Strategic HR Review, 15</i>(4), 174-179. Retrieved
from https://csuglobal.idm.oclc.org/login?url=https://search-proquest-com.csuglobal.idm.oclc.org/docview/1850797110?accountid=38569</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-73543376347268332322019-01-21T08:20:00.000-08:002019-01-21T08:32:05.387-08:00Messy Monday: Messy Month<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLaXBGwujmk37oKZMOLhGerapTSP9eDb9cFGN8S7f-cJ0sYMyx581XHU1Enfk8VsePJ3O51yuYq9HuIXK25qVpraZJ6e9bT9XaTFNhrgEgjTJcVxFv86XWlEFY3oVewOjc9WS_HGG5ioZR/s1600/IMG_0640.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLaXBGwujmk37oKZMOLhGerapTSP9eDb9cFGN8S7f-cJ0sYMyx581XHU1Enfk8VsePJ3O51yuYq9HuIXK25qVpraZJ6e9bT9XaTFNhrgEgjTJcVxFv86XWlEFY3oVewOjc9WS_HGG5ioZR/s320/IMG_0640.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/What-Do-You-Idea/dp/1938298071/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1548086843&sr=8-1&keywords=what+do+you+do+with+an+idea" target="_blank">What Do You Do with an Idea?</a></div>
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This was one of my most very favorite of all time Christmas gifts this year! I have always been fully loaded with ideas, and this story made me smile so deeply I think my toes sparkled! I will be spending this year using the really great insights in this book.</div>
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January is always my messiest month. It is the time of memories, melancholy, and missing motivation.<br />
<br />
This year (so far) has been my least messy January. I know it's not quite over yet but its already light years from this time last year.<br />
<br />
January comes fully loaded with melancholy memories:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>I had to give baby Joy back to Heaven.</li>
<li>My Uncle (who I was super close to) went missing, later to be found in the bottom of a ravine.</li>
<li>Our marriage hit an epic level speed bump.</li>
<li>My best friend's Dad (from my childhood), who was like a second Dad to me passed away suddenly.</li>
<li>I was betrayed by a trusted friend.</li>
<li>My faith took a spectacular hit and started an entire year of suicidal thoughts and traumatizing fear.</li>
<li>I began a migraine that would last for six miserable months. </li>
</ul>
<br />
Depressed yet?! Right?!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Here is what's different THIS year:</span><br />
<ul>
<li>I miss my baby Joy, but it's finally like she's just tucked in my heart, the agony of losing her is a memory but not a crushing loss.</li>
<li>My Uncle, I miss him. Often. But the relationship I have with his sons blesses me like crazy and I can hear and see so much of him in them, it's almost like he's still here.</li>
<li>Our marriage is stronger, better for the painful struggle to recover and makes me smile when I think of it. </li>
<li>My best friend's Dad. I still miss him, but if, I stop, in the quiet moments, I can still hear his voice calling me Jenn-aaa-fur (emphasis on the aaa).</li>
<li>My friend and I, we've worked it out. We're going to be okay.</li>
<li>My faith is tougher, pretty close to unshakable (seriously knocking on my wooden head!). It's power is limitless and my passion for loving "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Always-Becoming-Setbacks-Difficult/dp/0718078136/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1548085117&sr=8-1&keywords=everybody+always+bob+goff" target="_blank">Everybody Always</a>" is freaking awesome!</li>
<li>The migraine is over. Extracted with all my girl parts this past summer. No sign of anything like it happening again! Correctly monitored hormones being replaced as needed and watched over carefully. </li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">How did this transition happen?</span> </div>
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I took this advice VERY seriously. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYtQB3zTuxL5ijRrsCnFPx8sYF87DepVkrnc1lgCI42_GS3hbYfmkfEOQpLBupkqi3HIXNTCnSI2uDJOAflJ4azz_al0HhIXfEMsCCXKAZXj2mZIpZ7l5PfjGidrBg5KZFn9VBWqSvRu2X/s1600/IMG_0608.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="850" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYtQB3zTuxL5ijRrsCnFPx8sYF87DepVkrnc1lgCI42_GS3hbYfmkfEOQpLBupkqi3HIXNTCnSI2uDJOAflJ4azz_al0HhIXfEMsCCXKAZXj2mZIpZ7l5PfjGidrBg5KZFn9VBWqSvRu2X/s320/IMG_0608.JPG" width="283" /></a></div>
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AND</div>
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I have a few big goals, a great job, and an opportunity to finish my education. These things are keeping me busy, challenged and happy. Our sons are changing in really cool ways, growing taller than me (2 of 3), making voice crack jokes and we're finally starting to pay them for grades.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip24CYlWFihoDbpcClzEU0qiTEETUBIYVLSQdgwA258LYRhMT0GFU_cHmKQTK-8LgiydBVU83Kaxs0H_X7nS3MjMrS57zf-BSzsYolejO6eBs9fWYJZ4LVnwPP8GcPEM9EZbbF2SaejZPq/s1600/IMG_0679.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip24CYlWFihoDbpcClzEU0qiTEETUBIYVLSQdgwA258LYRhMT0GFU_cHmKQTK-8LgiydBVU83Kaxs0H_X7nS3MjMrS57zf-BSzsYolejO6eBs9fWYJZ4LVnwPP8GcPEM9EZbbF2SaejZPq/s320/IMG_0679.JPG" width="320" /></a>If you have reached this point in January, still feeling discouraged or beginning to feel that way, reach out. To me. To someone. You don't have to do it alone. </div>
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<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-11528434528295951902019-01-07T22:53:00.001-08:002019-01-07T22:53:14.134-08:00Messy Monday: Goals, Plans, and Great Expectations<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW4tT9JJs1DQpPUc7JOMcb18u2c0SY5Cslzak8vrOJ2xI_pDEh5S7qMQBqT2Xx3v28nSgwUu512aPLoB5EiZC-p0M7-7NbUKjQlWydW49YQGFctXxzqj6DFL_kyXwDAiLawbQ0ybGfhgnr/s1600/DSC_0173+%25283%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW4tT9JJs1DQpPUc7JOMcb18u2c0SY5Cslzak8vrOJ2xI_pDEh5S7qMQBqT2Xx3v28nSgwUu512aPLoB5EiZC-p0M7-7NbUKjQlWydW49YQGFctXxzqj6DFL_kyXwDAiLawbQ0ybGfhgnr/s320/DSC_0173+%25283%2529.JPG" width="320" /></a>Last Monday I completely soaked up my family time and let the Messiness of the week before fade into the last minutes of 2018. It was a rough year with some great highlights.<br />
<br />
I realized, while watching the Rose Parade (streaming poorly-this sad California girl was not happy) that I didn't accomplish my final most likely to happen goal of 2018: Buy Awesome RED Shoes<br />
<br />
Seriously, who puts off buying glorious red shoes?! Apparently me. Because it didn't happen. I'm going to just let it go, I think. If, like Dorothy, some amazing red shoes show up right in front of me, then maybe I'll buy them.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Goals:</span></b> This past weekend we did something as a family besides puberty stricken alpha males posturing for supremacy and avoid chores with equal intensity. I walked them each through my favorite Goal Setting Plan I got from my Coach and Friend, <a href="http://www.terrygurno.com/" target="_blank">Terry Gurno</a>. It is the 1-3-5 method. I asked a few questions I gathered from my <a href="https://www.livingwellspendingless.com/2018/07/12/the-living-well-planner-is-back/" target="_blank">Living Well Planner by Ruth Soukup</a>, and then started writing what they said.<br />
<br />
We each prayed about what word we would focus on for the year.<br />
<br />
Our big 3 goals.<br />
<br />
Then the 1-3-5<br />
<br />
1) A statement that puts into a sentence or two what you want to achieve for the coming year.<br />
