Messy Monday: Goals, Plans, and Great Expectations

Last Monday I completely soaked up my family time and let the Messiness of the week before fade into the last minutes of 2018. It was a rough year with some great highlights.

I realized, while watching the Rose Parade (streaming poorly-this sad California girl was not happy) that I didn't accomplish my final most likely to happen goal of 2018: Buy Awesome RED Shoes

Seriously, who puts off buying glorious red shoes?! Apparently me. Because it didn't happen. I'm going to just let it go, I think. If, like Dorothy, some amazing red shoes show up right in front of me, then maybe I'll buy them.

Goals: This past weekend we did something as a family besides puberty stricken alpha males posturing for supremacy and avoid chores with equal intensity. I walked them each through my favorite Goal Setting Plan I got from my Coach and Friend, Terry Gurno. It is the 1-3-5 method. I asked a few questions I gathered from my Living Well Planner by Ruth Soukup, and then started writing what they said.

We each prayed about what word we would focus on for the year.

Our big 3 goals.

Then the 1-3-5

1) A statement that puts into a sentence or two what you want to achieve for the coming year.
3) Write the three goals listed in your sentence.
5) Write down 5 things you can do to accomplish the goal.

Here is Mine for this year:
My Word: Embrace

My big 3: Take Action, Get Stronger, Stay Open

ONE: In 2019 I will embrace taking more action, getting stronger, and staying open to being led by the Spirit. 

THREE and FIVE:

1--Take Action - Just DO it! No more pondering, planning, waiting, avoiding, or procrastinating.
     1)Workout
     2) Write
     3) Organize
     4) Clean
     5) Pray

2-- Get Stronger - Power UP!
     1) Mentally Stronger: Push through hard stuff - engage tenacity!
     2) Physically Stronger: Endurance cardio and weight lifting
     3) Spiritually Stronger: Read New Testament and write down/pray through my dreams
     4) Emotionally Stronger - Allow space for being a woman (in my man-full house), counseling
     5) Practically Stronger - Gym bag packed and ready, playlists, good Kleenex, journal   

3-- Stay Open - Flexible, available, come what may.
     1) Listen carefully to Spirit - be quiet
     2) Schedule "Open" times for appointments that arise
     3) Say YES more, to Spirit, to my Love, my fellas, as led
     4) Available mindset - don't be so focused on my agenda that I miss something important
     5) Embrace curve balls - something is always going to shake up the plan, go with it!

Plans: We keep making plans and like an epic game of whack-a-mole - and then something pops up. Then something else before you can grab a hammer, then something else once you whack the mole, another one shows up, but what if I grab a hammer in each hand and play! Laugh as the moles pop up, I bop them on the head and then again and again. Pretend this is that famous Mouse with bad pizza and sticky floors place and jump in all the way!!!

Great Expectations: After six months of a migraine, a complete hysterectomy, recovery from both, medical bills, sons in horrible situations/events that required constant attention and collaboration with the administration of schools, police, administration in other organizations, doctors, and nurses, I have high hopes for 2019. As I stated above, regardless of what comes my way, I am much stronger than I was at the beginning of 2018. For that, I am incredibly grateful!

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions and I have a copy of the actual 1-3-5 form you can fill out.

Messy Monday: Goal Setting, Sharing Burdens, and Looking Ahead

This week's Messy Monday will hopefully encourage you as we come into the holidays and begin a new year. You matter to me. That is why I write. Your heart, mind, body, needs are worth investing in. Other's have done it for me, so I write for you.

Goal Setting: I have experienced goal setting with no goals met, some goals met, and all goals met. I have learned over the years a few handy tips I will share with you:

• The 1-3-5 format has been the single most helpful strategy I have ever used. If you want a copy let me know. I learned to use it from my coach and long time dear friend Terry Gurno. 
• Set FUN goals, things that will stretch you in different ways. For example, my last remaining goal for 2018 is to buy a pair of fantastic red shoes. I am not a shoe-a-holic at all and deliberately choosing to buy shoes because I have always wanted a pair, happens to be a stretch for me. 
• Don't wait until January of the new year to set goals. NOW is the best time to not only set them, but achieve them. 

