Messy Monday: Back to School, Averages, and Making Time

I skipped last week, and my Love would say I need to be in bed instead of making sure I post this week. However, I made a commitment to mention my messiness so here it is!

AND SHINY THINGS!!!

Introducing ME! 

I started back to school on the 10th. My "vintage" credits made most of the cut so I am starting mid-Junior year as far as credits go.  Here is the introduction entry I made for my first assignment. 

Jennifer Bogdanowicz here, majoring in Healthcare Administration, living in northern Idaho with my husband of 27+ years, our three sons who are 14, 13, and 10. I have served in multiple administrative and medical positions over the years. I finally decided to combine the two and do something useful with both. I never wanted a career, only to be a stay at home mom. Almost 10 years of infertility forced me to get a job (or many) and find a way to invest in people since I couldn’t be a parent. My resume’ is loaded with everything from Head Athletic Trainer, Executive Assistant to Idaho State Fire Commissioners, Emergency Medical Technician, Pony Pals ride operator, substitute teacher, owner of Live Courageous Coaching, LLC, and currently the Supplemental Inpatient Secretary for the Adolescent Psych Unit in our region’s largest hospital.

I am an avid blogger, specializing in transparency regarding marriage, parenting, and life in general. I love Jesus, adore Brene’ Brown, appreciate sarcasm, and swear more than my husband. Our family motto is “Be the Blessing” and we actively work together at encouraging others and laughing hard every day.

I believe Leadership happens by intentional example. I have served in multiple leadership positions since I was 16 (roughly 1,000 years ago). I love audiobooks on leadership and drive my family crazy with reminders they make an impact – positive or negative – wherever they go with quotes like “Your response is your responsibility.” “Did you communicate blessing with your words or actions?” and “Speak Life, Damnit!”

I look forward to growing personally and professionally in the process of completing my degree. This class looks like it will bring up great revelation and stir up things I’ve learned in the past that have been dormant for decades.

Now, last week I managed to get 9/10, 25/25, and 40/40. I anticipate I am not likely to repeat this glorious miracle due to my inattention to the APA style of formatting required. I just can't seem to wrap my brain around it. In the meantime, I celebrated Christmas early with my people tonight, had a celebratory dinner, finished up the last week of their schooling by taking a zillion pictures, attending festivities, hosting a Christmas party for the boys friends and their parents (I highly recommend this), and somehow managing to wrap, mail, and only be stressing over about 20 Christmas cards I still haven't sent yet. So, I am hoping that this assignment, even if I bomb it can be counteracted by brilliance in the next few weeks. I'm not holding my breath... but I do love the class and being in school again!

I spent the WHOLE day with my family yesterday. Sitting in a not-cozy lodge at the top of a gorgeous mountain and soaking up my people and our friends. It was a gift. Just being. I was supposed to download some school work, but it didn't work so I colored instead. Most inspiring moment: Watching my Love choose to learn something new. After 45 years on skis he got on a snowboard! I was crazy proud, made our friend promise not to break him, and loved being there to witness the choice, the lesson (some of it, at least) and the post effort pains of learning a new physical skill after 40...

This week was MESSY, but soooo worth it. I certainly sent my fair share of PLEASE PRAY texts to my tight few who slay dragons in the heavenlies for me on a regular basis. We also had some gut crunching belly laughs, smart ass brilliance, and quality conversations.

Merry Christmas!
Stay MESSY my Friends!

Five Minute Friday: WITH You

The last Five Minute Friday post for the year and I apologize for missing last week. It was my first week of school and I couldn't catch up with myself or my schedule!

But this week, I am WITH you...

I am wired to be WITH you. Not just beside or near you.

WITH you means: to be in the muck, the joy, the stench, the party, the gang, the depths, I'll be WITH you there. I am not afraid, it is part of who I am.

I know that is how God is, for me. WITH me. I don't want to be God for you. YIKES! Five minutes with me, my busted verbal filter and my crazy non-conventional faith and you'll be confident that I am not!

However, I know how to be WITH you because I've learned that being WITH someone in a pleasant or even dreadful place, is sacred. I wrote to a friend recently that she needed time to grieve. To soak in the pain and process it, regardless of the people around her ready for her to "move on" or "look at what you do have".

Sometimes the discomfort of being WITH people in their misery, grief, tragedy, despair can be scary - like it might get on you too. Sometimes it does. The remedy is the same. Showing up and being WITH someone is a sacred act of love worth doing. Because, after all, Love is something you DO.

Messy Monday: Listen Closely, They're Worth It

When your kid has a meltdown, what do you do? Do you shut it down? Send them to their room? Hear them out?

My Love and I work hard to hear them out. We attempt to listen between the lines for their heart struggle beyond the extreme emotions being expressed. The temptation to shut them down because the timing of their meltdown is inconvenient or annoying can be hard to resist. We believe the act of choosing relationship with them, even when they are “messy” is a consistent conscious effort worth making. They each have legitimate stress in their lives putting excess pressure on them. It is no wonder it falls out, at the end of a long day or in the early morning worries.  All three of our sons have been bullied, belittled, and told they make life harder for the people around them.

The crazy thing is, most of the people communicating this are ADULTS. It’s shocking how many adults don’t want to accept responsibility for their own behavior/decisions and put it off on kids. Our boys, who have been knocked unconscious by another kid, stalked relentlessly by a peer, and be targeted by impatient teachers (often substitutes) for being themselves, are learning how to be tough AND kind. Protective AND respectful. Gracious AND holding someone accountable for their actions.

These challenges are not unique to them. We make that point often. But, I pray, that by sharing this, someone will give an emotional teen or pre-teen an opportunity to off load their stress, listen between the lines, and be a supportive adult instead of expecting a kid to make things easier on the grown up with decades more life experience and hopefully, maturity.