Messy Monday: Messy Month

What Do You Do with an Idea?

This was one of my most very favorite of all time Christmas gifts this year! I have always been fully loaded with ideas, and this story made me smile so deeply I think my toes sparkled! I will be spending this year using the really great insights in this book.

January is always my messiest month. It is the time of memories, melancholy, and missing motivation.

This year (so far) has been my least messy January. I know it's not quite over yet but its already light years from this time last year.

January comes fully loaded with melancholy memories:

• I had to give baby Joy back to Heaven.
• My Uncle (who I was super close to) went missing, later to be found in the bottom of a ravine.
• Our marriage hit an epic level speed bump.
• My best friend's Dad (from my childhood), who was like a second Dad to me passed away suddenly.
• I was betrayed by a trusted friend.
• My faith took a spectacular hit and started an entire year of suicidal thoughts and traumatizing fear.
• I began a migraine that would last for six miserable months. 

Depressed yet?! Right?!

Here is what's different THIS year:

• I miss my baby Joy, but it's finally like she's just tucked in my heart, the agony of losing her is a memory but not a crushing loss.
• My Uncle, I miss him. Often. But the relationship I have with his sons blesses me like crazy and I can hear and see so much of him in them, it's almost like he's still here.
• Our marriage is stronger, better for the painful struggle to recover and makes me smile when I think of it. 
• My best friend's Dad. I still miss him, but if, I stop, in the quiet moments, I can still hear his voice calling me Jenn-aaa-fur (emphasis on the aaa).
• My friend and I, we've worked it out. We're going to be okay.
• My faith is tougher, pretty close to unshakable (seriously knocking on my wooden head!). It's power is limitless and my passion for loving "Everybody Always" is freaking awesome!
• The migraine is over. Extracted with all my girl parts this past summer. No sign of anything like it happening again! Correctly monitored hormones being replaced as needed and watched over carefully. 

How did this transition happen? 

I took this advice VERY seriously. 

AND

I have a few big goals, a great job, and an opportunity to finish my education. These things are keeping me busy, challenged and happy. Our sons are changing in really cool ways, growing taller than me (2 of 3), making voice crack jokes and we're finally starting to pay them for grades.

If you have reached this point in January, still feeling discouraged or beginning to feel that way, reach out. To me. To someone. You don't have to do it alone. 

Messy Monday! Nose Prints, Headlocks, Yacht Rock and Housework

Life is MESSY! I decided I should find a way to savor and celebrate this messy life instead of being disgusted or at a minimum, annoyed by it.

Years ago I wrote with a fellow blogger a regular Friday blog called "Fess Up Friday". I loved it because it kept me focused on the funny, goofy, ridiculousness of life instead of taking myself or anyone else inside or outside of my home to seriously.

Now a solid MANY years later, I am doing Messy Monday! Once I get the link up thing and a cool graphic created I'll share them with you. But for today, here's what's been messy...

I tried several angles on this. If you look closely you can see all of my ONE doggie's nose prints on the front window. Some people look at this and think, "Gross! Don't you ever clean your windows?!" to which I'd respond, "Nope. I find it amusing and cute that she smooshes her nose on the window just to see outside barking at passing dogs, people and especially squirrels. Also, I have two members of my household who get sick of looking through the dog snot and drool and clean them for me." 

Her "marks of enthusiasm" remind me I could be more passionate about seeing beyond my comfort zone, looking for people who are hanging on for dear life hoping someone will reach out instead of just bark at them from their comfy "zone". 

My Love and I have three sons. Each crazy awesome in their own way. Often, if they are together, it isn't long before one or two or even all three end up in a headlock. Here I am, trying to snap an actual ON. THE. DAY. first day of school picture and this, among others is what I get. 

Being in relationship with our sons is messy. As the lone girl in the bunch, other than the dog, I find myself having a harder and harder time relating to how they communicate, get mad, fight, let go, best buddies to mortal enemies and back again. I often feel literally, not equipped, to navigate this season of their lives. I am trying to take a step (or 12) back and let their Dad run the show, but even that makes me squeamish quite often. I have discovered that going all Mama Bear on Papa Bear is a very messy and unhelpful business, not to mention confusing for the Man-Cubs. I'm trying to back away slowly and find my coloring book or something...

