Messy Monday: Fear SUCKS!

Fear SUCKS
the joy
the peace
the hope
the energy
the vision
the purpose
the focus
out of life.

I woke up with what felt very much like a nightmare this morning. I've studied dream interpretation for years so I am still sorting out the message in it. I know there is one, but for now, I'm using it to get back to my Messy Monday blogging.

Things are going pretty great right now.

And I am scared!

I have become so used to navigating shocking, painful, and challenging life, that I am struggling deeply with the reprieve.

I don't trust the rest.

Living with clinical depression with a side order of obnoxious levels of anxiety forces a hyper-vigilance that when there is a reprieve, I'm left floundering for something to freak out about.

Ridiculous waste of rest.

Experience tells me things will be hard again, in one way or another, because the normal ebb and flow of life happens that way. The irony is, just a few weeks ago I was talking with a friend who struggles with similar things and I was encouraging her to just rest and be.

I can look at this season as a temporary stay of execution fretting over impending doom yet unknown, or I can look at it like recess, an opportunity to take a break from the growing, learning, and stretching, to play hard, laugh more, and make space for resting and being present in this moment.

I pick recess!

I took my big guys on an overnight getaway during their spring break.
The sun shined so we put the top down on the convertible
and soaked up the rays, even though it was a bit chilly.

BRIEF Windows of Rest

I'm listening to podcasts today. Michael Hyatt is talking about the "discomfort zone". We want our time in that zone to be BRIEF right? If we are uncomfortable we want it over with as soon as possible!

What if I am supposed to live in the "Discomfort Zone"? I get a bit queasy just thinking about it being a long term lifestyle.

I don't grow or get stronger if I live comfortable. 

But, I can't go non-stop out of my comfort zone or I crack up. Not the funny kind either. I end up practically catatonic on the couch binge watching something useless on Netflix.

Now, I schedule BRIEF windows of rest from my "discomfort zone" schedule. I give myself permission to take a break to do something "useless" at least once a day. If you are a sprinter like I am - I work harder to earn my BRIEF rest than if I don't think I'll ever be done enough to get a break.

I took a BRIEF rest yesterday to catch the sunrise at the lake.

The discomfort zone feels less intimidating to me if I have a BRIEF planned window to be comfortable.

What do you do to rest? What do you do to
keep motivated and stay uncomfortable enough to reach your goals?

If you have no idea how to answer either one of these questions. Let me know. I can help.

My Five Minute Free Write prompt today was BRIEF.

When Courage is Hard to Find

Writing from the low place today. I process while I type and I decided if I want you to be real with me I must keep it real myself. As a life coach I would think conventional wisdom would be to keep chin up, positive, “come on you can do this” type of blogging as the theme and keep the daily struggles to myself.

That just isn’t me.

Today has been painful. From many levels. Recovering from sinus and ear infections, memories of past pain flooding back, mothering three strong leaders and no marital bliss in sight.

My “Brand” is Live Courageous!

What if you don’t FEEL the courage anywhere inside of you?

What if you have a complete lack of gumption?

What if even the idea of Live Courageous! sounds like a lame joke heard over the radio as you sit in your pajamas for the 3^rd day with no vision for the future?

I know that feeling. On days like this I feel my own “Brand” mocking me.  It might be the fever and the stuffy head, but misery only amplifies the “owies” of life. Even if they are my own perception, they remain painful.

So, in with the tiniest shred of courage I push up the periscope from my dark place and look for hope above and beyond today. I find this:

It often feels like the learning curve of my life was designed to torture me with epic climbs. When I am aching in my chest from the altitude, the attitudes around me, and the actions of others I MUST find in the darkness a reason to grow.

Whatever blows up, blows over, blows around, my roots need to be deep enough to hang tight until tomorrow.

We never know what is coming tomorrow. It may be worse and the tools in the growth today give us the tenacity to hang on through it or if it is better there is a reprieve from the strengthening and growing process that the darkness brings.

My encouragement to you, from the dark place today, is hang on. Do what you must. Don’t take yourself or anyone else too seriously. And most of all, get some rest. Growing, darkness, and strengthening take lots of energy.

To quote a dear and very wise friend: