Life under PRESSURE

I had a Covid-19 test positive on November 23, 2020. Since then so much has changed inside my body, I don't have time to list it all. And no one really wants to know the details.

The PRESSURE of performing to the standard of what I was before I got sick is constant. Real or imagined (with a side order of mom guilt, of course), I fight all day to do what I once did (without even thinking about it), fight back the anxiety that comes when I realize I can't, fight forward for the positivity I know will get me through the day with the best outlook I can, and fight against the flashes of Covid-19 related PTSD that can (and at times, do) become crippling and shut down the whole day. 

There are two key components in my fight against this PRESSURE. 

Jesus and Oola (website link). 

Jesus- My faith has given me what I need to navigate treacherous mental and emotional waters in the past, so I lean in like I always have, holding on tight to the One I know Who holds my past, present, and future. 

Oola (What is it- YouTube video)- is a new word to me in the past few weeks but it has brought fresh hope and freedom that floods me with belief that no matter what I am facing at any moment, there is a stability to be found in the practical pursuit of balance in my unbalanced life. I have often said balance is BS - there is NO way to do it. But, Oola has proven me wrong and continues to challenge that mindset. 

The PRESSURE of things feeling "off" is a constant I experience from the moment of waking to the moment of sleep. This morning, while trying to decompress from yelling at my kid from my exhausted state, a panic attack, and my phone filling with text messages of things to do, I put my Oola (link to audio book on Audible) audio book on to center my focus on what I can do, today, to move forward with being me, today, right where I am, struggles and all

. 

There is PRESSURE all around us about who and what we should do and be. Sometimes, it gets to me, but now, more frequently than before, I let it drive me forward, like catching a wave and riding it to the shore. 

If you want to know more about Jesus or Oola, let me know. They are both super rad! One saved my soul and life and the other is saving my mind and body. 

Five Minute Free Write: HOPE in What?

I have been pondering this prompt since late last night, contemplating HOPE and what it means - to me. And how to capture that in 5 minutes! Yikes! But, that's the challenge I'm leaning in to this month. Here I ...

GO. 

My HOPE is in God. Theology will only get a girl so far, I've found. Relationship, built over time in victories, losses, grief, celebrations, and struggle, that is where the rubber hits the HOPE road for me. Anyone can tell me what they think of God, the relevance, crutch, etc. but no words, attitudes or worries change what I know to be true by my own personal experience. 

I grew up in the church, yes, but again, like theology, it only got me so far. Sunday school, youth group, and retreats are great, but without my own encounters with God, it would not have done me much good. 

My HOPE is that you will be willing to have your own personal encounter with God. There is Love to be found that is yours to experience. 

STOP.

I drew this when I needed HOPE. It came out of an encounter I had with God. 

Writing with the Five Minute Friday group every day in October. 

Reality and 2018 Goal Setting

It's been a long year. 

Parenting sons with ADHD, Chronic Pain, and Tourette's Syndrome is a high intensity and often thankless endurance level race with no finish line. My heart hurts (with their struggles). My head hurts (from the mental endurance and research required to navigate all of this). My spirit is in fervent and constant contact with the only Resource I know has their best interests in mind. I cling to the verse, “The Lord is near to the heartbroken…” (Ps 34:18 AMP). The joy, peace, and hope are tangible too, a lovely part of being near to the One who holds us all in capable hands with limitless options and provision.

I am working as a writer/editor and coaching people to move forward in their personal and professional lives. My husband is launching a new business (Blue Sky Ballooning) as well as maintaining his full-time day job and all that entails. And parenting. A lot of parenting. Like, have nothing else on our plate except parenting. 

Our circles of friends have shrunken like grapes into raisins due to lack of mental, emotional, physical time and opportunity. Our agreement is that there is no one and nothing more important than being present and parenting these amazing people we've been entrusted with. 

We prayed and waited for over nine years to get pregnant and live this life. We are here. Now is the time. Everything else, for the most part, is on hold or in the background. The friends that support and encourage us are kept very near and the ones who we love but don't do frequent life with, we miss. 

We give each other breaks, tag team during intense moments, and check in with each other often to know when the other needs extra support. It isn't the seamless teamwork it sounds like. It is messy. Painful. It takes long talks, sometimes tempers flare and then more talking to process our next steps. Together. Staying near to God and to each other.

We make a point to connect when we feel empty of energy and frustrated by our situation knowing that we are better together in every way, even when drained.