3) Write the three goals listed in your sentence.<br />
5) Write down 5 things you can do to accomplish the goal.<br />
<br />
Here is Mine for this year:<br />
My Word: <b>Embrace</b><br />
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My big 3: Take Action, Get Stronger, Stay Open<br />
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<u>ONE</u>: <i>In 2019 I will embrace taking more action, getting stronger, and staying open to being led by the Spirit. </i><br />
<br />
<u>THREE</u> and <u>FIVE</u>:<br />
<br />
<b>1--Take Action</b> - Just DO it! No more pondering, planning, waiting, avoiding, or procrastinating.<br />
1)Workout<br />
2) Write<br />
3) Organize<br />
4) Clean<br />
5) Pray<br />
<br />
<b>2-- Get Stronger</b> - Power UP!<br />
1) Mentally Stronger: Push through hard stuff - engage tenacity!<br />
2) Physically Stronger: Endurance cardio and weight lifting<br />
3) Spiritually Stronger: Read New Testament and write down/pray through my dreams<br />
4) Emotionally Stronger - Allow space for being a woman (in my man-full house), counseling<br />
5) Practically Stronger - Gym bag packed and ready, playlists, good Kleenex, journal <br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>3-- Stay Open</b> - Flexible, available, come what may.<br />
1) Listen carefully to Spirit - be quiet<br />
2) Schedule "Open" times for appointments that arise<br />
3) Say YES more, to Spirit, to my Love, my fellas, as led<br />
4) Available mindset - don't be so focused on my agenda that I miss something important<br />
5) Embrace curve balls - something is always going to shake up the plan, go with it!<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Plans:</span></b> We keep making plans and like an epic game of whack-a-mole - and then something pops up. Then something else before you can grab a hammer, then something else once you whack the mole, another one shows up, but what if I grab a hammer in each hand and play! Laugh as the moles pop up, I bop them on the head and then again and again. Pretend this is that famous Mouse with bad pizza and sticky floors place and jump in all the way!!!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisWTiQHjIGRlOCoMD7CKlbVBegUoG85GwrZQEMXrpf96jDck7Be55q1JdqAAxZB1N7zSupn0I6EA7YJ-7wvyDZOs69xMTpe1Qp-vKSL-66p0XDIJAWKicDiDu5u9xQJ9j7xD2TtZr6CftX/s1600/whackamole.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="220" data-original-width="450" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisWTiQHjIGRlOCoMD7CKlbVBegUoG85GwrZQEMXrpf96jDck7Be55q1JdqAAxZB1N7zSupn0I6EA7YJ-7wvyDZOs69xMTpe1Qp-vKSL-66p0XDIJAWKicDiDu5u9xQJ9j7xD2TtZr6CftX/s320/whackamole.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Great Expectations:</span></b> After six months of a migraine, a complete hysterectomy, recovery from both, medical bills, sons in horrible situations/events that required constant attention and collaboration with the administration of schools, police, administration in other organizations, doctors, and nurses, I have high hopes for 2019. As I stated above, regardless of what comes my way, I am much stronger than I was at the beginning of 2018. For that, I am incredibly grateful!<br />
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Feel free to reach out if you have any questions and I have a copy of the actual 1-3-5 form you can fill out.<br />
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<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-59182894238283298012018-12-24T01:12:00.004-08:002018-12-24T01:14:07.782-08:00Messy Monday: Back to School, Averages, and Making Time<br />
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I skipped last week, and my Love would say I need to be in bed instead of making sure I post this week. However, I made a commitment to mention my messiness so here it is!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEdSiTfl_8gtkKe-2uGuQCMoG_3VE6awVCq_sBvepfP1olX0PzAbb2o_y3q3NprOLyMsARtDi0yQKAsVIco84B9jhZ1S0JB5Nb9_qbnN2x4QNTEUfeC6QhVyc8s-0cBKN1eCS7lg_tThX5/s1600/IMG_0483.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="700" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEdSiTfl_8gtkKe-2uGuQCMoG_3VE6awVCq_sBvepfP1olX0PzAbb2o_y3q3NprOLyMsARtDi0yQKAsVIco84B9jhZ1S0JB5Nb9_qbnN2x4QNTEUfeC6QhVyc8s-0cBKN1eCS7lg_tThX5/s320/IMG_0483.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">AND SHINY THINGS!!!</td></tr>
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Introducing ME! </div>
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I started back to school on the 10th. My "vintage" credits made most of the cut so I am starting mid-Junior year as far as credits go. Here is the introduction entry I made for my first assignment. </div>
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<i>Jennifer Bogdanowicz here, majoring in Healthcare
Administration, living in northern Idaho with my husband of 27+ years, our
three sons who are 14, 13, and 10. I have served in multiple administrative and
medical positions over the years. I finally decided to combine the two and do
something useful with both. I never wanted a career, only to be a stay at home
mom. Almost 10 years of infertility forced me to get a job (or many) and find a
way to invest in people since I couldn’t be a parent. My resume’ is loaded with
everything from Head Athletic Trainer, Executive Assistant to Idaho State Fire
Commissioners, Emergency Medical Technician, Pony Pals ride operator, substitute
teacher, owner of Live Courageous Coaching, LLC, and currently the Supplemental
Inpatient Secretary for the Adolescent Psych Unit in our region’s largest
hospital. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>I am an avid blogger, specializing in transparency regarding
marriage, parenting, and life in general. I love Jesus, adore Brene’ Brown,
appreciate sarcasm, and swear more than my husband. Our family motto is “Be the
Blessing” and we actively work together at encouraging others and laughing hard
every day. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>I believe Leadership happens by intentional example. I have
served in multiple leadership positions since I was 16 (roughly 1,000 years
ago). I love audiobooks on leadership and drive my family crazy with reminders
they make an impact – positive or negative – wherever they go with quotes like
“Your response is your responsibility.” “Did you communicate blessing with your
words or actions?” and “Speak Life, Damnit!” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>I look forward to growing personally and professionally in
the process of completing my degree. This class looks like it will bring up great
revelation and stir up things I’ve learned in the past that have been dormant
for decades. </i><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<br />
Now, last week I managed to get 9/10, 25/25, and 40/40. I anticipate I am not likely to repeat this glorious miracle due to my inattention to the APA style of formatting required. I just can't seem to wrap my brain around it. In the meantime, I celebrated Christmas early with my people tonight, had a celebratory dinner, finished up the last week of their schooling by taking a zillion pictures, attending festivities, hosting a Christmas party for the boys friends and their parents (I highly recommend this), and somehow managing to wrap, mail, and only be stressing over about 20 Christmas cards I still haven't sent yet. So, I am hoping that this assignment, even if I bomb it can be counteracted by brilliance in the next few weeks. I'm not holding my breath... but I do love the class and being in school again!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihOYYlN-uG5kgHsvFK32-ZAQ4IITilJ-ciXjN0Eb35UkPvhi8oclPHgliVHLJ5RNm-dj95JG8y82giUgGhGnPxwaNn8z4swt0c063yPqeOQxfbwXZ8ExHlCN-rfg4qcLGBC-4ebgacDXv8/s1600/IMG_0498.MOV" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihOYYlN-uG5kgHsvFK32-ZAQ4IITilJ-ciXjN0Eb35UkPvhi8oclPHgliVHLJ5RNm-dj95JG8y82giUgGhGnPxwaNn8z4swt0c063yPqeOQxfbwXZ8ExHlCN-rfg4qcLGBC-4ebgacDXv8/s320/IMG_0498.MOV" width="179" /></a><br />
