TALK and I'll Listen - Five Minute Free Write

I have a great friend who says, "Talk to Me!" all.the.time. But here's the thing, he means it. He really wants to hear what you have to say.

If you are saving your pain, worries, or downright fears to wait until your through them - Please don't. "If you don't tell me about it, you'll get zits," is what I used to say to my friends when I knew they were holding something back. Now I add, "or a big a__." Because it will come out sideways, zits, over eating, etc.

TALK to someone you trust. If you don't trust anyone, call a crisis line, connect with an online friend/family who cares and TALK. Reach out. It turns out, if you TALK, some of the power of the thoughts tormenting you goes away. Not all of it. We still have to deal with our "stuff".

God wasn't kidding with these instructions: "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." James 5:16

You don't have to be hiding some scary sin for this to be relevant. Healing comes with TALKing to someone who will come alongside you and walk with you in your struggle. You don't have to be alone.

I'm here if you need me. Meanwhile, I'm praying for you.

Five Minute Free Write - ALL of October!

Five Minute Friday: PRAISE God We're Still Married!

Today's Five Minute Friday Prompt is PRAISE.

I've been pondering that word since it posted last night and honestly, all I can think of is:

PRAISE God We're Still Married!

In keeping with my commitment to transparent honesty, I've decided to be real about how freaking hard my hubby and I work to stay married.

We have fought our whole marriage. Like, our WHOLE marriage. We have windows of peace and we make each other laugh usually every day at least once, but we fight:

- How clean is "clean"
- What is important after God, each other, family and friends
- When too much is too much - time or money spent on something/someone
- Who is working the hardest - at our relationship, around the house, with the kids, etc.
- Who is in charge
- What we should spend time or money on
- Who is being too hard on the kids - we trade off, so this is always different

If there is a fight to be had, we've had it.
The main themes are: Vying for Power/Control and being Offended by each others attitudes or responses (real or perceived). This BOOK has been a huge blessing regarding being offended.

I'd love to say we'd matured enough over the years to not fight (some of the above aren't an issue anymore) but we still do. Where the maturity comes in - the recovery time. I go from. "I cannot do this for the rest of my life!" to "Well, I'm not easy to live with either!"

This verse we picked to be our life verse for our marriage has proven to be Truth in ways we never imagined we would need it to be. Guarding our hearts and minds against the pressures, temptations, pain, suffering and challenges is no small feat. When I've felt vulnerable, this verse has tucked me into God. It has saved my life at times.

Happy 27th Anniversary Erik! I'm so glad we fight together FOR our marriage. I PRAISE God for making you exactly the way you are and I am grateful you love me, exactly the way I am. I love you.

Five Minute Free Write: The Gift Of A Door

 These pictures are of DOORs. Open and closed. Focus on the DOOR? How can you? Are the people in front of it, behind it, beside it distracting you?

The point of the DOOR is who you let in and who you let out.

Unforgiveness locks the one who hurt you behind the DOOR with you. Both of you trapped inside the darkness in the closet of pain. Forgiveness opens the DOOR and makes you stronger in the choosing. You might even become a super hero if you keep up the consistent work of forgiving those who hurt you.



Sometimes, as a hero, you need a helmet. To guard your mind and your head from bonking it on a DOOR that could be closed by someone else (like a cranky mischievous brother). Protecting your mind from negative thinking when DOORs close on you, it may feel like the worst thing that happens, but likely something better is coming along. you just don't see it yet.




Sometimes a DOOR is a shield. Protecting you and others from seeing, doing or saying something that shouldn't be seen, done or said. I felt like that in a wet suit. You can't unsee it, its hard to put on and you best say nothing about how hot I look in it!

A DOOR is a gift. Don't be afraid if it's closed or if it's open. Focus on WHO matters inside and outside the DOOR. It's you and your people.

HOW Am I Going To Do This?!

Today's Five Minute Free Write prompt is the word HOW. (Honestly, this was pretty hard to admit to, so it took me more like 10-15 minutes to push it out of my brain/heart and into my fingertips. It was easier to post my blog yesterday of me in a sports bra and cycling shorts!

It seemed like an odd prompt to me at first... then I had this thought:

I'm sure I've literally wondered "HOW am I going to do THIS?!" thousands of times.

The first 7 years we had kids, after 12 years without, my Love traveled. Every Sunday night I'd cry as he left. Every Friday when he got home we'd be happy to see each other and by Saturday morning we were fighting (if not Friday evening) - struggling for control of the family, trying to communicate without being offended or defensive and trying to have quality family time. It was so freaking hard! Every facet of our lives stirred up this question.

Make peace with not knowing HOW. Lean in to the One who loves you. 

Every year parenting escalates in challenge and I wonder again, almost daily, HOW am I going to do THIS?! No one can warn you about this part of parenting. It has to be experienced to be understood. It is similar to the intensity of marriage but different.

The answer: I CAN'T. I can't do it. Not in my own power, with my own self to depend on for positive results. Maybe other people can. But, not me.