Our goal is to raise Mighty Men. Guys who will accept responsibility for their lives, their actions, and their responses to circumstances. We are teaching them grit and tenacity by requiring them to dig deep and do the hard things they don't want to. We are involving them in our family hot air ballooning business because there is an amazing volume of education and challenge to glean in working hard, the science, skill, team work, and communication.

We practice speaking life. To each other. To the people in our paths. Because when things are hard, encouragement always helps, whether you are giving or receiving it. The boys’ favorite song together is “Speak Life” by TobyMac. They all know all the lyrics. You should hear them sing it. It’s amazing.

As I look at my goals from 2017, I realize I made more headway than I thought I did. As I consider my goals for 2018, I realize some of them need to carry over into the coming year.

I told you all of this to encourage you, as you look forward to 2018, set your goals based on who/what is most important to you. Consider the reality of your circumstances, but don’t let it be the ultimate and only indicator of how you set your goals. 

I spent the last 18 months working with a fantastic coach named Terry Gurno (terrygurno.com) who shared this format of goal setting with me. I enjoyed it and plan to use it again.

If you would like to see a copy of what my goals were for 2017, send me an email at jennifer@livecourageouscoaching.com

I’m still praying, evaluating, and considering for 2018.

Let me know how I can help you move forward. I am available online, by phone and skype as well as locally in North Idaho and Spokane, Wa. areas.

I only take a few coaching clients at a time, so be sure to contact me if you are interested so I can let you know what time(s) I have available. 

Being NEAR

This is a portion of a longer blog I will post later today. The Five Minute Friday prompt was so relevant to my world, I pulled a chunk for posting here. 

Parenting sons with ADHD, Chronic Pain, and Tourette's Syndrome is a high intensity and often thankless endurance level race with no finish line. My heart hurts (with their struggles). My head hurts (from the mental endurance and research required to navigate all of this). My spirit is in fervent and constant contact with the only Resource I know has their best interests in mind. I cling to the verse, “The Lord is NEAR to the heartbroken…” (Ps 34:18 AMP). The joy, peace, and hope are tangible too, a lovely part of being NEAR to the One who holds us all in capable hands with limitless options and provision.

Our circles of friends have shrunken like grapes into raisins due to lack of mental, emotional, physical time and opportunity. Our agreement is that there is no one and nothing more important than being present and parenting these amazing people we've been entrusted with. 

We prayed and waited for over nine years to get pregnant and live this life. We are here. Now is the time. Everything else, for the most part, is on hold or in the background. The friends that support and encourage us are kept very NEAR and the ones who we love but don't do frequent life with, we miss. 

We give each other breaks, tag team during intense moments, and check in with each other often to know when the other needs extra support. It isn't the seamless teamwork it sounds like. It is messy. Painful. It takes long talks, sometimes tempers flare and then more talking to process our next steps. Together. Staying NEAR to God and to each other. 

If you want to read the full length version of this blog, join me here or my website www.livecourageouscoaching.com It will be posted by 5pm today Dec 1, 2017. 

Being Brave and Living Courageous

I’ve loved the ocean and water my whole life. It’s been a part of the metaphors of my battle with Depression and my battle with my weight. The ebb (low intensity) and flow (high intensity), high tide (eyebrow deep), low tide (all open and exposed), and rip currents (stuff you don’t see coming but if you fight it you sink and drown).

I’ve hated my body since I started puberty in 4^th grade. Yes, that young.

I’ve been much thinner, and I’ve been fatter than I am now. Regardless, the wrestling match over my body weight has felt ridiculously long and obscenely consuming.

I’m listening to Sara Bareilles sing “Brave”. The lyrics have fed my soul since I heard it for the first time – a friend sent it to me as an encouragement in a deeply tragic and painful time. I forgot how powerful it is. Therefore, I write. Honestly. Letting you in on the process.

Continuing to fight, wrestle, wrangle the weight I lose and gain and will lose again takes courage. Facing the SHAME of the decades of dieting, lifestyle changes, workout routines, planning, preparing and careful grocery shopping, and even weight rebound gains after having 85% of my stomach removed requires me to be BRAVE.

See, I know now, after doing this for my entire adult life, that I don’t hate myself, I hate the FIGHT with my body. When I back off and let my guard or my intensity down the fat rises with the predictability of the rising tide.

Shit.

I know. Potty mouth.

Then I read this blog yesterday and I found all the answers.

Anywhere I look to you or anyone else for my value or identity is going to put me on a pendulum – swinging one way or another - trying to behave/live/be a certain expected/preferred/desired way. I’ve done the big “Bird” to the world before and said I don’t care, but I do. I always do.