I spent the WHOLE day with my family yesterday. Sitting in a not-cozy lodge at the top of a gorgeous mountain and soaking up my people and our friends. It was a gift. Just being. I was supposed to download some school work, but it didn't work so I colored instead. Most inspiring moment: Watching my Love choose to learn something new. After 45 years on skis he got on a snowboard! I was crazy proud, made our friend promise not to break him, and loved being there to witness the choice, the lesson (some of it, at least) and the post effort pains of learning a new physical skill after 40...<br />
<br />
This week was MESSY, but soooo worth it. I certainly sent my fair share of PLEASE PRAY texts to my tight few who slay dragons in the heavenlies for me on a regular basis. We also had some gut crunching belly laughs, smart ass brilliance, and quality conversations.<br />
<br />
Merry Christmas!<br />
Stay MESSY my Friends!Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-25215396847910326942018-12-20T23:56:00.000-08:002018-12-20T23:57:18.109-08:00Five Minute Friday: WITH YouThe last <a href="https://fiveminutefriday.com/2018/12/20/fmf-link-up-with/" target="_blank">Five Minute Friday</a> post for the year and I apologize for missing last week. It was my first week of school and I couldn't catch up with myself or my schedule!<br />
<br />
But this week, I am WITH you...<br />
<br />
I am wired to be WITH you. Not just beside or near you.<br />
<br />
WITH you means: to be in the muck, the joy, the stench, the party, the gang, the depths, I'll be WITH you there. I am not afraid, it is part of who I am.<br />
<br />
I know that is how God is, for me. WITH me. I don't want to be God for you. YIKES! Five minutes with me, my busted verbal filter and my crazy non-conventional faith and you'll be confident that I am not!<br />
<br />
However, I know how to be WITH you because I've learned that being WITH someone in a pleasant or even dreadful place, is sacred. I wrote to a friend recently that she needed time to grieve. To soak in the pain and process it, regardless of the people around her ready for her to "move on" or "look at what you do have".<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi63bb24i9HAQY5LanVGLlfTXCir4qLACiaFBAr5gAVQsbBfLR09KUesMonqEe7SBLHP_uAJAwqrhli0qW2TXmTbmzogo47fkyxS5zRiFbBHEyFzFJOo5DxtZWTUeSLn9i4Q5l8aHXVA_Pt/s1600/IMG_2329.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi63bb24i9HAQY5LanVGLlfTXCir4qLACiaFBAr5gAVQsbBfLR09KUesMonqEe7SBLHP_uAJAwqrhli0qW2TXmTbmzogo47fkyxS5zRiFbBHEyFzFJOo5DxtZWTUeSLn9i4Q5l8aHXVA_Pt/s320/IMG_2329.JPG" width="240" /></a>Sometimes the discomfort of being WITH people in their misery, grief, tragedy, despair can be scary - like it might get on you too. Sometimes it does. The remedy is the same. Showing up and being WITH someone is a sacred act of love worth doing. Because, after all, Love is something you DO.Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-45578691880948891362018-12-10T23:49:00.004-08:002018-12-10T23:54:36.007-08:00Messy Monday: Listen Closely, They're Worth It<br />
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When your kid has a meltdown, what do you do? Do
you shut it down? Send them to their room? Hear them out? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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My Love and I work hard to hear them out. We
attempt to listen between the lines for their heart struggle beyond the extreme emotions being expressed. The temptation to shut them down because the timing of their meltdown is inconvenient or annoying can be hard to resist. We believe the act of choosing relationship with them, even when they are “messy” is
a consistent conscious effort worth making. They each have legitimate stress in their lives putting excess pressure on them. It is no wonder it
falls out, at the end of a long day or in the early morning worries. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All
three of our sons have been bullied, belittled, and told they make life harder
for the people around them. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The crazy thing is, most of the people communicating this are
ADULTS. It’s shocking how many adults don’t want to accept responsibility for their
own behavior/decisions and put it off on kids. Our boys, who have been knocked unconscious by another kid, stalked relentlessly by a peer, and be targeted by
impatient teachers (often substitutes) for being themselves, are learning how
to be tough AND kind. Protective AND respectful. Gracious AND holding someone accountable
for their actions.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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These challenges are not unique to them. We make that point
often. But, I pray, that by sharing this, someone will give an emotional teen
or pre-teen an opportunity to off load their stress, listen between the lines,
and be a supportive adult instead of expecting a kid to make things easier
on the grown up with decades more life experience and hopefully, maturity. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-27611041208243103642018-12-07T10:07:00.004-08:002018-12-07T10:10:38.858-08:00Five Minute Friday: BALANCE?!Today's <a href="http://fiveminutefriday.com/2018/12/06/fmf-link-up-balance/" target="_blank">Five Minute Friday</a> prompt is one I have wrestled with for years.<br />
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I have concluded: looking for, pursuing and seeking BALANCE is a waste of time.<br />
<br />
I've spent more time trying to do that than <b>being present</b>. <b>In</b> life. What I've found in trying to find BALANCE is I spend more time wondering/worrying if something I'm doing or not doing is the right thing. Spending time trying to find BALANCE is like standing in the middle of a teeter totter while kids, church, school, dog, neighbors, friends, family and whoever else, jump on and off of either side randomly and with varying intensity. That is not a wise place to stand, as far as I'm concerned.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1q5zwJrTxfyHtGMl2Q8-3VNjD2jGL5CncNGuZKjigImB5jvuV_3h69pwHZcrUfQ0OLzIiKo2eHfoJVtdEyK79slbK-NoxdWJVpmI0weKyZIJbcDnYa9ABf8sX-k7_gL8TiIDxPvhQ4J0N/s1600/teeter+totter+for+Dec+2018+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1q5zwJrTxfyHtGMl2Q8-3VNjD2jGL5CncNGuZKjigImB5jvuV_3h69pwHZcrUfQ0OLzIiKo2eHfoJVtdEyK79slbK-NoxdWJVpmI0weKyZIJbcDnYa9ABf8sX-k7_gL8TiIDxPvhQ4J0N/s320/teeter+totter+for+Dec+2018+blog.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwj_5NDJpo7fAhVpUd8KHShOBhUQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fshiloh1234625%2Fvintage%2F&authuser=2&psig=AOvVaw0XXKyFDI9Gr1adq2j03vzX&ust=1544292049064392" target="_blank">Snagged this from Google</a></td></tr>
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I'd rather be on one side, adjusting as needed to the ups and downs as they come, <b>being fully present</b> in what is - which I believe is way more valuable and effective not only for my heart and mind but for the people around me.<br />
