Five Minute Friday: WITH You

The last Five Minute Friday post for the year and I apologize for missing last week. It was my first week of school and I couldn't catch up with myself or my schedule!

But this week, I am WITH you...

I am wired to be WITH you. Not just beside or near you.

WITH you means: to be in the muck, the joy, the stench, the party, the gang, the depths, I'll be WITH you there. I am not afraid, it is part of who I am.

I know that is how God is, for me. WITH me. I don't want to be God for you. YIKES! Five minutes with me, my busted verbal filter and my crazy non-conventional faith and you'll be confident that I am not!

However, I know how to be WITH you because I've learned that being WITH someone in a pleasant or even dreadful place, is sacred. I wrote to a friend recently that she needed time to grieve. To soak in the pain and process it, regardless of the people around her ready for her to "move on" or "look at what you do have".

Sometimes the discomfort of being WITH people in their misery, grief, tragedy, despair can be scary - like it might get on you too. Sometimes it does. The remedy is the same. Showing up and being WITH someone is a sacred act of love worth doing. Because, after all, Love is something you DO.

Five Minute Friday: BALANCE?!

Today's Five Minute Friday prompt is one I have wrestled with for years.

I have concluded: looking for, pursuing and seeking BALANCE is a waste of time.

I've spent more time trying to do that than being present. In life. What I've found in trying to find BALANCE is I spend more time wondering/worrying if something I'm doing or not doing is the right thing. Spending time trying to find BALANCE is like standing in the middle of a teeter totter while kids, church, school, dog, neighbors, friends, family and whoever else, jump on and off of either side randomly and with varying intensity. That is not a wise place to stand, as far as I'm concerned.

Snagged this from Google

I'd rather be on one side, adjusting as needed to the ups and downs as they come, being fully present in what is - which I believe is way more valuable and effective not only for my heart and mind but for the people around me.

And then there's this...

“I can confidently say that stories of pain and courage almost always include two things: praying and cussing. Sometimes at the exact same time.” ― Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

This book changed me. It gave me permission to do exactly what I wrote above. My faith was strengthened, my trust in who God created me to be and what He built me to say was reinforced so I can be fully present, regardless of what happens, making the need for BALANCE irrelevant.

FMF: Courage To Go DEEP

I am writing with the Five Minute Friday posse of wordsmiths again. Gosh, I love these people. They comment encouragement and make me want to write more. It never feels competitive or judgmental. I am grateful for this Tribe.

DEEP is the word of the week. It took longer than five minutes to write, but I hope you will feel it is worth your time.

I took this picture in my backyard jungle (strawberry patch). We all love strawberries, even the dog!

Once the easy to grasp or chomp fruits on the periphery of the jungle/patch have been consumed, we have to dig DEEP for the hidden deliciousness, risking spiders, other crawly creatures, twisty vines and pokey weeds.

Sound a bit like life?

Where is the best, longest lasting, life sustaining sweetest fruit found?

DEEP in the grayish jungle/patch of feelings, thoughts, and longings for more. Where only the Brave, risk tangled vines, fanged multi-legged creepers, and prickly weeds in search of richly ripened fruit.

There are times when it doesn't feel worth the risk of getting poked, tangled in, or bit by an unknown crawly thing to grasp what will hopefully, maybe possibly, be tasty out of the grayish bleh.


 
I prefer to look for fruit that is easily found, recognized by glowing light, angels singing, butterflies flitting about while a unicorn grazes nearby.


But, let's face it. The angel chorus fruit may be over-ripe and squish into our fingers leaving them stained, sticky, and attract flying stingers. It doesn't last long and it sustains nothing.

However, the hazy DEEP, pain-laden, belief-molting, theology-shredding places and seasons are worth reaching into. I've navigated enough of them that I am gaining strength in the coming out. Endurance and grace are in rich supply where the vibrant will to move forward fades to grayscale.

If you find yourself in that place or season, don't do it alone. Choose someone who will be in the DEEP with you, unafraid. They will bandage the pricks, bites, and untangle. They will breathe words of warmth in the frosty faded moments, weeks or months. They will be Spirit in flesh cautiously, tenderly, leading you out of the grayscale back to vibrancy.

You can go through the DEEP, find the freshest fruit, and flourish. It IS possible. Don't give up.

Hugs and prayers to you. I'm here if you need me.

Pick ONE

Five Minute Friday time! This time last week was beyond rough, but it got better and I used the word from last week - Burden - in my Messy Monday blog. 

This week's prompt is the word ONE. 

I wrote in last weeks Messy Monday about things that you can do when you are struggling and need to get focused on moving forward. But what if even six small phrases or words feels like too much? I have had more times in my life than I can count where even ONE thing feels like too much.

But what if you could pick just ONE thing to focus on. I found this on Facebook and I love it, But even that can seem like too much - especially if you are neck deep in trauma, grief, depression, anger, whatever overwhelming-life-sucking-breath-taking event you are walking through. Just pick ONE thing. If it feels like too much, pick something else. There are no real hard and fast rules to surviving the really hard stuff. Here are two things I do:

1) ONE thing I choose when I am flooded by life stuff -- drink more water. Silly right? Well, I remember as a kid my Mom answered for me to "drink more water" if I questioned her about any ailment. Now it has become a family giggle that I am passing on to my kids. 