If you want help, I can help you. Most people I know that achieve their goals work hard to do it, have people alongside them helping them reminding them their uniquely crafted purpose can be accomplished by no one else, and every goal set and met makes this happen. 

Sharing Burdens: The messiness of life can make a person feel overwhelmed and overcome by feelings of inadequacy, failure, and insignificance. This can be remedied by sharing your burdens in these ways: 

• Leaning into your faith. Wherever you are in your faith journey, lean in. If your faith is in God, lean there and pray, if it is in yourself, family or friends, lean there, regardless, you can't do it alone. 
• Trusted friends who can handle you speaking out your struggle without judgement and remind you of your value.
• Collaborate with trusted resources. For us, in this season of life (sons in elementary, middle and high school), we work with school administrations, teachers, counselors, youth pastors, and others who have navigated this season ahead of us. 

Don't hold your burdens close to your chest like a hand in poker. Bluffing your way through life or knowing you hold all the cards everyone else needs is equally unhelpful to you and those around you. 

Looking ahead: The rules of horseback riding - Eyes up, shoulders back, heels down. Where you look is where you'll go. My best friend and I went riding together all the time. She rode her quarter horse and I rode her little black Welsh pony named Licorice. That little thing dumped me more than once. Sometimes it was because I was looking down, hunched over, or had my legs bunched up. Sometimes I ended up looking down as I headed face first into the street/dirt/shrubs. Life feels like that, even if you don't have far to fall. 

One of the most powerful things I learned during my years in the saddle was what happens to my body when I look forward. My core holds me upright and centered, while the rest of me settles, softens, and becomes fluid with the movements of the horse. I haven't been in the saddle in years and I still remember that feeling. I use that awareness when dealing with hard things from being in labor, writing, parenting, doing a triathlon, etc. 

Live Courageous! means MOVE FORWARD

Over my head in migraine pain, longing, begging for answers, craving some sort of “normalcy” to return. What does courage look like in moments like these? I’m not exactly sure for every day, but for today I think it looks like:

Sticking with my super clean protein shake, coffee, water, chamomile tea, listening to a sermon preached by a friend, worship sent by another, advice from another, praying for others in deeper challenges than I am, and writing.

I am supposed to be training for the Half Ironman just a little over four months away and I still have yet to get a solid week of training in. Sick kids, sinus and ear infections, migraines, travel, you name it, it’s encroached upon my plans to meet this goal I’ve had for four years. Many don’t believe I can do it. Several want me to but aren't sure I can finish. Some are convinced I can do it, even this late in the training season. Others don’t want me to try. 

I choose to MOVE FORWARD. Because that is what I firmly believe changes things.
MOVE FORWARD.

I share all this with you, so you know, that when I choose to LIVE COURAGEOUS! it’s not because it’s easy for me either.

Find one way you can MOVE FORWARD today and list it in the comments below. I will cheer you on!

Blessings and love!
Jenn

BIG FIRST

It may be Saturday, but I'm joining my fellow bloggers at Five Minute Friday.

This week's prompt is FIRST.

I was busy living my BIG FIRST yesterday 

so I had to wait to write about it until today.

Yesterday was fully loaded with resistance.

1) Firstborn pre-teen push back on every word out of my mouth
2) Youngest needed snack for entire class (I put a reminder in my phone but forgot anyway)
3) I didn't get ready for the day because of tangling with #1 and had a full day that required being put together.
4) I zip kids to school, go to store to get snack, zip home get put together as best I can, back to school for youngest's juggling performance.
5) Attend performance, video and clap.
6) Carefully navigating slushy snow and ice, I wipe out on the sidewalk going back to my car crashing on my knee that I wrecked last year skiing.
7) I have to go home and change clothes because I am now soaking wet.
8) I desperately want to cancel the rest of the day because of the mental exhaustion I feel already AND my knee hurts pretty bad.
9) Go home, change clothes, put on less slippery soled boots deciding for the FIRST time on a day like this that I am going to Live Courageous despite the desire to throw in the towel!

