31 Days of 5 Minute Free Write: Afraid

31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

It's the wee hours. I hear him banging around downstairs. I'm too tired to move. I fall back to sleep. The noise wakes me up again. I drag myself out of bed to confront the kid who didn't resist temptation to play the Xbox. I forgot to put the controllers away. He couldn't stop himself.

I send him back to bed and climb back into mine. As I lay there, thoughts race through my head. What else am I missing? What happens if the game isn't all he's looking at? What if a Creeper decides to hunt down my kid?

The icy cold fear shivers through my being as I think of the possible scenarios that could impact any one or all of our three sons. I cry out from my heart: "God, I am SO AFRAID! Why can't I just trust You with them? This hyper-vigilance is going to ruin me and them. I have to sleep!"

I fall into a troubled sleep. Wake up before my alarm, shower, dress, and get to work. 

Fear based parenting never works. Ever. I cannot be AFRAID to make a mistake, let something slip past me or be AFRAID they will make a mistake. It has to happen. 

Some how. Some way. I have to let go. Again.

Your STORY Matters

This is the first day of the five minute prompts to encourage writers from all over the world to put fingers to letters and get words on the page. I can write for five minutes. It will take me longer to edit, add links, pictures or music or whatever, but for some reason, the idea of writing for five minutes on any topic doesn't seem as intimidating as it once was.

STORY

Go.

When God created us, the plan was for us to be connected. Our stories intertwine because that's how we were designed. Your story matters to me, and my story matters to you. Why? Because you have great value and so do I.

We don't always honor each other's stories like we should.

How do you value the story of someone you don't know?

If they are rude, be kind. If they are hungry, feed them, If they are broken, bring healing. If they are lost, find them, see them.

Part of becoming a wise and kind world citizen is living as if the people you know AND the people you don't know, both have an impact on your life. We are closer than we think and when we encounter other people created in the image of the God we proclaim as ours, make space for their story. You never know the impact you may have on them, or they may have on you.

Stop.

Messy Monday; Candy Corn, Making A Difference, and Being Mean

I am eating slowly but I didn't count our a serving size.

Today's Messy Monday is brought to you by a slightly over-wound middle aged woman huffing the lavender mist being released by her diffuser, intentionally nibbling candy corn instead of gorging on it like feed corn in a trough (I LOVE candy corn), while sitting criss-cross-applesauce next to the dog on the bed.

Thinking about this past week I am more than a little disturbed. There is a lot of messy happening in our world, country, states and cities.

The world messiness I pray for often but don't feel there is a lot of impact I can make, Nationally, I am heartbroken by what's happening in our conversations concerning predators, offenders, and victims. While I can pray for an appropriate outcome for those in the public eye, I choose to dial in to the difference I can make here, in my home, community, and sphere of influence.

We need to SEE each other and HEAR each other. When you see someone in trouble, do you get involved or stay out of it? Do you ask questions or back away slowly? Do you respond with compassion?

Sometimes I feel this surge of confidence as I walk right into an obviously tense situation and say, "May I help you?", other times, I step aside, pray, watch and wait for the nudge to move forward into the area of concern or the peace to step away. I have never been particularly compassionate. I care about people and I prefer to shoot straight instead of politely, gently, cautiously, causing you to consider you might want to think about a different course of action.

Before I started my business (I'll add the link when my new website goes live, but message me in the meantime if you want to know more), I was teased by my co-workers about naming it "Kick Ass Coaching", We regularly laughed about it because, even though I may not always be warm and fuzzy about telling you the truth or asking hard questions, you always know I care too much about you to feed you any flavor of nonsense whipped like cotton candy and served on a stick.

I have no idea where this came from but I LOVE it!
I'd love to know where it originated because it's awesome!

A pastor I once served with talked about how important it was to have mean friends. That's me. I'm the mean friend. The one that sticks to your face, looks you in the eye and regularly reminds you of how amazing you are and how much possibility and hope remains to be experienced

What if the women (and men) who experienced these crazy awful situations had a friend who would not only be safe enough to hear their story, but strong enough to hold them tight and remind them they can speak up, speak out, and they would walk beside them through the whole process? Could you be that kind of friend? What if we did that for each other?


 I am also a mean mom. So mean, I make my kids hang up uniform shirts, give them grief about socks with their sandals and I don't run out an buy them a tie when they've decided to do a "dress up competition" several days in a row with another kid in their grade, no matter how bad they want to win.


And finally, this. Yes, take pills if you need them. Some of us would be a WHOLE LOT MESSIER if we didn't take the vitamins, hormones, anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, anti-seizure, high blood pressure, or happy pills available to care for bodies and minds.

To get spiritual about this meme:We don't struggle against flesh and blood but against the powers of darkness (Eph 6:12) so the world I'm flipping off is the darkness that would try to suck me in to its vortex of discouragement, hopelessness, and a complete bag of candy corn.