I can’t be the only one struggling here. We all need hope. We all need to know victory is possible. If I don’t shoot for victory will you have the courage to? Maybe. Hopefully. I hope I’m not the ONLY one you look to for complete inspiration – yikes! But we should look to each other for hope, right?

And of course, some of the spiritual ones would quote the scripture from my beloved Bible that says, 

“Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:5 (Amplified version-one of my favorites).

But what if I AM disappointed?

I am no Bible scholar, so this is just me talking, I’ve hoped in God’s promises almost all my life. There must be nooks, crannies, hidden passages of my heart where the disappointments hide. The abundant Love washes through my heart but doesn’t penetrate the places I’ve tucked away to hide my hopelessness and disappointment.

So, what to do?

Do I invite Spirit who was given to me to pour through even those places? I have before. It’s happened. I’m not just typing. I truly KNOW it’s real. The healing Power is real. By my own doubts, I give in to the “feel”, but I don’t stand firm on the Truth I know. Again, the tide pushes forward, sometimes only splashing hard enough to shake my balance, and other times with such might that I’m leveled. Flooded. Pondering surrender to the whim of the “feel”.

There is no easy way out. No easy solution. I am what and who I am. I like me. I don’t find me ugly or disturbing. But I am SICK OF THE STRUGGLE. SICK OF THE SHAME. SICK OF THE GUILT.

In the past I would have curled up and cried and said, “I can’t” a lot. Now, I have too much to do and I’m angry that these current things are slowing me down. I’m angry about the energy it sucks from my life instead giving life.

Now, because I’ve learned to “Own It” (take FULL responsibility with no excuses) I’m focused on moving forward despite the waves crashing at my throat. I can swim in rough waters. I can hold my breath and wait to float to the surface. I can push through yet another wave - physical, mental, or emotional, to reach the oxygen and breathe, if I stay steady on Truth.

When I don’t, I go under again. Thrashing for the surface while gasping for air.

I started my company, Live Courageous Coaching because I knew I wasn’t the only one struggling, wrestling and tangling with areas where I feel like I can’t seem to get traction. Owning, running, and LIVING Courageous keeps me honest about who I am, where I’m going and how I’m getting there. One day at a time, no matter the tide.

Over My Head

For 38 days I have been dealing with a non-stop migraine. I've taken advice, been to ERs, spent the night in the hospital, shots in the butt, had full workups on my heart and head, natural medicine, acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, exercise, spiritual, psychiatric, emotional, you name it, I've done it. I still have another month to wait to see the headache specialist neurologist (yes, I'm on the cancellation list).

I couldn't see how my current situation reflected anything "courageous".
But then it occurred to me that sharing this might be:

Who I am -- Tenacious courageous woman hanging by the frayed end of the knot of my cope rope.
What I'm walking through --- Constant pain affecting every aspect of my ability to function
When - Every.single.day.
Where I am -- Desperately missing my life
Why - No one has ANY idea. There are literally thousands of thoughts, opinions and possibilities. I've heard most of them. It's too much. It will be figured out when it is. I'm working every angle and possibility that I have energy for at any given moment.

HOW am I going to deal with this?
Push through the pain.
Push away the pain medicine.
Push into hope.
Receive the help I've been given.
Receive the love provided for me.
Receive the purpose of this experience for strengthening not destruction.

To Live Courageous! is to NOT GIVE UP. To make a plan. To believe nothing awful lasts forever and even the good stuff may pass, but it will come again.

And to know that just because there is a setback, that doesn't mean you can't come back stronger, faster, smarter and better than you ever have been. I'm counting on it.

Live Courageous! means MOVE FORWARD

Over my head in migraine pain, longing, begging for answers, craving some sort of “normalcy” to return. What does courage look like in moments like these? I’m not exactly sure for every day, but for today I think it looks like:

Sticking with my super clean protein shake, coffee, water, chamomile tea, listening to a sermon preached by a friend, worship sent by another, advice from another, praying for others in deeper challenges than I am, and writing.

I am supposed to be training for the Half Ironman just a little over four months away and I still have yet to get a solid week of training in. Sick kids, sinus and ear infections, migraines, travel, you name it, it’s encroached upon my plans to meet this goal I’ve had for four years. Many don’t believe I can do it. Several want me to but aren't sure I can finish. Some are convinced I can do it, even this late in the training season. Others don’t want me to try. 

I choose to MOVE FORWARD. Because that is what I firmly believe changes things.
MOVE FORWARD.