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And then there's this...<br />
<br />
<h1 class="quoteText" style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>“I can confidently say that stories of pain and courage almost always include two things: praying and cussing. Sometimes at the exact same time.”</i> ― <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Braving-Wilderness-Quest-Belonging-Courage-ebook/dp/B06XFLFSRY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1544204350&sr=8-1&keywords=braving+the+wilderness" target="_blank"><span class="authorOrTitle" style="color: #333333; font-family: "lato" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Brené Brown, </span><span id="quote_book_link_34556334"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "lato" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone</span></span></a></span></h1>
This book changed me. It gave me permission to do exactly what I wrote above. My faith was strengthened, my trust in who God created me to be and what He built me to say was reinforced so I can be fully present, regardless of what happens, making the need for BALANCE irrelevant.<br />
<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-41594309995114172472018-12-03T11:19:00.001-08:002018-12-03T12:06:58.318-08:00Messy Monday: Who Determines Your Value Part 2<a href="https://livecourageouscoach.blogspot.com/2018/11/messy-monday-who-determines-your-value.html" target="_blank">Last week</a> I wrote about who I let determine my value in my youth. My parents and my two closest best friends were powerful components to me becoming who I am today. Like I said before, certainly not the only influences, but definitely transforming.<br />
<br />
I have had some incredible people surround me in my adulthood who have shaped my understanding of my value. When my Love and I moved to Idaho before our first anniversary I had no idea how my Idaho people would become a whole layer of family I never imagined possible.<br />
<br />
But, before that... I signed over my value to someone at the ripe old age of 20.<br />
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Back then I thought that was what you did. You lean in to the one you say "I do, forever til death do us part," and that's it. He's mine, I'm his, and that's the way God designed it to be. That is what I'd been taught, what I'd seen and all I knew. </div>
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The problem with giving your freshly appointed spouse the power to determine your VALUE is they don't know what it means when you do that. They don't realize what happens inside you when:</div>
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<ul>
<li>They get frustrated with you - YOU are wrong</li>
<li>They are hurt - YOU hurt them</li>
<li>They are unhappy - YOU are failing</li>
<li>They aren't getting what they want out of life - YOU are at fault</li>
</ul>
<br />
Sometimes, in marriage, we get frustrated, hurt, unhappy, and unfulfilled and blame each other. I believe that is a normal part of the adjustment of doing life together. And even, 27+ years down the road, I can say it still happens. The results aren't the same, but the feelings are real. Emotional and physical pain have a way of stripping us down even more.<br />
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When I gave my VALUE to him and left him in charge of how I saw myself, I set us both up for epic failure. And that's what happened.<br />
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Unfortunately those feelings, can lead to pushing back and dishing the same yuck out that we believe we've received. And sometimes it feels justified. Sometimes it might be. However, that is no way to live. That is only living "... for worse, til death do us part".<br />
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When I sat sobbing in our counselor's office 20+ years in, reeling from another trauma (I believe the stats are every 5-7 years - we have found that to be true) in our marriage, he asked me why I put my husband on a pedestal. I looked back, confused. What? My world just blew up, how did I have him on a pedestal?<br />
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It turns out, when you let someone (anyone, actually) determine your VALUE, you are elevating them beyond the heights they actually live, or can live up to.<br />
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Every time I left my VALUE to be determined by someone else, I experienced a crushing in my soul that left me with the limp I have today. I believe it is here to stay as a reminder to not give my VALUE away ever again.<br />
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I am a created being. Cell upon cell, doubling, exponentially increasing and a month late for my birthday. The One I call God, formed me. Spirit leads me now, in a way like never before, and my Jesus, the Lover of my soul, is more real now than I thought was possible.<br />
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After the implosion of every pedestal I put my beloved people on, I am moving forward with greater purpose and intention to LIVE my VALUE every day. I was created with VALUE, I have the opportunity to communicate this with my words and actions.<br />
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I am free to love and be loved. To treasure and be treasured. To cherish and be cherished. The pains of being in relationships no longer cause my VALUE to fluctuate.<br />
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Let me know if I can help you learn how to experience your VALUE for yourself.<br />
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Blessings!<br />
<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-47120890038037420492018-11-30T00:40:00.001-08:002018-11-30T00:40:23.999-08:00FMF: Courage To Go DEEPI am writing with the <a href="http://fiveminutefriday.com/2018/11/29/fmf-link-up-deep/" target="_blank">Five Minute Friday</a> posse of wordsmiths again. Gosh, I love these people. They comment encouragement and make me want to write more. It never feels competitive or judgmental. I am grateful for this Tribe.<br />
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DEEP is the word of the week. It took longer than five minutes to write, but I hope you will feel it is worth your time.<br />
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I took this picture in my backyard jungle (strawberry patch). We all love strawberries, even the dog!<br />
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Once the easy to grasp or chomp fruits on the periphery of the jungle/patch have been consumed, we have to dig DEEP for the hidden deliciousness, risking spiders, other crawly creatures, twisty vines and pokey weeds.<br />
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Sound a bit like life?<br />
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Where is the best, longest lasting, life sustaining sweetest fruit found?<br />
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DEEP in the grayish jungle/patch of feelings, thoughts, and longings for more. Where only the Brave, risk tangled vines, fanged multi-legged creepers, and prickly weeds in search of richly ripened fruit.<br />
