Messy Monday: Messy Month

What Do You Do with an Idea?

This was one of my most very favorite of all time Christmas gifts this year! I have always been fully loaded with ideas, and this story made me smile so deeply I think my toes sparkled! I will be spending this year using the really great insights in this book.

January is always my messiest month. It is the time of memories, melancholy, and missing motivation.

This year (so far) has been my least messy January. I know it's not quite over yet but its already light years from this time last year.

January comes fully loaded with melancholy memories:

• I had to give baby Joy back to Heaven.
• My Uncle (who I was super close to) went missing, later to be found in the bottom of a ravine.
• Our marriage hit an epic level speed bump.
• My best friend's Dad (from my childhood), who was like a second Dad to me passed away suddenly.
• I was betrayed by a trusted friend.
• My faith took a spectacular hit and started an entire year of suicidal thoughts and traumatizing fear.
• I began a migraine that would last for six miserable months. 

Depressed yet?! Right?!

Here is what's different THIS year:

• I miss my baby Joy, but it's finally like she's just tucked in my heart, the agony of losing her is a memory but not a crushing loss.
• My Uncle, I miss him. Often. But the relationship I have with his sons blesses me like crazy and I can hear and see so much of him in them, it's almost like he's still here.
• Our marriage is stronger, better for the painful struggle to recover and makes me smile when I think of it. 
• My best friend's Dad. I still miss him, but if, I stop, in the quiet moments, I can still hear his voice calling me Jenn-aaa-fur (emphasis on the aaa).
• My friend and I, we've worked it out. We're going to be okay.
• My faith is tougher, pretty close to unshakable (seriously knocking on my wooden head!). It's power is limitless and my passion for loving "Everybody Always" is freaking awesome!
• The migraine is over. Extracted with all my girl parts this past summer. No sign of anything like it happening again! Correctly monitored hormones being replaced as needed and watched over carefully. 

How did this transition happen? 

I took this advice VERY seriously. 

AND

I have a few big goals, a great job, and an opportunity to finish my education. These things are keeping me busy, challenged and happy. Our sons are changing in really cool ways, growing taller than me (2 of 3), making voice crack jokes and we're finally starting to pay them for grades.

If you have reached this point in January, still feeling discouraged or beginning to feel that way, reach out. To me. To someone. You don't have to do it alone.