I share all this with you, so you know, that when I choose to LIVE COURAGEOUS! it’s not because it’s easy for me either.

Find one way you can MOVE FORWARD today and list it in the comments below. I will cheer you on!

Blessings and love!
Jenn

Living Courageous Even When the Darkness Lingers

I know I'm still in a "low" when I can't sleep at night. 

It started after my babies - in that season when you finally get them to sleep and get comfortable enough to go to bed and they wake up. So I just stopped sleeping until I'd pass out, and then of course, they'd wake up again.

Now they sleep through the night and when I'm working through something I don't. Still. 

I wrote a 3 part blog called My Black Hole, then Part 2, and Part 3 in August/September of 2014. It was the most transparent I'd been about my battle with suicidal thoughts and clinical depression. 

Now, the revelations of that season bless me and comfort me. In Part 2 I talk about depression being like a rip current. How you can't fight it, you rest and slowly swim parallel to the shore. 

That's where I'm at right now. Swimming parallel to the shore knowing I will get back on the beach soon, In the past I had tremendous anxiety about getting back to shore, almost as much as as I had being out in the ocean. 

Today, I am peaceful, not fearful. I know what this feels like. I know it won't last. I know the Light in my tunnel. and I am confident I will not drown. I sense a deep work going on in my heart. A remodel of unknown detail taking place during this time of aching. 

I will get back in the pool tomorrow to continue my Ironman training and swim knowing the process in me is important to swim through. Savoring the process is KEY even if it is uncomfortable. 

To Live Courageous! is to embrace the process even in the darkness.

When Courage is Hard to Find

Writing from the low place today. I process while I type and I decided if I want you to be real with me I must keep it real myself. As a life coach I would think conventional wisdom would be to keep chin up, positive, “come on you can do this” type of blogging as the theme and keep the daily struggles to myself.

That just isn’t me.

Today has been painful. From many levels. Recovering from sinus and ear infections, memories of past pain flooding back, mothering three strong leaders and no marital bliss in sight.

My “Brand” is Live Courageous!

What if you don’t FEEL the courage anywhere inside of you?

What if you have a complete lack of gumption?

What if even the idea of Live Courageous! sounds like a lame joke heard over the radio as you sit in your pajamas for the 3^rd day with no vision for the future?

I know that feeling. On days like this I feel my own “Brand” mocking me.  It might be the fever and the stuffy head, but misery only amplifies the “owies” of life. Even if they are my own perception, they remain painful.

So, in with the tiniest shred of courage I push up the periscope from my dark place and look for hope above and beyond today. I find this:

It often feels like the learning curve of my life was designed to torture me with epic climbs. When I am aching in my chest from the altitude, the attitudes around me, and the actions of others I MUST find in the darkness a reason to grow.

Whatever blows up, blows over, blows around, my roots need to be deep enough to hang tight until tomorrow.

We never know what is coming tomorrow. It may be worse and the tools in the growth today give us the tenacity to hang on through it or if it is better there is a reprieve from the strengthening and growing process that the darkness brings.

My encouragement to you, from the dark place today, is hang on. Do what you must. Don’t take yourself or anyone else too seriously. And most of all, get some rest. Growing, darkness, and strengthening take lots of energy.

To quote a dear and very wise friend:

BIG FIRST

It may be Saturday, but I'm joining my fellow bloggers at Five Minute Friday.

This week's prompt is FIRST.

I was busy living my BIG FIRST yesterday 

so I had to wait to write about it until today.

Yesterday was fully loaded with resistance.

1) Firstborn pre-teen push back on every word out of my mouth
2) Youngest needed snack for entire class (I put a reminder in my phone but forgot anyway)
3) I didn't get ready for the day because of tangling with #1 and had a full day that required being put together.
4) I zip kids to school, go to store to get snack, zip home get put together as best I can, back to school for youngest's juggling performance.
5) Attend performance, video and clap.
6) Carefully navigating slushy snow and ice, I wipe out on the sidewalk going back to my car crashing on my knee that I wrecked last year skiing.
7) I have to go home and change clothes because I am now soaking wet.
8) I desperately want to cancel the rest of the day because of the mental exhaustion I feel already AND my knee hurts pretty bad.
9) Go home, change clothes, put on less slippery soled boots deciding for the FIRST time on a day like this that I am going to Live Courageous despite the desire to throw in the towel!