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There are times when it doesn't feel worth the risk of getting poked, tangled in, or bit by an unknown crawly thing to grasp what will hopefully, maybe possibly, be tasty out of the grayish bleh.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6MQgbh_0vQiKz7ovCG2ybeCsaUlEz1WMEGe66Sox0gjiHF6lho4mpFvslnJw6H4dsK4jX24kk5f764hcIDDcfTgaoOXIsbceWVRJIqP4h5SRw1wI9m5JV6hxFc0jpl93az0_gwqn1zxea/s1600/DEEP+A+blog+Nov+2018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6MQgbh_0vQiKz7ovCG2ybeCsaUlEz1WMEGe66Sox0gjiHF6lho4mpFvslnJw6H4dsK4jX24kk5f764hcIDDcfTgaoOXIsbceWVRJIqP4h5SRw1wI9m5JV6hxFc0jpl93az0_gwqn1zxea/s320/DEEP+A+blog+Nov+2018.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
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I prefer to look for fruit that is easily found, recognized by glowing light, angels singing, butterflies flitting about while a unicorn grazes nearby.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSSFQb07ZwFc-sLkNXikXbO6KTKPYjdPjnbrRYpp23yjy0dSRrY_g3vuiGwANoLMbI9mSWvh0BUds9lFjTms73xpiHmWqVW8sJ4h_JjWu6lh72aQBAsrSh4w71UKGkQT6PITyh8QmPoib6/s1600/DEEP+O+Blog+Nov+2018+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSSFQb07ZwFc-sLkNXikXbO6KTKPYjdPjnbrRYpp23yjy0dSRrY_g3vuiGwANoLMbI9mSWvh0BUds9lFjTms73xpiHmWqVW8sJ4h_JjWu6lh72aQBAsrSh4w71UKGkQT6PITyh8QmPoib6/s320/DEEP+O+Blog+Nov+2018+%25282%2529.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
But, let's face it. The angel chorus fruit may be over-ripe and squish into our fingers leaving them stained, sticky, and attract flying stingers. It doesn't last long and it sustains nothing.<br />
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However, the hazy DEEP, pain-laden, belief-molting, theology-shredding places and seasons are worth reaching into. I've navigated enough of them that I am gaining strength in the coming out. Endurance and grace are in rich supply where the vibrant will to move forward fades to grayscale.<br />
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If you find yourself in that place or season, don't do it alone. Choose someone who will be in the DEEP with you, unafraid. They will bandage the pricks, bites, and untangle. They will breathe words of warmth in the frosty faded moments, weeks or months. They will be Spirit in flesh cautiously, tenderly, leading you out of the grayscale back to vibrancy.<br />
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You can go through the DEEP, find the freshest fruit, and flourish. It IS possible. Don't give up.<br />
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Hugs and prayers to you. I'm here if you need me.<br />
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<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-51082626336725545902018-11-26T17:05:00.001-08:002018-11-26T17:05:23.405-08:00Messy Monday: Who Determines Your Value? Part 1I talked about <a href="https://livecourageouscoach.blogspot.com/2018/11/five-minute-friday-value.html" target="_blank">VALUE in my Five Minute Friday post last week</a> and said I might bring it up again today because it is a HUGE part of what I believe changes and challenges to become the best people we can be. In becoming the best people we can be we need to keep in mind when and where we began to understand our value.<br />
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<b>Who Determines Your Value?</b><br />
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Is it someone in your family? A parent? A child? A spouse? A friend? A lover? An ex __ ? God?<br />
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If you were raised in a Christian home like I was, where having a relationship with God was discussed on a regular basis, your automatic response might be: "God is the one who determines my value." That's what I would have said.<br />
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Before.<br />
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Before my automatic response was assaulted by heartbreak, pain, lies, and exposure of things covered I didn't even think to look for.<br />
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The real answer comes in a long process; of discovering the things (and people) I'd given so much power to, so much of my value to, exposing the lies I believed about myself, and chronic pain in one form or another took a toll on my belief systems, and left me with a limp in my core. And I'm okay with that.<br />
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This limp I have, this is how I see you. How I hear you. How I come to know you.<br />
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I could start at the first place I knew my value was determined - My parents. But that would make for a long story. My parents weren't perfect, but they loved me, loved my sister and loved each other, even when it was ridiculously painful and hard to do so.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMS18xeeA-AJ5z591G-21CeNtUqBbEmobHUnEFjPFvwABssED476-KLrXngttEoSsJHLixummzkuew9B0u49_WHpSWgnmGzvisKgLrbzyE1h79nk4NFa0Hp5B-JXalk1NSswE1mbnnXGV0/s1600/IMG_9759.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMS18xeeA-AJ5z591G-21CeNtUqBbEmobHUnEFjPFvwABssED476-KLrXngttEoSsJHLixummzkuew9B0u49_WHpSWgnmGzvisKgLrbzyE1h79nk4NFa0Hp5B-JXalk1NSswE1mbnnXGV0/s320/IMG_9759.HEIC" width="320" /></a>I had one constant friend who was strong, opinionated, cared about me, had parents that cared about me, and I let her take the lead in my value determination for a season (it was never her intent, I didn't know it either, at the time). This relationship stands out from the others because it was consistent.<br />
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Our almost 40 years of friendship remains intact and I treasure it now more than ever before. We had the backdrop of horses and horse shows, The Police (the band) obsessing, stirrup pants wearing, spiked hair styling, and parents who passionately loved us both. We grew together, we grew apart, we grew up and we talked then and now about the REAL life challenges we face along the way.<br />
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Here is what I learned from her: <b>Don't quit. Don't be afraid. Details matter. No one but me should determine my value. </b><br />
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Another key person to shape my value was a boy friend who became a boyfriend. Hanging out, talking late and cracking each other up, we were buddies. It seemed like we both knew the "right people" at school but didn't quite fit in, but we always fit together. I loved his family. He loved mine.<br />
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Once in college, a horseback riding accident of mine alerted him to deeper feelings and we became a couple. He was the first guy, besides my Daddy, to make me feel like I was a treasure to be protected and loved. We were a great team, friends forever for sure, but I didn't believe I would be good enough for him. It was sad. We were used to leaning on our friendship, and while we still cared deeply for each other we knew moving on was important.<br />
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Now, we're friends, from a distance. The kind of distance that is proper for both of us who have been married over twenty years to other people. I have tremendous peace the right choice was made, but sometimes, when the right song comes on, I can flash back to he and I in the "banana-mobile" rocking out over the healthy loud rumble of its motor.<br />
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What I learned from him: <b>You can be a badass and be kind </b>(he was an athlete AND a nice guy).<b> I deserve to be respected. Relationships are better when they start as friends. Don't give up.</b><br />