2) ONE other thing I've chosen in the past is sleep. Just to make sure I get eight hours of sleep. When I had little kids that wasn't possible -- see solution number ONE. (Wink)

Words Worth REPEATing

Five Minute Friday again. It was nice to take a break for a day from blogging now it's time to write again!

Today's prompt is REPEAT.

Some words are worth REPEATing. Like this verse for example. It's a very clear declaration from God:
I HAVE made you.
I WILL carry you.
I WILL sustain you.
I WILL rescue you.

That's something God communicated.

What do you communicate REPEATedly?

You are NOT...
You'd better...
You should... (I personally hate this one the most)
You CAN...
You ARE...

God's Words are powerful. Our words are powerful.

Should people REPEAT what you say? The honest answer for me is -- mostly.

Messy Monday: Comfort, Eyeballs, and Blooming Where You're Planted

 Today I am combining my Five Minute Free Write with my Messy Monday because both are relevant together. 

COMFORT - Five minutes on this word when I could write volumes...

I've used many things for COMFORT over the years. Food is the one I've worn the most obviously, 

 ... as I write this I am listening to my Love hold our son accountable for his choices and I'm feeling the need for something soothing... because he does it differently than I do... sigh. 

I lose weight on vacation because I'm a stress eater. But, I've found this tea to be quite helpful in the past few years. I prefer the Kava over the honey lavender, but both work. It's less hazardous than eating, drinking alcohol, smoking or whatever else, to sit down and drink a cup of tea. OR depending on the moment, suck down a cup of lukewarm tea as fast as you can before you develop a twitch from the stress or eat your young... 

My friend needed me to bust out some cupcakes this weekend. I had grand creative plans that shrunk with the amount of time I had and supplies I needed. I highly recommend keeping a stockpile of candy eyeballs and food coloring handy.

Also, the regular googly eyes they have at the craft stores are helpful too. I love to put them in all kinds of places. This April Fool's Day I plan to glue them on to all of the food in the fridge, so the kids will have their food looking back at them.

But, for Saturday's party, bright yellow frosting, and an eyeball or two made for fun birthday cupcakes. I always say, "Love is something you do" - and this was a fun way to show up for my friend and let her and her daughter know I love them.


Messy is stabbing myself with the sharp tiny points of the frosting tip while trying to clean it by sticking my finger through, yelping in pain and then laughing because I stabbed myself with a frosting tip! Hard!

I'm a messy hair loving beach girl. I grew up on the southern California beaches and feel most like myself near or in the crashing waves. A bright light goes on inside of me that lies dormant until the smell of salt water floods my senses, the ocean breeze whips through my hair and I get sand on my toes. I have never loved being anywhere as much as I adore being on the California beach. 

Until...

Colorado. It's not just the altitude that makes me woozy and light headed. Its the sunshine and the stunning beauty of the wild rugged Rocky Mountains. When I go there, I don't want to leave. This is very messy because we live in Idaho. We have beauty here in our Idahome. There are pretty beaches on the lakes where we live and lovely mountains too. They just don't compare to the salty air, crashing waves, beach hair, the majestic Rocky Mountains and up close and personal high altitude sun for 300 days a year. 

We are in our Idahome for a bit longer and it's not a bad or hard place to live. We have great jobs, great friends made over the 26+ years we've lived here. Only God knows when it will be time to move to our Mountains or when I will be at the beach next. Until then, we bloom where we remain planted and soak up the occasional sun here. 

Thanks for joining in my Messiness! I hope you have a lovely week! 

Five Minute Friday Free Write: SHARE

Writing and posting every day this month is quite a challenge for me. I seldom give myself permission to write consistently. I love it. But, I am always able to find something I "need" or my family "needs" me to do instead. Making time to write, every single day, starting a new job, juggling kids with sports, homework and the usual day to day life stuff is tricky, but it feels really good. Mostly.

Until this prompt: SHARE
What I wanted to do was write about my dog Sophie and how fun it is to share my life with her and her impact on my life. Isn't she adorable? I think so.

But no. In the shower this morning God and I had a meeting. It seems I am to truly SHARE stuff. Real stuff. So. Here. I ...

GO.

I sang my son Jesus Loves Me after he told me he didn't know any worship songs in his head to think about. I was crushed. The other two boys have an entire gigantic catalog of worship songs floating through their heads. All. The. Time. I hear their cracking puberty stricken voices singing them throughout the day. I love it. But, my youngest doesn't live with that in his head and heart. Unfortunately that begins a ridiculous bit of self crushing momologue (monologue saturated with mom-guilt) about how I've failed him as a parent. Seriously. 

And there's this. 

I am STILL trying to get validation on random things. I feel compelled to inform my Love whenever I clean out a drawer (or 3), cook a bunch of meals (or 1), play with the kids, clean up after myself and wash the sheets. Like I should get a prize for that?! Maybe I should. What do you think? 

Do I need validation from anyone for doing life? I have a good life. Some days I work harder than others physically. Other days I work harder mentally. Some days I just barely show up and get my bra on the right way. 

STOP. 

I am learning how to BE. BE okay with imperfection, singing Jesus Loves Me instead of him telling me what songs he knows, BE satisfied with a good day's work because I am, not because anyone might tell me I'm amazing. God says I am. I want that to be enough. 

And, because I can't help myself...

I must CHER once more ...

Hee Hee... SHARE/CHER...