10) I make it to my first appointment and dial in to the  project/discussion we decided to tackle.
11) I drive to my next appointment, making it on time and enjoyed the time with a great friend.
12) I zipped over to the school because one of the boys needed money for something.
13) I'm seriously thinking I'm nuts to keep going with my knee rapidly swelling and my head beginning to pound.
14) I have to go home to get the paperwork for my next appointment because I forgot it earlier.
15) I am 5 minutes late to my next appointment but she was gracious and prayed for my headache and knee injury. By the time I left my head did not hurt. Until...
16) I'm avoiding ice on the steps and crack my head into a light fixture.
17) I miss dinner and head out to my class for the evening.
18) After class I grocery shop and I trip on my way in the house carrying a bag of groceries.
19) My husband grabs the rest of the groceries expressing concern for my knee.
20) I climb into bed thankful that I managed to push through, accomplish and even thrive pushing through a crazy hard bunch of events that could have sidelined me for the whole day.

Seriously, I had to choose to Live Courageous many times when all I wanted to do was curl up and quit. This was a BIG FIRST for me. BUT:

Being with the people, doing what I planned to do was worth fighting for yesterday.

It was worth it. ALL of it.

WHEN Do We Live Courageous?

This will be a multi-part blog --- There are so many WHENs to live courageous.


As I battle the clinical depression tempting me to circle the drain in my thoughts, I post this for anyone who even has the slightest desire to Live Courageous! or knows they need to, somehow, some way.

I have been on the hunt for a bathing suit. It is a challenge. My body has morphed so much in the last year and a half since I had gastric sleeve surgery many things just fit weird, or in my opinion look weird.

Finding one in January, another challenge. I found 3, full price, no coupon, no sale in sight… and two sizes smaller than I’ve worn in 20 years.

Sigh… I decided to try them on anyway. I wasn’t looking for a self-esteem boost anyway, right?

The first one I tried on fit. Everywhere. Huh? Cool.

The second one - not awesome but functional.

The third one – liked the style but no.stinkin.way.


I sat in the dressing room, tears rolling down my face. My body fits in a smaller size suit than I have worn for over 20 years but my focus was on how far I still have to go.

Do you ever rob yourself of the current blessing to look at the seemingly endless distance ahead?

That is WHEN to LIVE COURAGEOUS!

SEE the blessing. Hold it. Celebrate it. Rest in it. Even for a moment. Then…

Keep moving forward. Every.single.day.

Yes, I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan, don't judge, it's been a rough year.

 

Today I swam, in that suit, roughly 40 minutes and approximately 1300 meters. I am training for a Half-Ironman in June of this year. This suit is going to help me meet the goal of crossing the finish line!

  

Live Courageous! It's worth it.

 

 

Why Live Courageous?

I Live Courageous! because

Two years ago, December 2013 I wrote THIS.

And to break out from that horrible place, one of the things I did was THIS.

Then I decided to learn to ski. 

COURAGE.

My first ski instructor had one leg. "Lefty". 

But then:
December 26, 2014 I wrecked my knee. I was practicing before my second ski lesson with my Love on the beginner hill. I fell and heard a pop. I assumed since I was over 40 my body would make noises when I was learning a new skill. I got up, fell, got up, crashed, got up, slid down the hill and decided to take the lift to the top and try some more. I fell down again. And again. This time he said it didn't even look like I was trying to stay upright. Turns out, I didn't have a ligament to stand on (I didn't know that yet). I kept at it until I hurt too bad to clip into my skis anymore.