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I had several other wonderful friendships during these seasons of life, but when I looked back on WHO shaped my understanding of my value, these two were key. I challenge you to write down what you learned from at least two of the people who were powerful influences in your life before you turned 21.<br />
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Are you wondering how I ended up with a limp in my soul? Tune in next week for Messy Monday: Who Determines Your Value Part 2.Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-39252718211121610022018-11-23T20:41:00.000-08:002018-11-23T20:41:14.576-08:00Five Minute Friday: VALUEThe <a href="http://fiveminutefriday.com/2018/11/22/fmf-link-up-value/" target="_blank">Five Minute Friday Prompt</a> today is VALUE. This topic is dear to my heart. I may revisit it on this week's Messy Monday because this key piece of self awareness can change your ability to love the life you live.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-RShCewDhjB9j9c7YC-dxubVVbtlJoF5E_pT5tRY29Lx_xJmkgg6lKSq7Ayf9fAbBu_Eq07PzgNx-U1pCDHeyeBdJrA9Owv4EJu3OPDWoUxKfxT9Q0jicE6glesN5It0gKdQxIEaCV4vK/s1600/DSC_0001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-RShCewDhjB9j9c7YC-dxubVVbtlJoF5E_pT5tRY29Lx_xJmkgg6lKSq7Ayf9fAbBu_Eq07PzgNx-U1pCDHeyeBdJrA9Owv4EJu3OPDWoUxKfxT9Q0jicE6glesN5It0gKdQxIEaCV4vK/s320/DSC_0001.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">People are rose petals in the grass of life. <br />Your VALUE is vibrant (even if you didn't get out of bed today)!</td></tr>
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Do you think your VALUE increases or decreases based on what you do or don't do?<br />
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1) Do you wonder if you were only different/better the people around you would be happier?<br />
2) Do you feel lost or anxious when you aren't accomplishing something?<br />
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What do you do about it?<br />
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1) Make a mantra you can recite every time you feel like you have little to no VALUE.<br />
For example: "I have great value because I am loved and I love others."<br />
2) Ask yourself if your friend or family member did/didn't do what you you did, would you talk to them the same way you talk to yourself?<br />
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Most of us grow up believing our VALUE fluctuates based on what we do or don't do. I'm here to tell you <u>it does not</u>. How do I know? The Creator says so. I don't have time to elaborate since my 5 minutes are up, but this is something I know based on decades of experiences of being loved and loving others.<br />
<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-7696158913026602492018-11-18T18:48:00.000-08:002018-11-18T20:25:34.382-08:00Messy Monday:Big Purge, Mom's Depression, and Picking Up<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKewphXJqOmlf0TvBk9fbZDnyeTi0M4Caz83Zc-KBU1E4jT31eK58QbWjMEL-8oVqKWVFxv85vXqFe9bgsZp_mnQN32UY_WsvFNbsHSq3Ip7dSnxvi73PCDOG2ZOICKLz_VoOb9Ve3MSm0/s1600/IMG_0184.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKewphXJqOmlf0TvBk9fbZDnyeTi0M4Caz83Zc-KBU1E4jT31eK58QbWjMEL-8oVqKWVFxv85vXqFe9bgsZp_mnQN32UY_WsvFNbsHSq3Ip7dSnxvi73PCDOG2ZOICKLz_VoOb9Ve3MSm0/s320/IMG_0184.jpg" width="240" /></a>Messy Monday includes a lot of mess this week. I have spent huge chunks of time this past week, conquering the stomach flu and a head cold, getting rid of a crazy amount of unnecessary paperwork and purging bins of "special" items.<br />
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<b>Big Purge:</b> My sweet Sophie was not grateful for my attention being divided between her and all the stuff. She walked on it, through it, and lay down in the middle of it several times.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUy454zH5wbj3-eIyfceDDy6EEqsrDLCmDQXxnZg_MRrsGOzrTg3oupLVNyY36QcQ6bCDsnHQ8FvQygqPcyeYmAsdXxF5oScaFo4-tZ-kjfM7K2sM8vc4l9XFTjTccWSgxEn2GJU1f0bFo/s1600/IMG_0177.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUy454zH5wbj3-eIyfceDDy6EEqsrDLCmDQXxnZg_MRrsGOzrTg3oupLVNyY36QcQ6bCDsnHQ8FvQygqPcyeYmAsdXxF5oScaFo4-tZ-kjfM7K2sM8vc4l9XFTjTccWSgxEn2GJU1f0bFo/s320/IMG_0177.jpg" width="240" /></a>Going through old paperwork brings up the past fairly effectively. My letters of recommendation, a letter of termination, an annual report I wrote for the county commissioners, a letter of "forgiveness" from someone who held me responsible for something I didn't do, and medical documentation of my 75 day and 145 day migraines.<br />
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There were love notes from my kids, hubby, parents, etc., countless notes I've taken from classes and sermons, certificates of completion, notebooks, journals, and cards - I cannot bring myself to throw cards away. It seems ridiculous. Until I read a letter written by my grandmother when I was in college. She died many years ago. I love seeing her handwriting, hearing her heart for me, and savoring the memories. So, the cards and letters get kept.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPygc_n-f4F9W3Dy4hKvR0y0eIsZVouczK-u__nKfFFsl-5s8ObXgIazZAVc9IKNs0sjTDbXlg9f4dSr5Imfo4gPHc2M6v7GvzwyMquM4GKarz7fVO1ue7UbrRF53SRDv4Nezl0JxssPC6/s1600/IMG_0174.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPygc_n-f4F9W3Dy4hKvR0y0eIsZVouczK-u__nKfFFsl-5s8ObXgIazZAVc9IKNs0sjTDbXlg9f4dSr5Imfo4gPHc2M6v7GvzwyMquM4GKarz7fVO1ue7UbrRF53SRDv4Nezl0JxssPC6/s320/IMG_0174.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
Special Items that got tossed- this handmade middle school kiln fired art that hung in my grandparents house from 1982-2017. I took this picture. Then, I threw it away.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYL4vHFcaVOS0H50vXaE9M3PE-xvHa5ItlHlLkYIbdPXaymDumLBzKwSmWDtHHVF0Ofm64cy5daO5iJHXYPyXYouqRrH54MjciAJY1xgQlb4-QPOSuQqJYmAafqeI05kcjv08s9VSTEhlo/s1600/IMG_0180.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYL4vHFcaVOS0H50vXaE9M3PE-xvHa5ItlHlLkYIbdPXaymDumLBzKwSmWDtHHVF0Ofm64cy5daO5iJHXYPyXYouqRrH54MjciAJY1xgQlb4-QPOSuQqJYmAafqeI05kcjv08s9VSTEhlo/s320/IMG_0180.jpg" width="240" /></a>And coupons. I am a coupon hoarder. The amount of coupons I have had to throw away because they expired is soooo lame. Like this one...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheZRFC_Dremb-OOpKGnSAgn0LSdTtVKJ4_Ve_3ofBRczGZytUcdtKriCXUIYQNW5yD9jnVmxEKpGfII645FvMJvveCabBnrMblcUhrxRhNMCqtTV0UGdJVW1IU301JDN-doSYQpPWUVLe7/s1600/IMG_0179.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheZRFC_Dremb-OOpKGnSAgn0LSdTtVKJ4_Ve_3ofBRczGZytUcdtKriCXUIYQNW5yD9jnVmxEKpGfII645FvMJvveCabBnrMblcUhrxRhNMCqtTV0UGdJVW1IU301JDN-doSYQpPWUVLe7/s320/IMG_0179.jpg" width="240" /></a><b> Mom's Depression:</b> I found this. I am not sure what kid made this, but, having spent most of their lives battling depression, it makes me sad and blesses me at the same time. Depression is real. It affects the whole family. I ache over the fact that my littles felt like they had to remind me to be happy. But, it was so sweet of them. Many times they comforted me. It's a hard thing to admit or look back on. But, it is their history, their reality, their past. I am glad I finally got the help I needed to make it their past and not their future with me.<br />
