CAPTURE To Break Free

CAPTURE is the Five Minute Free Write for today. It is sparking some interesting thoughts for me.

Ever since I had an unfortunate experience of transference over 20 years ago, I have been extra aware of the need to CAPTURE my thoughts before they run away and take on a life of their own.

Perspective is everything.

I've found it's not enough to CAPTURE my thoughts, but I have to re-frame them and see with a more powerful perspective. "I am not the center of the Universe!" How something effects me isn't the ultimate guide to decision making. Right?!

Our society has cultivated a victim mindset in so many ways that its become as subtle as a whispered lie in my ear. In order to recognize and live the freedom God has given me in Jesus, I have to not only CAPTURE the thoughts that seem so real and rational but replace them with wisdom that isn't focused on my self-serving perspective.

If you aren't a big Jesus fan, that's just fine. There is still more freedom on the other side of CAPTURing self-serving/destructive/unhealthy thoughts and shifting perspective to see a bigger picture.

After all these years of practice I have developed a unique way of doing this. For more information or to schedule a free consult, send me an email at uniquelycraftedpurpose@gmail.com.

START Letting Go

I wanted to be a Mom my whole life. Got married at 20 so for sure I thought I'd be done having babies by the time I was 30, right? Nope. I was 32 when I found out, on this day, 15 years ago that I finally had joined the "Mommy" club. 

I had no idea at the time the pain I was longing for. I found out I was pregnant and it was an epic celebration. I was super thrilled, as were all of our friends who had watched us struggle for over 9 years with infertility. 

I knew, in advance, from the time the umbilical cord was cut, I was going to have to START letting go. Here I am, 15 years later, learning about yet another layer of letting go. Giving our oldest more freedom, more space, more opportunities to succeed or fail is crazy hard. I am sure keeping him locked in the house for the next 5-10 years would also be challenging, but I am not sure it's a bad idea some days.

We enjoy who he's becoming. We are glad he's ours. 15 years we discovered he was on his way, and as of his actual birth day - we've had to START letting go. 

Do You Live Like You're LOVED?

I'm writing with the Five Minute Friday peeps that I adore. What an amazing community to be a part of!

This week's word prompt is LOVED.

This is immediately what came to mind after the month I've had:

This month I've had a lot of opportunities to focus on my faults and shortcomings (I have that opportunity daily, but some months are more intense than others). The specifics are unnecessary to share, but the fact remains - I am changed.

To live LOVED is different than trying to get love. When I live LOVED I don't have expectations of returned love. I don't need it. I already know I am LOVED. When I'm trying to be seen, appreciated, acknowledged, then any attempt others make to love me falls short. No amount of love, time or attention can compensate for the black hole created by my trying to get love and prove that I can or should be LOVED.

These are the opportunities that presented themselves.
To choose anger instead of grace.
To embrace pain instead of hide under the bed with my dog.
To push back on alarm with faith or freak out and go back under the bed.
To let heartbreak submerge me or lean in to the relationship.
To give back what I have been given or withhold in resentment.
To speak freedom and life or shame and condemnation.

Honestly, I did a bit of all of the above. Except climb under the bed - there just isn't room. When I was able to choose (moment by moment) to believe how LOVED I am, I could eventually (I am not perfect!) choose grace, embrace pain, find my faith, lean in, give, and speak life. It wasn't pretty, easy or fun. But, it happened - messy, uncomfortable, and stressful. The challenges remain, but so does my great big God who reminds me through nature, beauty, people, animals, and circumstances beyond my understanding that I am LOVED.