When Courage is Hard to Find

Writing from the low place today. I process while I type and I decided if I want you to be real with me I must keep it real myself. As a life coach I would think conventional wisdom would be to keep chin up, positive, “come on you can do this” type of blogging as the theme and keep the daily struggles to myself.

That just isn’t me.

Today has been painful. From many levels. Recovering from sinus and ear infections, memories of past pain flooding back, mothering three strong leaders and no marital bliss in sight.

My “Brand” is Live Courageous!

What if you don’t FEEL the courage anywhere inside of you?

What if you have a complete lack of gumption?

What if even the idea of Live Courageous! sounds like a lame joke heard over the radio as you sit in your pajamas for the 3^rd day with no vision for the future?

I know that feeling. On days like this I feel my own “Brand” mocking me.  It might be the fever and the stuffy head, but misery only amplifies the “owies” of life. Even if they are my own perception, they remain painful.

So, in with the tiniest shred of courage I push up the periscope from my dark place and look for hope above and beyond today. I find this:

It often feels like the learning curve of my life was designed to torture me with epic climbs. When I am aching in my chest from the altitude, the attitudes around me, and the actions of others I MUST find in the darkness a reason to grow.

Whatever blows up, blows over, blows around, my roots need to be deep enough to hang tight until tomorrow.

We never know what is coming tomorrow. It may be worse and the tools in the growth today give us the tenacity to hang on through it or if it is better there is a reprieve from the strengthening and growing process that the darkness brings.

My encouragement to you, from the dark place today, is hang on. Do what you must. Don’t take yourself or anyone else too seriously. And most of all, get some rest. Growing, darkness, and strengthening take lots of energy.

To quote a dear and very wise friend:

BIG FIRST

It may be Saturday, but I'm joining my fellow bloggers at Five Minute Friday.

This week's prompt is FIRST.

I was busy living my BIG FIRST yesterday 

so I had to wait to write about it until today.

Yesterday was fully loaded with resistance.

1) Firstborn pre-teen push back on every word out of my mouth
2) Youngest needed snack for entire class (I put a reminder in my phone but forgot anyway)
3) I didn't get ready for the day because of tangling with #1 and had a full day that required being put together.
4) I zip kids to school, go to store to get snack, zip home get put together as best I can, back to school for youngest's juggling performance.
5) Attend performance, video and clap.
6) Carefully navigating slushy snow and ice, I wipe out on the sidewalk going back to my car crashing on my knee that I wrecked last year skiing.
7) I have to go home and change clothes because I am now soaking wet.
8) I desperately want to cancel the rest of the day because of the mental exhaustion I feel already AND my knee hurts pretty bad.
9) Go home, change clothes, put on less slippery soled boots deciding for the FIRST time on a day like this that I am going to Live Courageous despite the desire to throw in the towel!

10) I make it to my first appointment and dial in to the  project/discussion we decided to tackle.
11) I drive to my next appointment, making it on time and enjoyed the time with a great friend.
12) I zipped over to the school because one of the boys needed money for something.
13) I'm seriously thinking I'm nuts to keep going with my knee rapidly swelling and my head beginning to pound.
14) I have to go home to get the paperwork for my next appointment because I forgot it earlier.
15) I am 5 minutes late to my next appointment but she was gracious and prayed for my headache and knee injury. By the time I left my head did not hurt. Until...
16) I'm avoiding ice on the steps and crack my head into a light fixture.
17) I miss dinner and head out to my class for the evening.
18) After class I grocery shop and I trip on my way in the house carrying a bag of groceries.
19) My husband grabs the rest of the groceries expressing concern for my knee.
20) I climb into bed thankful that I managed to push through, accomplish and even thrive pushing through a crazy hard bunch of events that could have sidelined me for the whole day.

Seriously, I had to choose to Live Courageous many times when all I wanted to do was curl up and quit. This was a BIG FIRST for me. BUT:

Being with the people, doing what I planned to do was worth fighting for yesterday.

It was worth it. ALL of it.

Why Live Courageous?

I Live Courageous! because

Two years ago, December 2013 I wrote THIS.

And to break out from that horrible place, one of the things I did was THIS.

Then I decided to learn to ski. 

COURAGE.

My first ski instructor had one leg. "Lefty". 