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<b>Picking Up:</b> See my shoes? My laptop cover? Yeah, I leave them out. My kids don't put their shoes away unless their Dad tells them to. I can't bring myself to always put stuff away. Pathetic but true. When wives complain about how they have to clean up after their husbands all the time, I almost feel bad that my Love is the one who usually picks up after me. Almost.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ_mZvH5WNBpQkuk1Y0k72npv3sz5mvIF_cha9ZPLEVsHqCfAVgxv6Y2oxTKk4K1M2VWQaJE3Q4R64n_A_nx90KIy42uhtKjHq9HgnLQIasgvNW3p8AiiYLn8QoSExNOC5sHxYaSyAGrKF/s1600/IMG_0186.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ_mZvH5WNBpQkuk1Y0k72npv3sz5mvIF_cha9ZPLEVsHqCfAVgxv6Y2oxTKk4K1M2VWQaJE3Q4R64n_A_nx90KIy42uhtKjHq9HgnLQIasgvNW3p8AiiYLn8QoSExNOC5sHxYaSyAGrKF/s320/IMG_0186.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-90423489764144934022018-11-17T00:10:00.001-08:002018-11-17T00:12:31.933-08:00Pick ONE<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="http://fiveminutefriday.com/2018/11/15/fmf-link-up-one/" target="_blank">Five Minute Friday time</a>! This time last week was beyond rough, but it got better and I used the word from last week - <a href="https://livecourageouscoach.blogspot.com/2018/11/messy-monday-goal-setting-sharing.html" target="_blank">Burden - in my Messy Monday blog</a>. </div>
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This week's prompt is the word ONE. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPmLY3eu-DvQQ5cd3ta1kGPfdnVC5JcsOMERvaGTEaxk6kGMd_bRTdjuKbFGbaevyrvTbXfLwYGE06ExKT6dyGZ-mtFZoeCga47Y2EPEvg8Gz2dv1DDJWCGDFo38dvvdyyYF9wV0xw5yqL/s1600/IMG_0163.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPmLY3eu-DvQQ5cd3ta1kGPfdnVC5JcsOMERvaGTEaxk6kGMd_bRTdjuKbFGbaevyrvTbXfLwYGE06ExKT6dyGZ-mtFZoeCga47Y2EPEvg8Gz2dv1DDJWCGDFo38dvvdyyYF9wV0xw5yqL/s320/IMG_0163.JPG" width="213" /></a>I wrote in last weeks <a href="https://livecourageouscoach.blogspot.com/2018/11/messy-monday-goal-setting-sharing.html" target="_blank">Messy Monday</a> about things that you can do when you are struggling and need to get focused on moving forward. But what if even <a href="https://livecourageouscoach.blogspot.com/2018/11/messy-monday-goal-setting-sharing.html" target="_blank">six small phrases or words</a> feels like too much? I have had more times in my life than I can count where even ONE thing feels like too much. <br />
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But what if you could pick just ONE thing to focus on. I found this on Facebook and I love it, But even that can seem like too much - especially if you are neck deep in trauma, grief, depression, anger, whatever overwhelming-life-sucking-breath-taking event you are walking through. Just pick ONE thing. If it feels like too much, pick something else. There are no real hard and fast rules to surviving the really hard stuff. Here are two things I do:<br />
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1) ONE thing I choose when I am flooded by life stuff -- drink more water. Silly right? Well, I remember as a kid my Mom answered for me to "drink more water" if I questioned her about any ailment. Now it has become a family giggle that I am passing on to my kids. </div>
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2) ONE other thing I've chosen in the past is sleep. Just to make sure I get eight hours of sleep. When I had little kids that wasn't possible -- see solution number ONE. (Wink)</div>
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<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-47506047656575953142018-11-12T15:16:00.000-08:002018-11-12T15:16:41.775-08:00Messy Monday: Goal Setting, Sharing Burdens, and Looking AheadThis week's Messy Monday will hopefully encourage you as we come into the holidays and begin a new year. You matter to me. That is why I write. Your heart, mind, body, needs are worth investing in. Other's have done it for me, so I write for you.<br />
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<b>Goal Setting:</b> I have experienced goal setting with no goals met, some goals met, and all goals met. I have learned over the years a few handy tips I will share with you:<br />
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<li>The 1-3-5 format has been the single most helpful strategy I have ever used. If you want a copy let me know. I learned to use it from my coach and long time dear friend <a href="http://www.terrygurno.com/" target="_blank">Terry Gurno</a>. </li>
<li>Set FUN goals, things that will stretch you in different ways. For example, my last remaining goal for 2018 is to buy a pair of fantastic red shoes. I am not a shoe-a-holic at all and deliberately choosing to buy shoes because I have always wanted a pair, happens to be a stretch for me. </li>
<li>Don't wait until January of the new year to set goals. NOW is the best time to not only set them, but achieve them. </li>
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If you want help, I can help you. Most people I know that achieve their goals work hard to do it, have people alongside them helping them reminding them their uniquely crafted purpose can be accomplished by no one else, and every goal set and met makes this happen. </div>
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<b>Sharing Burdens:</b> The messiness of life can make a person feel overwhelmed and overcome by feelings of inadequacy, failure, and insignificance. This can be remedied by sharing your burdens in these ways: </div>
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<li>Leaning into your faith. Wherever you are in your faith journey, lean in. If your faith is in God, lean there and pray, if it is in yourself, family or friends, lean there, regardless, you can't do it alone. </li>
<li>Trusted friends who can handle you speaking out your struggle without judgement and remind you of your value.</li>
<li>Collaborate with trusted resources. For us, in this season of life (sons in elementary, middle and high school), we work with school administrations, teachers, counselors, youth pastors, and others who have navigated this season ahead of us. </li>
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Don't hold your burdens close to your chest like a hand in poker. Bluffing your way through life or knowing you hold all the cards everyone else needs is equally unhelpful to you and those around you. </div>
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<b>Looking ahead:</b> The rules of horseback riding - Eyes up, shoulders back, heels down. <u><b>Where you look is where you'll go.</b></u> My best friend and I went riding together all the time. She rode her quarter horse and I rode her little black Welsh pony named Licorice. That little thing dumped me more than once. Sometimes it was because I was looking down, hunched over, or had my legs bunched up. Sometimes I ended up looking down as I headed face first into the street/dirt/shrubs. Life feels like that, even if you don't have far to fall. </div>
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One of the most powerful things I learned during my years in the saddle was what happens to my body when I look forward. My core holds me upright and centered, while the rest of me settles, softens, and becomes fluid with the movements of the horse. I haven't been in the saddle in years and I still remember that feeling. I use that awareness when dealing with hard things from being in labor, writing, parenting, doing a triathlon, etc. </div>
