START Letting Go

I wanted to be a Mom my whole life. Got married at 20 so for sure I thought I'd be done having babies by the time I was 30, right? Nope. I was 32 when I found out, on this day, 15 years ago that I finally had joined the "Mommy" club. 

I had no idea at the time the pain I was longing for. I found out I was pregnant and it was an epic celebration. I was super thrilled, as were all of our friends who had watched us struggle for over 9 years with infertility. 

I knew, in advance, from the time the umbilical cord was cut, I was going to have to START letting go. Here I am, 15 years later, learning about yet another layer of letting go. Giving our oldest more freedom, more space, more opportunities to succeed or fail is crazy hard. I am sure keeping him locked in the house for the next 5-10 years would also be challenging, but I am not sure it's a bad idea some days.

We enjoy who he's becoming. We are glad he's ours. 15 years we discovered he was on his way, and as of his actual birth day - we've had to START letting go.