10) I make it to my first appointment and dial in to the  project/discussion we decided to tackle.
11) I drive to my next appointment, making it on time and enjoyed the time with a great friend.
12) I zipped over to the school because one of the boys needed money for something.
13) I'm seriously thinking I'm nuts to keep going with my knee rapidly swelling and my head beginning to pound.
14) I have to go home to get the paperwork for my next appointment because I forgot it earlier.
15) I am 5 minutes late to my next appointment but she was gracious and prayed for my headache and knee injury. By the time I left my head did not hurt. Until...
16) I'm avoiding ice on the steps and crack my head into a light fixture.
17) I miss dinner and head out to my class for the evening.
18) After class I grocery shop and I trip on my way in the house carrying a bag of groceries.
19) My husband grabs the rest of the groceries expressing concern for my knee.
20) I climb into bed thankful that I managed to push through, accomplish and even thrive pushing through a crazy hard bunch of events that could have sidelined me for the whole day.

Seriously, I had to choose to Live Courageous many times when all I wanted to do was curl up and quit. This was a BIG FIRST for me. BUT:

Being with the people, doing what I planned to do was worth fighting for yesterday.

It was worth it. ALL of it.

Why Live Courageous?

I Live Courageous! because

Two years ago, December 2013 I wrote THIS.

And to break out from that horrible place, one of the things I did was THIS.

Then I decided to learn to ski. 

COURAGE.

My first ski instructor had one leg. "Lefty". 

But then:
December 26, 2014 I wrecked my knee. I was practicing before my second ski lesson with my Love on the beginner hill. I fell and heard a pop. I assumed since I was over 40 my body would make noises when I was learning a new skill. I got up, fell, got up, crashed, got up, slid down the hill and decided to take the lift to the top and try some more. I fell down again. And again. This time he said it didn't even look like I was trying to stay upright. Turns out, I didn't have a ligament to stand on (I didn't know that yet). I kept at it until I hurt too bad to clip into my skis anymore.

Several weeks of crutches (while my Love had to travel for work), tests, evaluations, and an MRI, I had someone else's Achilles tendon (I am grateful for those who donate their parts when they don't need them anymore.) installed as my new anterior cruciate ligament (ACL). It was a major endeavor and required many hours, weeks, months of pain, stretching, physical therapy, etc. It essentially took over my entire life and I already had a busy one!

EVERY YEAR is going to require some amount of COURAGE. 

A few big things required me to Live Courageous! in 2015:


I worked hard to rehab my knee, including admitting I needed to do something to control my downward spiral into another bout of depression due to spending the winter on my butt and on crutches. Once you go into remission in clinical depression, it is extremely hard to admit you are sliding back into the hole. 

COURAGE.

I walked with my best friend through a breast cancer diagnosis, double mastectomy, reconstruction surgery, a new relationship, proposal and marriage. Keeping my head (and encouraging them even when I was afraid she would lose her life) focused on God and His provision for that season. 

COURAGE.

I did my fifth sprint triathlon - these pictures - posting them.

COURAGE. 

Best swim time ever.

Headed out on the bike ride.

About to cross the finish line!

And finally, I quit my job at a place I love with people I love to start a career doing what I love - COACH! 

COURAGE.


In 2016 I know COURAGE will be required of me to do these things: 

• Building a business actively cheering you to Live Courageous!
• Remaining transparent and professional - a delicate balance for me
• Training and Finishing the Half Ironman Coeur d'Alene June 26, 2016
• And... only God knows what else... 

I Live Courageous! because I want to squeeze every drop out of life. I've survived feeling stuck and I never want to feel that way again. 

Now it's your turn. 

Do you want to Live Courageous! ? 

What Courageous plans do you have for 2016?

Please answer one or more of these questions in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you!

Can I help you Live Courageous! ? Don't hesitate to email me  if you would like a free 30 minute consultation. My introduction rates will expire at midnight (PST) on January 1, 2016. I can Skype anywhere in the world, so don't let location put you off of moving forward. 

DWELL - Where Do You Long To Be?

I'm joining the Five Minute Friday writers this week. Our prompt: DWELL

The first thing that popped into my mind when I thought of this word was this verse:

"Forget the former things; do not DWELL on the past." Isaiah 43:18  

The former Me - in 2013:  

Since I started my business Live Courageous Coaching on the first of October this year, I have been challenged to walk the new path set before me. Self-employed life gives me regular opportunities to doubt my calling and retreat in my mind back to past misfires in my past. Then He beckons me to come into His presence and trust Him to give me the courage to stand in all He has provided in and through me for this new adventure. 

