Friday, May 24, 2019

CULTURE of Pain ____________.

Linking up with my Friend Kate on Five Minute Friday this week. Our word prompt is CULTURE. Now, five minutes of minimal edits and maximum thoughts on CULTURE.

Do I want to cultivate a CULTURE of Pain Avoidance? or a CULTURE of Pain Endurance?

If I spend my life avoiding pain,
trying to minimize pain,
rationalize self-comfort from pain,
or any other escape from walking forward through life's pain,

Then how much can I really grow?
Or set an example for ones who are watching me, learning from my responses to pain?

When I endure the pain, embracing the challenge of walking through it - I get strong, wise, tenacious, committed and focused on growing, healing and changing as I persevere.

What if that became the CULTURE I cultivated at home, with my family, friends and co-workers?

Rise up, face pain head on, moving forward, reaching for the other side -

The resolution of perseverance - becoming peace and freedom.

My experience has taught me, when I acknowledge and embrace pain I have more energy to learn and grow than I do if I spend all my energy running, coping, denying, or actively covering my pain.

Now, it's your turn to decide:

Do you want to cultivate a

CULTURE of Pain Avoidance?

or a

CULTURE of Pain Endurance?

My personal recipe for cultivating a CULTURE of Pain Endurance.

Friday, May 10, 2019

PRACTICE the Basics - Five Minute Friday

I'm writing with the Five Minute Friday bunch today.

The prompt is PRACTICE.

I am having a hard time getting back into shape. I spent the past 11 months recovering from a migraine that almost killed me. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I have changed forever because of it. I am not sure the changes are good or bad. They just are. More on that another time.

PRACTICE the basics - Walking. Walking is good. It's boring. Unless I watch for beauty. But, it doesn't freak me out. Hopefully swimming will be a blessing soon too. In this place of PRACTICE I have had to give myself permission to slow down.

I learned in a Mental Health First Aid class something that brought an enormous revelation for me. If panic attacks have been a part of your life (they have) then the feeling of getting your heart rate up to get a good workout going can feel as awful as a panic attack.

I have to PRACTICE walking, building endurance and reminding myself over and over again that I am doing this by choice, I am okay, and everything is okay.

I am not a fan of this. I kind of resent it. I used to pound out a crazy hard workout and love it. Now, I have to work my way S-L-O-W-L-Y back into shape.

Monday, April 8, 2019

Messy Monday: Fear SUCKS!

the joy
the peace
the hope
the energy
the vision
the purpose
the focus
out of life.

I woke up with what felt very much like a nightmare this morning. I've studied dream interpretation for years so I am still sorting out the message in it. I know there is one, but for now, I'm using it to get back to my Messy Monday blogging.

Things are going pretty great right now.

And I am scared!

I have become so used to navigating shocking, painful, and challenging life, that I am struggling deeply with the reprieve.

I don't trust the rest.

Living with clinical depression with a side order of obnoxious levels of anxiety forces a hyper-vigilance that when there is a reprieve, I'm left floundering for something to freak out about.

Ridiculous waste of rest.

Experience tells me things will be hard again, in one way or another, because the normal ebb and flow of life happens that way. The irony is, just a few weeks ago I was talking with a friend who struggles with similar things and I was encouraging her to just rest and be.

I can look at this season as a temporary stay of execution fretting over impending doom yet unknown, or I can look at it like recess, an opportunity to take a break from the growing, learning, and stretching, to play hard, laugh more, and make space for resting and being present in this moment.

I pick recess!
I took my big guys on an overnight getaway during their spring break.
The sun shined so we put the top down on the convertible
and soaked up the rays, even though it was a bit chilly.