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Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-75172937857980050012018-11-06T12:47:00.000-08:002018-11-06T12:50:14.798-08:00Peter's Thoughts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I never know what our kids are actually hearing - what their friends are saying, what the adults are saying, etc. We have only just started talking about Christmas at our house (mainly because I'm working that day), but our focus is Thanksgiving first.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDw5u5GDo68xXo6Ej2Riya-7o6jJt6iPbI_62G6scd6FU8ifHAJhszrdQ8qnBABOx0RTwiGLpc-PZw9MkhLXG1c1Jx-kRplGKFfSmmq5ztEQNONeQdwt8XL2n5gvGN2OJHmzanSUl6Zwn5/s1600/IMG_0047.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDw5u5GDo68xXo6Ej2Riya-7o6jJt6iPbI_62G6scd6FU8ifHAJhszrdQ8qnBABOx0RTwiGLpc-PZw9MkhLXG1c1Jx-kRplGKFfSmmq5ztEQNONeQdwt8XL2n5gvGN2OJHmzanSUl6Zwn5/s320/IMG_0047.HEIC" width="240" /></a>This morning, on the way to school, our youngest son, Peter started talking to me about something that was bugging him. I asked him to type it up in my "Notes" on my phone so I could share it.<br />
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I was pretty proud of his insight and I promise, I didn't solicit any of it. He said it, just like this:<br />
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"It's like Thanksgiving doesn't exist this year. Everyone is talking about what they are going to get for Christmas. Christmas is about giving.<br />
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Thanksgiving is about being grateful for what you have. But everyone wants more and everyone thinks Thanksgiving is not happening this year. No one talks about it.<br />
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I talk about giving in Christmas - the only two reasons I like Christmas is because it is the day Jesus was born and getting to give to others."<br />
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We love our Peter-man so very much!Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-84613442315859257172018-11-05T20:46:00.002-08:002018-11-05T20:51:09.777-08:00Messy Monday: Midnight Messy, Dressin' Up and Way Beyond Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Happy Monday! It's late for me to be writing/posting this but I've been wrestling all week with what to say, again. I have lots of material, but I want to stick with the candid transparency I've committed to. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9f6d4Wg7cyFvk4wVCO3DF2iFIvOZdTRQUXcMS8jPPGcr7zlrzXED_6sw0zNDC_J4Z4JMuPpKKhQkt1umxG3UfY1zJLqwvuSvtgtNXxq7fKhFJM_5tyJFAmdk-7XLlPPjLj173WRpQkxXH/s1600/IMG_0048.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9f6d4Wg7cyFvk4wVCO3DF2iFIvOZdTRQUXcMS8jPPGcr7zlrzXED_6sw0zNDC_J4Z4JMuPpKKhQkt1umxG3UfY1zJLqwvuSvtgtNXxq7fKhFJM_5tyJFAmdk-7XLlPPjLj173WRpQkxXH/s320/IMG_0048.HEIC" width="320" /></a><b>Midnight Messy:</b> I haven't been sleeping much. The wee hours have been my solace and my thought sorting window. Once everyone goes to bed, I try to get my worries to clear like a passing storm and the stillness of the midnight stars center me to release the fear I've had whirling all day. But, not so much. The tidal wave of the day's stress pours over me. This cloud formation I saw this afternoon was the perfect picture of what it feels like. Except, in it, I can't see the blue sky on the other side. I haven't quite figured out how to navigate this. For now, I pray, read and color in my Bible, and wait. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijhvxuPpB1ankwhA4w0m6bIqajUM4qin6DNG5gnBnl9Jd-nX5ejCjRDGz1v-sNrCtN040DNkccb-oofYk94i_QeSb02Z_btrfLXrMAbUzMZV-3MOaoF0Aa_A9Hi2va_w1rrTS_rdfI8Ehm/s1600/IMG_0041.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1203" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijhvxuPpB1ankwhA4w0m6bIqajUM4qin6DNG5gnBnl9Jd-nX5ejCjRDGz1v-sNrCtN040DNkccb-oofYk94i_QeSb02Z_btrfLXrMAbUzMZV-3MOaoF0Aa_A9Hi2va_w1rrTS_rdfI8Ehm/s320/IMG_0041.HEIC" width="320" /></a><b>Dressin' Up:</b> Our guys have taken to dressing up lately. This is how they dressed for church yesterday and yes, I had to threaten them to get them to smile and play nice for the picture. They are becoming their own men. Choosing to wear ties, nice polos and do their hair. We have never been the "boys in suits and ties" kind of parents. Button ups and good jeans or khakis have been our rule of thumb from the beginning. This is what they want. We don't know exactly who they are becoming but when and where we can we work to support whatever process they are in, now. </div>
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<b>Way Beyond Me:</b> I've said before, this whole parenting thing is frigging hard. </div>
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<li>Shut up and let them learn from their mistakes, </li>
<li>Stay close and hear what's not being said even if the voice yelling at you (yes, that's allowed at our house - shocking for some, volume alone is not an indicator of disrespect in our opinion) is off-loading what seems like nonsense,</li>
<li>Be present for their process but not control it,</li>
<li>Listen with my body language - don't fold arms across chest or turn away, stay open, accessible,</li>
<li>Ask hard questions and be patient if the answer is not what was expected,</li>
<li>Don't make it about me - impatience and anger are BIG indicators that my discomfort outweighs whatever is going on with them,</li>
<li>Know it will pass - some of it will be missed, some of it will bring a wave of relief it's over</li>
<li>Make peace with not having all the answers or doing it "right". </li>
<li>SHOW UP - full attention on them, eye contact, SMILE.</li>
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I'm in the middle of learning this stuff. I am letting you in on how "Beyond Me" this feels. This song, I sing it almost every day, an anthem to my inadequacy that includes the reminder God is with me in this. WITH us. PRESENT. It's OKAY for most of life to feel like it's way Beyond Me.<br />
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Join me. Let me know what you need. We are in this life together. </div>
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<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8187713827518135087.post-85157597983850050592018-11-01T19:22:00.004-07:002018-11-01T19:22:47.197-07:00Words Worth REPEATing<a href="http://fiveminutefriday.com/2018/11/01/fmf-link-up-repeat/" target="_blank">Five Minute Friday</a> again. It was nice to take a break for a day from blogging now it's time to write again!<br />
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Today's prompt is REPEAT.<br />
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Some words are worth REPEATing. Like this verse for example. It's a very clear declaration from God:<br />
I HAVE made you.<br />
I WILL carry you.<br />
I WILL sustain you.<br />
I WILL rescue you.<br />
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That's something God communicated.<br />
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What do you communicate REPEATedly?<br />
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You are NOT...<br />
You'd better...<br />
You should... (I personally hate this one the most)<br />
You CAN...<br />
You ARE...<br />
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God's Words are powerful. Our words are powerful.<br />
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Should people REPEAT what you say? The honest answer for me is -- mostly.<br />
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<br />Jennifer - Live Courageous!http://www.blogger.com/profile/16973150803451001138noreply@blogger.com6