Speaking of Papa Bear, my Love and I have always found common ground in music. Our Cassette and CD collections practically matched (except for my extensive collection of '80s Christian Rock) when we met. Until this summer. When Sirius radio started up with their Yacht Rock station. Oh my GAG. This is probably the ONLY time they played a cool song -- the rest of the time it was Paul Anka, Barry Manilow, Paul Simon, Air Supply, and every other 70s style smooth and groovy music that makes you nod off in a nostalgia coma. I have no issue with any of these artists individually, but when you put them on a looooooong list all together..eesh! My Love found it amusing to regularly (as in AT LEAST once a day) turn my radio to Yacht Rock so when I got in and turned the key some mellow, soul melting, song bird was trying to soothe me into unconsciousness. I snapped this picture with the comment, "When Yacht Rock backfires and it's a good song!" This is messy, because several times, I almost peed myself laughing at whatever song came on and the fact that he programmed several pre-sets so I couldn't change the song!

Finally, housework. My child who was my kitchen attendant went back to school. I scrubbed and scoured and cleaned almost the whole thing (because behind the toaster oven isn't really necessary if you clean the toaster oven, right? And forgetting to wipe down the window sill but watering the plants is almost thorough). After school started I thought it would be easier to keep up on it, without them feasting at the all day cafe'. However, I've forgotten to purchase more paper plates (our regular dishes, I hate to admit) and this summer I bought another set of actual dishes so we would have enough for more than just our family of 5 to eat on. This creates the need for more doing of dishes. I blame my mother for this loathing of dish doing I have. She rolls her eyes now and says I'm responsible for my own malfunctions now that I have my own dirty dish makers. Note the bizarre butter configuration on the slimy butter dish. I am not responsible for that either! 

Pets, relationships, marriage, and homemaking are only a few of the many things that make life feel messy, unbalanced and like you can't possibly ever keep up or catch up. But I propose this:

Perspective is everything! When I see the "MESSY" as a welcome sign of life and memories in progress instead of something to be scrubbed away, eradicated or at the very least shoved under a rug, I can receive life as a gift instead of focusing on how I'm failing at it because I can't contain the mess.

Living Courageous is to embrace the Messy life and tell about it on Mondays!

EMBRACE - Five Minute Friday

Driving west on I-90 for a joyful reunion of aunts and uncles, cousins, parents, grandparents to celebrate the life well lived of our 97-year-old Papa Ernie 

who moved to Heaven on February 22.

We will EMBRACE – hugs, memories, challenges of coordinating a zillion family members into multiple group events – Lots of opportunities to EMBRACE.

But, hopefully we will EMBRACE fully the memories and the joy of the legacy Grandpa left us with – find the fun, ponder the deep things, love God, love each other, the Gaither’s songs are still relevant, Jokes are Funny no matter how many times you tell them, know who you are, who you aren’t and most important to him: know you’re loved. Every day, all the time. Even when you do dumb stuff.

He held Grandma's hand all the time. This is the most recent picture I have from October 2016. They embraced life together. Every day they had. Together. 

My part in carrying on his legacy - EMBRACE life and EMBRACE each other.

When Courage is Hard to Find

Writing from the low place today. I process while I type and I decided if I want you to be real with me I must keep it real myself. As a life coach I would think conventional wisdom would be to keep chin up, positive, “come on you can do this” type of blogging as the theme and keep the daily struggles to myself.

That just isn’t me.

Today has been painful. From many levels. Recovering from sinus and ear infections, memories of past pain flooding back, mothering three strong leaders and no marital bliss in sight.

My “Brand” is Live Courageous!

What if you don’t FEEL the courage anywhere inside of you?

What if you have a complete lack of gumption?

What if even the idea of Live Courageous! sounds like a lame joke heard over the radio as you sit in your pajamas for the 3^rd day with no vision for the future?

I know that feeling. On days like this I feel my own “Brand” mocking me.  It might be the fever and the stuffy head, but misery only amplifies the “owies” of life. Even if they are my own perception, they remain painful.

So, in with the tiniest shred of courage I push up the periscope from my dark place and look for hope above and beyond today. I find this:

It often feels like the learning curve of my life was designed to torture me with epic climbs. When I am aching in my chest from the altitude, the attitudes around me, and the actions of others I MUST find in the darkness a reason to grow.

Whatever blows up, blows over, blows around, my roots need to be deep enough to hang tight until tomorrow.

We never know what is coming tomorrow. It may be worse and the tools in the growth today give us the tenacity to hang on through it or if it is better there is a reprieve from the strengthening and growing process that the darkness brings.

My encouragement to you, from the dark place today, is hang on. Do what you must. Don’t take yourself or anyone else too seriously. And most of all, get some rest. Growing, darkness, and strengthening take lots of energy.

To quote a dear and very wise friend: