Messy Monday: Messy Month

What Do You Do with an Idea?

This was one of my most very favorite of all time Christmas gifts this year! I have always been fully loaded with ideas, and this story made me smile so deeply I think my toes sparkled! I will be spending this year using the really great insights in this book.

January is always my messiest month. It is the time of memories, melancholy, and missing motivation.

This year (so far) has been my least messy January. I know it's not quite over yet but its already light years from this time last year.

January comes fully loaded with melancholy memories:

• I had to give baby Joy back to Heaven.
• My Uncle (who I was super close to) went missing, later to be found in the bottom of a ravine.
• Our marriage hit an epic level speed bump.
• My best friend's Dad (from my childhood), who was like a second Dad to me passed away suddenly.
• I was betrayed by a trusted friend.
• My faith took a spectacular hit and started an entire year of suicidal thoughts and traumatizing fear.
• I began a migraine that would last for six miserable months. 

Depressed yet?! Right?!

Here is what's different THIS year:

• I miss my baby Joy, but it's finally like she's just tucked in my heart, the agony of losing her is a memory but not a crushing loss.
• My Uncle, I miss him. Often. But the relationship I have with his sons blesses me like crazy and I can hear and see so much of him in them, it's almost like he's still here.
• Our marriage is stronger, better for the painful struggle to recover and makes me smile when I think of it. 
• My best friend's Dad. I still miss him, but if, I stop, in the quiet moments, I can still hear his voice calling me Jenn-aaa-fur (emphasis on the aaa).
• My friend and I, we've worked it out. We're going to be okay.
• My faith is tougher, pretty close to unshakable (seriously knocking on my wooden head!). It's power is limitless and my passion for loving "Everybody Always" is freaking awesome!
• The migraine is over. Extracted with all my girl parts this past summer. No sign of anything like it happening again! Correctly monitored hormones being replaced as needed and watched over carefully. 

How did this transition happen? 

I took this advice VERY seriously. 

AND

I have a few big goals, a great job, and an opportunity to finish my education. These things are keeping me busy, challenged and happy. Our sons are changing in really cool ways, growing taller than me (2 of 3), making voice crack jokes and we're finally starting to pay them for grades.

If you have reached this point in January, still feeling discouraged or beginning to feel that way, reach out. To me. To someone. You don't have to do it alone. 

Messy Monday: Goals, Plans, and Great Expectations

Last Monday I completely soaked up my family time and let the Messiness of the week before fade into the last minutes of 2018. It was a rough year with some great highlights.

I realized, while watching the Rose Parade (streaming poorly-this sad California girl was not happy) that I didn't accomplish my final most likely to happen goal of 2018: Buy Awesome RED Shoes

Seriously, who puts off buying glorious red shoes?! Apparently me. Because it didn't happen. I'm going to just let it go, I think. If, like Dorothy, some amazing red shoes show up right in front of me, then maybe I'll buy them.

Goals: This past weekend we did something as a family besides puberty stricken alpha males posturing for supremacy and avoid chores with equal intensity. I walked them each through my favorite Goal Setting Plan I got from my Coach and Friend, Terry Gurno. It is the 1-3-5 method. I asked a few questions I gathered from my Living Well Planner by Ruth Soukup, and then started writing what they said.

We each prayed about what word we would focus on for the year.

Our big 3 goals.

Then the 1-3-5

1) A statement that puts into a sentence or two what you want to achieve for the coming year.
3) Write the three goals listed in your sentence.
5) Write down 5 things you can do to accomplish the goal.

Here is Mine for this year:
My Word: Embrace

My big 3: Take Action, Get Stronger, Stay Open

ONE: In 2019 I will embrace taking more action, getting stronger, and staying open to being led by the Spirit. 

THREE and FIVE:

1--Take Action - Just DO it! No more pondering, planning, waiting, avoiding, or procrastinating.
     1)Workout
     2) Write
     3) Organize
     4) Clean
     5) Pray

2-- Get Stronger - Power UP!
     1) Mentally Stronger: Push through hard stuff - engage tenacity!
     2) Physically Stronger: Endurance cardio and weight lifting
     3) Spiritually Stronger: Read New Testament and write down/pray through my dreams
     4) Emotionally Stronger - Allow space for being a woman (in my man-full house), counseling
     5) Practically Stronger - Gym bag packed and ready, playlists, good Kleenex, journal   

3-- Stay Open - Flexible, available, come what may.
     1) Listen carefully to Spirit - be quiet
     2) Schedule "Open" times for appointments that arise
     3) Say YES more, to Spirit, to my Love, my fellas, as led
     4) Available mindset - don't be so focused on my agenda that I miss something important
     5) Embrace curve balls - something is always going to shake up the plan, go with it!

Plans: We keep making plans and like an epic game of whack-a-mole - and then something pops up. Then something else before you can grab a hammer, then something else once you whack the mole, another one shows up, but what if I grab a hammer in each hand and play! Laugh as the moles pop up, I bop them on the head and then again and again. Pretend this is that famous Mouse with bad pizza and sticky floors place and jump in all the way!!!

Great Expectations: After six months of a migraine, a complete hysterectomy, recovery from both, medical bills, sons in horrible situations/events that required constant attention and collaboration with the administration of schools, police, administration in other organizations, doctors, and nurses, I have high hopes for 2019. As I stated above, regardless of what comes my way, I am much stronger than I was at the beginning of 2018. For that, I am incredibly grateful!

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions and I have a copy of the actual 1-3-5 form you can fill out.

BRIEF Windows of Rest

I'm listening to podcasts today. Michael Hyatt is talking about the "discomfort zone". We want our time in that zone to be BRIEF right? If we are uncomfortable we want it over with as soon as possible!

What if I am supposed to live in the "Discomfort Zone"? I get a bit queasy just thinking about it being a long term lifestyle.

I don't grow or get stronger if I live comfortable. 

But, I can't go non-stop out of my comfort zone or I crack up. Not the funny kind either. I end up practically catatonic on the couch binge watching something useless on Netflix.

Now, I schedule BRIEF windows of rest from my "discomfort zone" schedule. I give myself permission to take a break to do something "useless" at least once a day. If you are a sprinter like I am - I work harder to earn my BRIEF rest than if I don't think I'll ever be done enough to get a break.

I took a BRIEF rest yesterday to catch the sunrise at the lake.

The discomfort zone feels less intimidating to me if I have a BRIEF planned window to be comfortable.

What do you do to rest? What do you do to
keep motivated and stay uncomfortable enough to reach your goals?

If you have no idea how to answer either one of these questions. Let me know. I can help.

My Five Minute Free Write prompt today was BRIEF.