If I didn't press hard into my relationship with God communicating daily my concerns, fears, crazy random self-condemning thoughts, I would be a total wreck. I'm not even kidding. Clinical depression, hormonal malfunctions, insanely long marathon migraines, a husband that is the complete opposite of me, three sons who have 504 behavior plans or IEPs (Individual Education Plans), and a lifelong battle with obesity, force me to draw near to the only One who knows HOW to help me do Love, Laughter, and Life, every day even if it is hard.

Do You INSPIRE Anyone?

Five Minute Free Write: INSPIRE

Do you INSPIRE others? I've been told I do. The things I did that most people said inspired them was doing triathlons. These pictures make me smile. So much of this day was an enormous blessing. I've done 5 and this one was the most recent in July 2015.

Swim Finished

Bike Start 

Finishing the Run

The people that INSPIRE me are in my mixed bag of friends.

One friend has weathered so many storms and stayed steadfast regardless of my sanity levels.

One friend who prays for me more than talking with me. We are there for each other.

One friend works harder than I've ever seen to bring order to the world and love intentionally

One friend who kisses. We love each other fiercely. Siblings of the heart.

One friend who breathes life into me with words, prayers and consistency.

One friend who is super different from me but connects with my heart in unusual ways.

One friend who says ridiculous things some might call cringe-worthy, but when I'm with this person I can be all of myself , no holding back. What a gift!

 The people who INSPIRE me are: Steadfast. Unshakable. Tenacious. Committed.

Messy Monday: Comfort, Eyeballs, and Blooming Where You're Planted

 Today I am combining my Five Minute Free Write with my Messy Monday because both are relevant together. 

COMFORT - Five minutes on this word when I could write volumes...

I've used many things for COMFORT over the years. Food is the one I've worn the most obviously, 

 ... as I write this I am listening to my Love hold our son accountable for his choices and I'm feeling the need for something soothing... because he does it differently than I do... sigh. 

I lose weight on vacation because I'm a stress eater. But, I've found this tea to be quite helpful in the past few years. I prefer the Kava over the honey lavender, but both work. It's less hazardous than eating, drinking alcohol, smoking or whatever else, to sit down and drink a cup of tea. OR depending on the moment, suck down a cup of lukewarm tea as fast as you can before you develop a twitch from the stress or eat your young... 

My friend needed me to bust out some cupcakes this weekend. I had grand creative plans that shrunk with the amount of time I had and supplies I needed. I highly recommend keeping a stockpile of candy eyeballs and food coloring handy.

Also, the regular googly eyes they have at the craft stores are helpful too. I love to put them in all kinds of places. This April Fool's Day I plan to glue them on to all of the food in the fridge, so the kids will have their food looking back at them.

But, for Saturday's party, bright yellow frosting, and an eyeball or two made for fun birthday cupcakes. I always say, "Love is something you do" - and this was a fun way to show up for my friend and let her and her daughter know I love them.


Messy is stabbing myself with the sharp tiny points of the frosting tip while trying to clean it by sticking my finger through, yelping in pain and then laughing because I stabbed myself with a frosting tip! Hard!

I'm a messy hair loving beach girl. I grew up on the southern California beaches and feel most like myself near or in the crashing waves. A bright light goes on inside of me that lies dormant until the smell of salt water floods my senses, the ocean breeze whips through my hair and I get sand on my toes. I have never loved being anywhere as much as I adore being on the California beach. 

Until...

Colorado. It's not just the altitude that makes me woozy and light headed. Its the sunshine and the stunning beauty of the wild rugged Rocky Mountains. When I go there, I don't want to leave. This is very messy because we live in Idaho. We have beauty here in our Idahome. There are pretty beaches on the lakes where we live and lovely mountains too. They just don't compare to the salty air, crashing waves, beach hair, the majestic Rocky Mountains and up close and personal high altitude sun for 300 days a year. 

We are in our Idahome for a bit longer and it's not a bad or hard place to live. We have great jobs, great friends made over the 26+ years we've lived here. Only God knows when it will be time to move to our Mountains or when I will be at the beach next. Until then, we bloom where we remain planted and soak up the occasional sun here. 

Thanks for joining in my Messiness! I hope you have a lovely week! 

Five Minute Free Write: HOPE in What?

I have been pondering this prompt since late last night, contemplating HOPE and what it means - to me. And how to capture that in 5 minutes! Yikes! But, that's the challenge I'm leaning in to this month. Here I ...

GO. 

My HOPE is in God. Theology will only get a girl so far, I've found. Relationship, built over time in victories, losses, grief, celebrations, and struggle, that is where the rubber hits the HOPE road for me. Anyone can tell me what they think of God, the relevance, crutch, etc. but no words, attitudes or worries change what I know to be true by my own personal experience. 

I grew up in the church, yes, but again, like theology, it only got me so far. Sunday school, youth group, and retreats are great, but without my own encounters with God, it would not have done me much good. 

My HOPE is that you will be willing to have your own personal encounter with God. There is Love to be found that is yours to experience. 

STOP.

I drew this when I needed HOPE. It came out of an encounter I had with God. 

Writing with the Five Minute Friday group every day in October.