Do You Live Like You're LOVED?

I'm writing with the Five Minute Friday peeps that I adore. What an amazing community to be a part of!

This week's word prompt is LOVED.

This is immediately what came to mind after the month I've had:

This month I've had a lot of opportunities to focus on my faults and shortcomings (I have that opportunity daily, but some months are more intense than others). The specifics are unnecessary to share, but the fact remains - I am changed.

To live LOVED is different than trying to get love. When I live LOVED I don't have expectations of returned love. I don't need it. I already know I am LOVED. When I'm trying to be seen, appreciated, acknowledged, then any attempt others make to love me falls short. No amount of love, time or attention can compensate for the black hole created by my trying to get love and prove that I can or should be LOVED.

These are the opportunities that presented themselves.
To choose anger instead of grace.
To embrace pain instead of hide under the bed with my dog.
To push back on alarm with faith or freak out and go back under the bed.
To let heartbreak submerge me or lean in to the relationship.
To give back what I have been given or withhold in resentment.
To speak freedom and life or shame and condemnation.

Honestly, I did a bit of all of the above. Except climb under the bed - there just isn't room. When I was able to choose (moment by moment) to believe how LOVED I am, I could eventually (I am not perfect!) choose grace, embrace pain, find my faith, lean in, give, and speak life. It wasn't pretty, easy or fun. But, it happened - messy, uncomfortable, and stressful. The challenges remain, but so does my great big God who reminds me through nature, beauty, people, animals, and circumstances beyond my understanding that I am LOVED.

Wonder WOMAN

Yes, her.
This is my favorite superhero.

The Five Minute Friday prompt is WOMAN this week and SHE is the first one that came to mind. What I love about her: She doesn't give up.

We are surrounded by Wonder Women. The exhausted mom wandering the grocery store with toddlers hanging from the "car cart". The checker at that same store who has the power to encourage or dissect this dear warrior with a few choice words. The woman in the next aisle who hears the hysterical pleas for cookies (they never beg for carrots do they?) and casts judgement or prays a blessing over the distressed little and the mama.

We have the opportunity to see the Wonder WOMAN in our midst. She's probably not 6'2", a size 0 and dressed in red, white, and blue. She's possibly in yoga pants, a messy bun, yesterday's mascara under her eyes, and stains on her favorite t-shirt. Or she could be rocking the wedge heels, tidy capris, with classy accessories to go with her favorite shirt that makes her feel like a movie star.

Every WOMAN has a hero inside them. We don't know what they've survived, conquered or slogged through in the last 10 minutes, 10 days or 10 years. Let's see them. Encourage them. Remind them not to give up - especially the one in the mirror.

Stop.

Five Minute Friday - DONE (on Saturday)

I'm finally gathering a few moments to post with the Five Minute Friday Bunch. This week's word is DONE. I've been pondering what to write on this word. So many possibilities.

GO.

I've been DONE before. Finished with the fight and struggle. I've cried out for help, I've had surgery, I've done naturopathic remedies, pharmaceuticals, (GASP!) CBD oil purchased at a pot shop, and another surgery.

But this, this season now, is a whole new place of DONE. After all I've come through thus far, I am DONE with these things:

Being afraid of what anyone thinks of me.
Trying to jump through the "right" hoops to fit "proper Christian" mold.
Expecting people to be different than they are at in any given moment (more GRACE!).
Wanting those closest to me to meet the needs that only God can.
Trying to fix circumstances instead of my perspective.
Trying to be acceptable.

The first six months of 2018 have stripped me clean of just about anything and everything I thought I had left in my own understanding.

Here's to spending the next six months being in the new place I've landed.

STOP.

Bonus words: I have been DONE with several of these things before, but during this six months I have gained a much different perspective that is wiser and downright refreshing. I will write about that too...