Several weeks of crutches (while my Love had to travel for work), tests, evaluations, and an MRI, I had someone else's Achilles tendon (I am grateful for those who donate their parts when they don't need them anymore.) installed as my new anterior cruciate ligament (ACL). It was a major endeavor and required many hours, weeks, months of pain, stretching, physical therapy, etc. It essentially took over my entire life and I already had a busy one!

EVERY YEAR is going to require some amount of COURAGE. 

A few big things required me to Live Courageous! in 2015:


I worked hard to rehab my knee, including admitting I needed to do something to control my downward spiral into another bout of depression due to spending the winter on my butt and on crutches. Once you go into remission in clinical depression, it is extremely hard to admit you are sliding back into the hole. 

COURAGE.

I walked with my best friend through a breast cancer diagnosis, double mastectomy, reconstruction surgery, a new relationship, proposal and marriage. Keeping my head (and encouraging them even when I was afraid she would lose her life) focused on God and His provision for that season. 

COURAGE.

I did my fifth sprint triathlon - these pictures - posting them.

COURAGE. 

Best swim time ever.

Headed out on the bike ride.

About to cross the finish line!

And finally, I quit my job at a place I love with people I love to start a career doing what I love - COACH! 

COURAGE.


In 2016 I know COURAGE will be required of me to do these things: 

• Building a business actively cheering you to Live Courageous!
• Remaining transparent and professional - a delicate balance for me
• Training and Finishing the Half Ironman Coeur d'Alene June 26, 2016
• And... only God knows what else... 

I Live Courageous! because I want to squeeze every drop out of life. I've survived feeling stuck and I never want to feel that way again. 

Now it's your turn. 

Do you want to Live Courageous! ? 

What Courageous plans do you have for 2016?

Please answer one or more of these questions in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you!

Can I help you Live Courageous! ? Don't hesitate to email me  if you would like a free 30 minute consultation. My introduction rates will expire at midnight (PST) on January 1, 2016. I can Skype anywhere in the world, so don't let location put you off of moving forward. 

What's your "Why?"

I have wrestled with what to say here, my first post on Live Courageous! In order to break the blog-jam in my head, I start here... 

What's my "Why?"

I started Live Courageous Coaching because I want to help people thrive in their lives. 

I spent countless years feeling stuck or helpless to change my circumstances. I am a woman of faith and spent hours in prayer and Bible studies trying to break loose from those feelings. I tried time management, self-help, and motivational books only to discover at the end of it all  --- wherever I go, whatever I do, there I am! I was exhausted from getting in my own way, trying to "fix" myself and my circumstances so I could feel better about being me.  

And then, I crashed.

Crushed by my own efforts to reinvent myself, I broke. 

The writing on the wall just said STOP!

Which was fine. I couldn't function anyway. 

I will blog about the season that began this life altering shift another time. The key point for today is: Back then I would have said my "Why?" was to "make me feel better about being me (and being brutally honest - to make you feel better about me)". I didn't believe God when He said I was valuable - See Psalm 139. After quite a length of time I can only describe as "re-calibrating", my "Why?" is no longer based on ME. 

My "Why?" is 

Helping YOU pursue YOUR passion. 

I thrive because I am no longer focused on ME. My hard-wired God-given design is to call out the greatness in YOU. 

I need to show up. For YOU. 

Because YOU matter and YOU need to know that there is someone out here who believes in YOU. Even when you don't. Regardless of how stuck you feel. You don't have to stay there. I can help you, because I know the pain. I know the process. I know the other side -- well, okay, I am on the other side but new challenges arise daily. 

Like the airplane safety manual says, you must put your own mask on first before you assist others. Getting yourself "unstuck" by discovering your purpose and pursuing your passion will free you to attend to the people and responsibilities in your life. I am clearly focused on my beloved ones, living my purpose in my home first and then beyond. 

What is your "Why?"

Why do you do what you do? 

If you don't know, I'm happy to help. Please contact me at jennifer@livecourageouscoaching.com

One of my favorite verses is the beautiful simplicity of Micah 6:8 in The Message:

"But He's already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, and don't take yourself too seriously -- take God seriously."