But then:
December 26, 2014 I wrecked my knee. I was practicing before my second ski lesson with my Love on the beginner hill. I fell and heard a pop. I assumed since I was over 40 my body would make noises when I was learning a new skill. I got up, fell, got up, crashed, got up, slid down the hill and decided to take the lift to the top and try some more. I fell down again. And again. This time he said it didn't even look like I was trying to stay upright. Turns out, I didn't have a ligament to stand on (I didn't know that yet). I kept at it until I hurt too bad to clip into my skis anymore.

Several weeks of crutches (while my Love had to travel for work), tests, evaluations, and an MRI, I had someone else's Achilles tendon (I am grateful for those who donate their parts when they don't need them anymore.) installed as my new anterior cruciate ligament (ACL). It was a major endeavor and required many hours, weeks, months of pain, stretching, physical therapy, etc. It essentially took over my entire life and I already had a busy one!

EVERY YEAR is going to require some amount of COURAGE. 

A few big things required me to Live Courageous! in 2015:


I worked hard to rehab my knee, including admitting I needed to do something to control my downward spiral into another bout of depression due to spending the winter on my butt and on crutches. Once you go into remission in clinical depression, it is extremely hard to admit you are sliding back into the hole. 

COURAGE.

I walked with my best friend through a breast cancer diagnosis, double mastectomy, reconstruction surgery, a new relationship, proposal and marriage. Keeping my head (and encouraging them even when I was afraid she would lose her life) focused on God and His provision for that season. 

COURAGE.

I did my fifth sprint triathlon - these pictures - posting them.

COURAGE. 

Best swim time ever.

Headed out on the bike ride.

About to cross the finish line!

And finally, I quit my job at a place I love with people I love to start a career doing what I love - COACH! 

COURAGE.


In 2016 I know COURAGE will be required of me to do these things: 

• Building a business actively cheering you to Live Courageous!
• Remaining transparent and professional - a delicate balance for me
• Training and Finishing the Half Ironman Coeur d'Alene June 26, 2016
• And... only God knows what else... 

I Live Courageous! because I want to squeeze every drop out of life. I've survived feeling stuck and I never want to feel that way again. 

Now it's your turn. 

Do you want to Live Courageous! ? 

What Courageous plans do you have for 2016?

Please answer one or more of these questions in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you!

Can I help you Live Courageous! ? Don't hesitate to email me  if you would like a free 30 minute consultation. My introduction rates will expire at midnight (PST) on January 1, 2016. I can Skype anywhere in the world, so don't let location put you off of moving forward. 

Three Steps To Have A Superhero Day

More often than not:

I'm sure I can rock the day, the tasks, the relationships and the surprises arriving on my path. YOU can have days like that. Lots of them! 

Some days:

This funky specimen had the good fortune to be discovered on our way out the door to school. It was safe to slime it's way out of harm before my salt sprinkling experimenters caused it's untimely demise. 

Slug days, I slog along wondering what might squish, sprinkle or scorch my plans. Battling clinical depression most of my life, I know slug days well. A real slug is not brilliant enough to anticipate the pending disastrous possibilities, but since I feel comfortable admitting I am smarter than the average slug, I tend to go into the day focused on myself. How tired I am, how much I have to do, how naughty my kids are, how will I ever make a difference in the world... can you see the slime trail yet?

One might suggest these are two extremes and one should find a middle ground. Possibly. NOT!

Living a superhero day is easier than you think. 

Before feet hit floor we can choose! I have walked through some pretty nasty stuff and been able to find my superhero self by doing these three things:

1) Grab a hold of your thoughts. Our thinkers can squish us or spring us into the next minute, hour, or even the whole day. 

Andy Stanley says this and I have to remember to do it:

A friend gave me a mug I keep close by. This is how I remember I can be a superhero.

2) Shower. Yes, I said the obvious. And as you scrub up, imagine all the yucky, sad, disappointing, funky gunk sliding off of you with the warm water and going down the drain. You don't need a picture of that. 

3) Focus on what you CAN do. So many times we end up circling the drain of our brains with the sludgy water of what we can't control. Take a deep breath. Now exhale... blow out all the tension of the uncontrollables into the air. Bite off what you CAN chew for the day, encourage someone, SMILE. 

YOU are capable of being a superhero. Every.single.day. 

If you have any doubt left. Buy superhero socks. I did. Trust me. It helps! 

If you are stuck in slug mode, I am happy to help. Not every day will be a superhero day, but most days can be. You can reach me at the email address below or on my website where we can set up time to talk about how to Live Courageous!