Five Minute Friday: WITH You

The last Five Minute Friday post for the year and I apologize for missing last week. It was my first week of school and I couldn't catch up with myself or my schedule!

But this week, I am WITH you...

I am wired to be WITH you. Not just beside or near you.

WITH you means: to be in the muck, the joy, the stench, the party, the gang, the depths, I'll be WITH you there. I am not afraid, it is part of who I am.

I know that is how God is, for me. WITH me. I don't want to be God for you. YIKES! Five minutes with me, my busted verbal filter and my crazy non-conventional faith and you'll be confident that I am not!

However, I know how to be WITH you because I've learned that being WITH someone in a pleasant or even dreadful place, is sacred. I wrote to a friend recently that she needed time to grieve. To soak in the pain and process it, regardless of the people around her ready for her to "move on" or "look at what you do have".

Sometimes the discomfort of being WITH people in their misery, grief, tragedy, despair can be scary - like it might get on you too. Sometimes it does. The remedy is the same. Showing up and being WITH someone is a sacred act of love worth doing. Because, after all, Love is something you DO.

Messy Monday: Listen Closely, They're Worth It

When your kid has a meltdown, what do you do? Do you shut it down? Send them to their room? Hear them out?

My Love and I work hard to hear them out. We attempt to listen between the lines for their heart struggle beyond the extreme emotions being expressed. The temptation to shut them down because the timing of their meltdown is inconvenient or annoying can be hard to resist. We believe the act of choosing relationship with them, even when they are “messy” is a consistent conscious effort worth making. They each have legitimate stress in their lives putting excess pressure on them. It is no wonder it falls out, at the end of a long day or in the early morning worries.  All three of our sons have been bullied, belittled, and told they make life harder for the people around them.

The crazy thing is, most of the people communicating this are ADULTS. It’s shocking how many adults don’t want to accept responsibility for their own behavior/decisions and put it off on kids. Our boys, who have been knocked unconscious by another kid, stalked relentlessly by a peer, and be targeted by impatient teachers (often substitutes) for being themselves, are learning how to be tough AND kind. Protective AND respectful. Gracious AND holding someone accountable for their actions.

These challenges are not unique to them. We make that point often. But, I pray, that by sharing this, someone will give an emotional teen or pre-teen an opportunity to off load their stress, listen between the lines, and be a supportive adult instead of expecting a kid to make things easier on the grown up with decades more life experience and hopefully, maturity.

Five Minute Friday: BALANCE?!

Today's Five Minute Friday prompt is one I have wrestled with for years.

I have concluded: looking for, pursuing and seeking BALANCE is a waste of time.

I've spent more time trying to do that than being present. In life. What I've found in trying to find BALANCE is I spend more time wondering/worrying if something I'm doing or not doing is the right thing. Spending time trying to find BALANCE is like standing in the middle of a teeter totter while kids, church, school, dog, neighbors, friends, family and whoever else, jump on and off of either side randomly and with varying intensity. That is not a wise place to stand, as far as I'm concerned.

Snagged this from Google

I'd rather be on one side, adjusting as needed to the ups and downs as they come, being fully present in what is - which I believe is way more valuable and effective not only for my heart and mind but for the people around me.

And then there's this...

“I can confidently say that stories of pain and courage almost always include two things: praying and cussing. Sometimes at the exact same time.” ― Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

This book changed me. It gave me permission to do exactly what I wrote above. My faith was strengthened, my trust in who God created me to be and what He built me to say was reinforced so I can be fully present, regardless of what happens, making the need for BALANCE irrelevant.