For the first time in my life I am living fully in my original design, conquering my long time battle with clinical depression, and meeting the temptation to DWELL on the past with fresh vision for the future not only for myself but for those I am coaching. 

The next verse says, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19

Many of my past experiences have left me feeling stuck in the wilderness or thirsty in the wasteland. 

Now, I am able to live the NEW thing where He is making a way. 

The new me - DWELLing in 2015:

Three Steps To Have A Superhero Day

More often than not:

I'm sure I can rock the day, the tasks, the relationships and the surprises arriving on my path. YOU can have days like that. Lots of them! 

Some days:

This funky specimen had the good fortune to be discovered on our way out the door to school. It was safe to slime it's way out of harm before my salt sprinkling experimenters caused it's untimely demise. 

Slug days, I slog along wondering what might squish, sprinkle or scorch my plans. Battling clinical depression most of my life, I know slug days well. A real slug is not brilliant enough to anticipate the pending disastrous possibilities, but since I feel comfortable admitting I am smarter than the average slug, I tend to go into the day focused on myself. How tired I am, how much I have to do, how naughty my kids are, how will I ever make a difference in the world... can you see the slime trail yet?

One might suggest these are two extremes and one should find a middle ground. Possibly. NOT!

Living a superhero day is easier than you think. 

Before feet hit floor we can choose! I have walked through some pretty nasty stuff and been able to find my superhero self by doing these three things:

1) Grab a hold of your thoughts. Our thinkers can squish us or spring us into the next minute, hour, or even the whole day. 

Andy Stanley says this and I have to remember to do it:

A friend gave me a mug I keep close by. This is how I remember I can be a superhero.

2) Shower. Yes, I said the obvious. And as you scrub up, imagine all the yucky, sad, disappointing, funky gunk sliding off of you with the warm water and going down the drain. You don't need a picture of that. 

3) Focus on what you CAN do. So many times we end up circling the drain of our brains with the sludgy water of what we can't control. Take a deep breath. Now exhale... blow out all the tension of the uncontrollables into the air. Bite off what you CAN chew for the day, encourage someone, SMILE. 

YOU are capable of being a superhero. Every.single.day. 

If you have any doubt left. Buy superhero socks. I did. Trust me. It helps! 

If you are stuck in slug mode, I am happy to help. Not every day will be a superhero day, but most days can be. You can reach me at the email address below or on my website where we can set up time to talk about how to Live Courageous!

What's your "Why?"

I have wrestled with what to say here, my first post on Live Courageous! In order to break the blog-jam in my head, I start here... 

What's my "Why?"

I started Live Courageous Coaching because I want to help people thrive in their lives. 

I spent countless years feeling stuck or helpless to change my circumstances. I am a woman of faith and spent hours in prayer and Bible studies trying to break loose from those feelings. I tried time management, self-help, and motivational books only to discover at the end of it all  --- wherever I go, whatever I do, there I am! I was exhausted from getting in my own way, trying to "fix" myself and my circumstances so I could feel better about being me.  

And then, I crashed.

Crushed by my own efforts to reinvent myself, I broke. 

The writing on the wall just said STOP!

Which was fine. I couldn't function anyway. 

I will blog about the season that began this life altering shift another time. The key point for today is: Back then I would have said my "Why?" was to "make me feel better about being me (and being brutally honest - to make you feel better about me)". I didn't believe God when He said I was valuable - See Psalm 139. After quite a length of time I can only describe as "re-calibrating", my "Why?" is no longer based on ME. 

My "Why?" is 

Helping YOU pursue YOUR passion. 

I thrive because I am no longer focused on ME. My hard-wired God-given design is to call out the greatness in YOU. 

I need to show up. For YOU. 

Because YOU matter and YOU need to know that there is someone out here who believes in YOU. Even when you don't. Regardless of how stuck you feel. You don't have to stay there. I can help you, because I know the pain. I know the process. I know the other side -- well, okay, I am on the other side but new challenges arise daily. 

Like the airplane safety manual says, you must put your own mask on first before you assist others. Getting yourself "unstuck" by discovering your purpose and pursuing your passion will free you to attend to the people and responsibilities in your life. I am clearly focused on my beloved ones, living my purpose in my home first and then beyond. 

What is your "Why?"

Why do you do what you do? 

If you don't know, I'm happy to help. Please contact me at jennifer@livecourageouscoaching.com

One of my favorite verses is the beautiful simplicity of Micah 6:8 in The Message:

"But He's already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, and don't take yourself too seriously -- take God seriously."